• Sharebar

Lets be honest..the market stinks. Nearly every BB is doing almost no hiring outside their SA class. And if they do, they will probably just be cross-hires from other summer analysts.

For many of you, you have wasted 21 years of your life working hard for a dream that will never be true. You could've been a doctor, engineer, lawyer, architect, or w/e and made good money...but you chose business. Now you will never have the opportunity to use a vast sum of money by working 80+ hours a week to get hot women to pretend to like you.....

Since your lives are now a complete waste, and you will be a lonely middle class individual your whole life...what method do you plan to use to off your miserable existence from this world.....

Will it be violent, or clean? Will you go out with a bang, or silently into the night?

1 1

Comments (39)

  • bearing's picture

    Suicide? This coming from the kid who goes to NYU. Glad they finally put up those barriers in the library.

  • OpsDude's picture

    O I'm not killing myself, but people on this board definitely are.

  • EpicWinner123's picture

    In 3-5 years when the markets bounces back they will have openings to the point where the markers fucks itself again...like now

  • In reply to bearing
    holymonkey's picture

    bearing:
    Suicide? This coming from the kid who goes to NYU. Glad they finally put up those barriers in the library.

    Oh there are ways to kill yourself here. Last year some freshman killed himself in his dorm. If worst comes to worst, just run out in front of a FedEx van.

    "We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

    "We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

  • ibdreamer's picture

    If you kill yourself because you don't get a job in ib, you are a moron. IB or any job is NOT worth your life.

  • prospie's picture

    "If you kill yourself because you don't get a job in ib, you are a moron. IB or any job is NOT worth your life."

    we know this. thanks for ruining a funny thread

  • guimion11's picture

    In all honesty, if I don't get into S&T, I'm starting my own business once I'm done with school....

  • DiPietro's picture

    Point of information, architects don't make shit until way down the road. It's like 30k after 5-6 years of school. That's why I no longer major in architecture.

  • RE_Banker's picture

    rent a ferrari and drive it into a concrete wall at 200mph. make sure you forget to sign the insurance form

  • aachimp's picture
  • CDN's picture

    By having lots of unprotected sex with hookers and strippers and hopefully contracting aids.

  • RE_Banker's picture

    mexican firing squad. google: mexican firing squad cartoon and select the second link...hilarious

  • ginNtonic's picture

    I will find some subprime foreclosed house and light it on fire with myself in it

  • C.R.E.A.M.'s picture

    Hari kari samurai style - I am an IBD Samurai if I cannot serve my master financial institution I cannot live.

    "There is only one bottom line -- how much money you make."

    "There is only one bottom line -- how much money you make."

  • charlie 09's picture

    I would expect this thread to be getting quite a few posts given the events of this week.

  • wintonheights's picture

    i mean, if you cant get credit to over extend yourself in housing anymore....theres still time left and other means.

    how about you just go out and get yourself a few credit cards and max those limits? at least you can live the dream of a wall street life before the creditors come calling.

    tho after that be prepared to live your every existence in fear and loathing. creditor emails, phone calls, letters, hell maybe even a house visit. the stress gnaws at you from inside out - unless youre lucky you have a heart attack. but thats just cheating. i recommend the slow binge processing of drugs and alcohol. at least youll be unrecognizable to your friends and family at the funeral. gruesome.

    hmm. well, the downside tho is maybe the government indirectly bails you out at some point. then youd be like a phoenix - rising from the ashes. to live a new, proud, debt life again!

    ....but that defeats the purpose. so maybe you choose one of the other selections above. cause attempting financial suicide twice is well, for masochists.

  • CKnew's picture

    I love the kids who responded seriously at the start of the thread, they are classic.

    And you wonder why you can't crack an interview...

  • Mr.Green's picture

    I will take what money I have left, go to the strip club and pay for the hottest strippers to come back to my apartment. There we will blow rail after rail, until our noses start bleeding. I will then move on to having intercourse with all of them while pounding a bottle of whiskey. Then, when done sexing the ladies and barely coherent, I will lay on my mattress on the floor (as all of my possessions have been sold for illegal drugs, including my bed post), where I will proceed to mainline the groceries...

    Or Ill just get some experience else where and jump in when the market turns around...

  • OpsDude's picture
  • CompBanker's picture

    This thread reminds me of the "Bunny Suicides".
    http://biboz.net/bunny-suicides/

    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    CompBanker

    CompBanker

  • Little Engine Would's picture

    I'm sure that this is sarcasm, but this is the general aura that this site conveys. There are plenty of great things to do in finance outside of IB.

  • In reply to Mr.Green
    Little Engine Would's picture

    Mr.Green:

    I will take what money I have left, go to the strip club and pay for the hottest strippers to come back to my apartment. There we will blow rail after rail, until our noses start bleeding. I will then move on to having intercourse with all of them while pounding a bottle of whiskey. Then, when done sexing the ladies and barely coherent, I will lay on my mattress on the floor (as all of my possessions have been sold for illegal drugs, including my bed post), where I will proceed to mainline the groceries...

    Or Ill just get some experience else where and jump in when the market turns around...

    You stop when your nose starts bleeding? That just increases absorption, dude. I bet you don't bang on her period either.

  • OpsDude's picture

    I clicked on the topic title, thought "What a stupid topic," and then see I wrote it myself 6 years ago. Awesome.

  • In reply to OpsDude
    GoldenCinderblock's picture

    OpsDude:

    I clicked on the topic title, thought "What a stupid topic," and then see I wrote it myself 6 years ago. Awesome.


    self-trolled
    fucking awesome
    Upon first glance, Goldie was like, "You're better than this, dude."

    heister:

    Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

  • ArcherVice's picture

    I had a suicide pact with Cramer, we were going to commit Seppuku on Air.

  • In reply to RE_Banker
    PeteMullersKeyboard's picture

    To unlock this content for free, please login / register below.

    Sign In with Facebook Sign In with Google

    Connecting helps us build a vibrant community. We'll never share your info without your permission. Sign up with email or if you are already a member, login here Bonus: Also get 6 free financial modeling lessons for free ($200+ value) when you register!

    "When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."

  • In reply to GanciniBelt
    GoldenCinderblock's picture
    heister:

    Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

  • In reply to OpsDude
    DickFuld's picture

    The TRUTH about Lehman Brothers

    2018 Incoming Summer Investment Banking Analyst

    Sent from my iPad

  • In reply to Big Shot Hopeful
    torchic's picture

    speed boost > blaze