7 Reasons Match.com and Bankers are the Perfect Marriage
I'm sure if you don't live under a rock you read about the "finance guy" that kept an incredibly detailed spreadsheet (attached to this post for logged in users) of his "prospects" on Match.com....and was dumb enough to actually send it out to one of his dates. I know, I know, old news... but why all the hate? clearly he was just doing what he was trained to do since he was a young boy.
First off, before we crush all the haters out there and definitively prove why Match.com and bankers are the perfect match, I have to ask ... Which one of you WSO Monkeys was this?!?! REALLY?! Have we taught you chimps nothing? Never share our secrets again or you will face an onslaught of monkey shit.
Without further ado, here are the 7 reasons why Match.com and bankers are actually the perfect marriage:
7. Match.com claims to have "inspired twice as many marriages as any other site in the world." Bankers claim to have inspired twice as many divorces as any other career in the world. Opposites attract.
6. With over 15 million members, anyone can sign up and join but the 1% can be as selective as they want. Looking for Sloan in that pullover v-neck sweater in salmon colored skinny jeans on her daddy's boat in the Hamptons? No problem.
5. Match.com now offers a 6-month guarantee: if you don't find someone special in 6 months, they will give you 6 months free. Dating bankers makes this guarantee obsolete. How will you know if Jimmy from M&A is that "special someone" if you've only seen him four times in the last 6 months? Should she ask for the refund? No! Now she has 6 more months to figure out the hard truth. Time well spent.
4. Bankers are trained to sell companies so it is an easy transition to sell themselves. Don't think we can hide our girl-like frame with a nicely tailored suit or hire strippers to pose casually with us like they are our friends? You're wrong.
3. With limited time and thousands of women to stalk, it is crucial to make this into a scientific process. Bankers excel at this: spreadsheets, valuations, DCFs, probabilities and a mind that is able to synthesize all of this information quickly and efficiently (tip: high probability of junk-in-the-trunk if all photos are chest and up)
2. Match.com is a goldmine for any value investor or banker that excels at spotting undervalued assets. Yes, that 35 year old MILF just winked at you and she doesn't care you're a 23 year old banker or how you got your balance sheet to balance.
1. WWBD. What Would Bateman Do?






Comments
holy shit YOU CAN ATTACH
holy shit YOU CAN ATTACH SPREAD SHEET?!!>!
monitor casually heard thats
monitor casually heard thats what swagon says when he gets busted for stalking people
WWDDD - What Would Don Draper
WWDDD - What Would Don Draper Do
Internet dating? Dude, just show up to the bar and be fucking awesome.
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
Damn, just opened that
Damn, just opened that spreadsheet. It was more disturbing than I originally thought :|
My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil - JP Getty
I think Capt. K said on a
I think Capt. K said on a previous thread that the guy in question is a tertiary acquaintance of his (also that the guy's not really a "banker" in the classic sense). Hopefully he weighs in to spill the beans here.
nychimp: 2. Match.com is a
2. Match.com is a goldmine for any value investor or banker that excels at spotting undervalued assets. Yes, that 35 year old MILF just winked at you and she doesn't care you're a 23 year old banker or how you got your balance sheet to balance.
10/10
ashleymadison looks better on
ashleymadison looks better on resume
RIP WSO Chat.
I am not annoyed by the guy
I am not annoyed by the guy and don't think he is creepy at all; dating is exhausting and it could get very confusing if you're doing it on line. It's always good to keep tabs instead of texting the wrong person an invitation to see all 6 Star Wars movies and then get the response of "I thought you were cool, have a nice life...NERD".*
What is eating at me is his lack of excel skills. He could've done so much better.
* This may or may not have happened to me.
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
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Edmundo Braverman: I think
I think Capt. K said on a previous thread that the guy in question is a tertiary acquaintance of his (also that the guy's not really a "banker" in the classic sense). Hopefully he weighs in to spill the beans here.
Right on cue. As I said in the other thread, this guy is a friend of a friend of a friend of mine, and he works at FactSet. Hardly a "financier".
All that aside, is this really so bad? The comments about the girls aren't overly harsh, he's just trying to keep everything straight. How is that "incredibly creepy"? This is absolutely no different than the proverbial "little black book" that guys have been keeping since the beginning of time.
- Capt K -
"Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
All that being said, I've
All that being said, I've spent my fair share of time on Match, and honestly had a pretty great experience. Went out with some awesome (and hot) girls, and actually found a really great one that I'm still dating. I'd add to the above list:
8. Investment bankers ability to work insane hours for little reward comes in handy on Match.com. As a guy, you'll have to send 10 emails for every one response, since the ladies actually worth dating are inundated with 10+ emails per day. You've got to keep plugging and not get discouraged - just like when you pull two all nighters to finish a book, and your MD doesn't even thank you.
Still, stick it out - online dating has definitely crossed the chasm into "normal people". Most girls on there aren't socially weird, gaming you for dates, etc. They're just normal people trying to meet someone someplace besides bars.
- Capt K -
"Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
I'm a girl and I approve of
I'm a girl and I approve of this spreadsheet.
Real playas don't need to keep it straight tho'... AMIRITE
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CaptK: All that being said,
All that being said, I've spent my fair share of time on Match, and honestly had a pretty great experience. Went out with some awesome (and hot) girls, and actually found a really great one that I'm still dating. I'd add to the above list:
8. Investment bankers ability to work insane hours for little reward comes in handy on Match.com. As a guy, you'll have to send 10 emails for every one response, since the ladies actually worth dating are inundated with 10+ emails per day. You've got to keep plugging and not get discouraged - just like when you pull two all nighters to finish a book, and your MD doesn't even thank you.
I also met my current girlfriend on Match.com, so this theory must be true.
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Props to Patrick and CaptK
Props to Patrick and CaptK for their Match.com prowess.
Now be honest, what's wrong with them that they're using online dating?
I'm betting vestigial tail.
Amiright???
Edmundo Braverman: Props to
Props to Patrick and CaptK for their Match.com prowess.
Now be honest, what's wrong with them that they're using online dating?
I'm betting vestigial tail.
Amiright???
Online dating was looked down upon lets say 3-4 years ago, but now pretty much everyone who doesn't have a gf/bf by 30 is using it. EB the thing in "real life" is that you're always sizing the other person and not making moves, because 99% of the people are afraid of rejection and end up hooking up with their friends or friends friend. But on match.com everyone is there for a single goal "hook-up". That being said, I still prefer real life and have decided not to date for the next 5 yrs.
|| But feeling good and enjoying life are prerequisites to success, not by products of it- Midas Mulligan Magoo ||
I DIDN'T KNOW VLOOKUPS STOOD
I DIDN'T KNOW VLOOKUPS STOOD FOR VAGINA LOOKUPS ?!?!?!?!?!
go.with.the.flow: That being
- Capt K -
"Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
go.with.the.flow: Edmundo
CaptK: go.with.the.flow: Tha
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
Why isn't there a dating site
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
Connor: Why isn't there a
- Capt K -
"Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
CaptK: Connor: Why isn't
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
CaptK: Connor: Why isn't
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can i have she_monkey I will
i wanna blow Dave... like
Do you like Match.com? I’ve
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
Connor: Do you like
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
UFOinsider: Connor: Do you
blastoise: holy shit YOU CAN
Cheers.
CaptK: All that being said,
This is an incredible
I'm curious who that first
Why I don't want to date for
|| But feeling good and enjoying life are prerequisites to success, not by products of it- Midas Mulligan Magoo ||
go.with.the.flow: Why I don't
go.with.the.flow: Why I don't
This guy worked at FactSet
mb666: go.with.the.flow: Why
|| But feeling good and enjoying life are prerequisites to success, not by products of it- Midas Mulligan Magoo ||
go.with.the.flow: So I'm not
Edmundo Braverman: Props to
whatwhatwhat: Edmundo
- Capt K -
"Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
^ Can I just ask how old you
mb666: ^ Can I just ask how
Ben Hargrove: mb666: ^ Can I
- Capt K -
"Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
Same.