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What b-school and Ben Franklin taught me about networking
 

bankerella's picture
IB
(King Kong, 1,895
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 2:30pm
Social-Networking-Development.jpg

Four more quick ones from my $250k notebook:

1) Small talk is big talk. Do not fuck it up, do not ignore it. It is just as worthy of practice as your STARR model and your handshake.

2) Weak ties are more valuable than strong ties. They enable you to reach further outside your current circle.

3) "Good to meet you" needs to be more than just a phrase. You need to be genuinely happy to meet them. Laughter is key. Whether that means boozing it up a little or keeping Failbook up on your phone (my personal secret weapon), find a way to make it happen no matter what kind of day you've had.

And the big one....

4) The Ben Franklin paradox: "He that has once done you a Kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged."

In short, if you can get someone you don't know very well to do you a favor, they will like you slightly more than they originally did. If you wait a little while and ask them for another favor, they're more likely to do it, because they now like you.

Two reasons for this:

1) Self-justification. "I don't want to be a dick and say no, so I'll do the favor even though I don't know this guy." Five minutes later: "Why did I do him that favor? Must have been because I liked him."
2) Payback. "That guy owes me a favor. I think I'll stay on his radar."

Then, when you actually do return the favor, you've shown reciprocity... the foundation of relationships on Wall Street.

See my other WSO blog posts

Comments

blackjack21's picture

I feel like you're Asian. Am

(Orangutan, 280
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 3:13pm

I feel like you're Asian. Am I right bankerella?

Just like one of y'all looking for a chance.
My Finance and Investing blog: http://froginvestor.blogspot.com

kyleyboy's picture

I like it

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 3:15pm

I like it

I help people with the tough situation of not knowing how to respond to emails.

In reply to blackjack21
Ron Paul's picture

blackjack21: I feel like

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 3:21pm
blackjack21:

I feel like you're Asian. Am I right bankerella?

Bella this is important I need to know. Please advise.

blackjack21's picture

This is important to know.

(Orangutan, 280
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 3:24pm

This is important to know. Most of us are just fucking around on WSO at work anyway.

Just like one of y'all looking for a chance.
My Finance and Investing blog: http://froginvestor.blogspot.com

In reply to blackjack21
bankerella's picture

blackjack21: I feel like

IB
(King Kong, 1,895
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 3:29pm
blackjack21:

I feel like you're Asian. Am I right bankerella?

Interesting question. I could see how you'd get that impression from this post. But seriously, have you read my other posts?

I think it comes down to this: how many female Asian douchebags do you know?

Yeah, yeah, they're out there for sure. Every now and then you meet one. I know one: she's Asian, but she's also a third-generation New Yorker, born and bred. She's engaged to a WASP guy who works in PE, and get this: she went to his family's summer house recently and then complained that THEIR food was too adventurous. True story.

In short: based solely on what you can read of me here, you can safely assume that if I am Asian, I'm not a very traditional Asian.

See my other WSO blog posts

In reply to bankerella
Ron Paul's picture

bankerella: Yeah, yeah,

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 3:34pm
bankerella:

Yeah, yeah, they're out there for sure. Every now and then you meet one. I know one: she's Asian, but she's also a third-generation New Yorker, born and bred. She's engaged to a WASP guy who works in PE, and get this: she went to his family's summer house recently and then complained that THEIR food was too adventurous. True story.

I think that's a Seinfeld episode.

PS: Are you Asian?

GS's picture

Naah , I'd guess aggressive

ST
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 3:45pm

Naah , I'd guess aggressive New York Jewish woman.

Senvik's picture

How are weak ties more

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 3:50pm

How are weak ties more valuable? Those people don't give a shit about you. They might do you a favor but you mean nothing in the long run. Better to focus on close ties while maintaining weak ones. No need to shoot for them. Everyone you meet is a weak tie.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer

In reply to GS
Ron Paul's picture

GS: Naah , I'd guess

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 4:24pm
GS:

Naah , I'd guess aggressive New York Jewish woman.

Not picking up that vibe. I think Ella likes to use stealth moves to win the office politics game, using her B-school savvy to crush haters like Ben Franklin did.

In reply to Ron Paul
GS's picture

Ron Paul: GS: Naah , I'd

ST
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 4:29pm
Ron Paul:
GS:

Naah , I'd guess aggressive New York Jewish woman.

Not picking up that vibe. I think Ella likes to use stealth moves to win the office politics game, using her B-school savvy to crush haters like Ben Franklin did.

Fair enough. I'm using a simple Probability measure. Given a woman who says 'fuck' as often as Bankerella does , my best estimate would be aggressive East Coast Jewish lady.

In reply to Senvik
stvr2013's picture

The idea is that weak ties

IB
(Orangutan, 260
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 4:33pm

The idea is that weak ties connect you to people with whom you have little in common. If you have little in common, then it is likely that that person runs in a different circle than you do and thus has different information, connections, and, hopefully, opportunities than those you have strong ties with. For example, if you're networking with an alumni who's a couple years older than you and you two have a lot of mutual friends, then you probably won't gain anything new from him/her. This person is likely a "strong" tie.

On the other hand, let's say you meet someone ten years older than you, who shares no mutual connections, at a networking session or at the gym or something, and you manage to make a brief connection and a "weak tie". This person has a completely new set of contacts than you do and can *hopefully* introduce you to new people, information, opportunities, etc., unlike the alumni who you are closer with.

Obviously, in certain situations strong ties are better because they're generally more willing to help. But if you truly want to expand your network, weak ties are key.

Read "strength of weak ties". We had to in one of my college courses, pretty insightful.

spaceagecowboy's picture

bankeralla is a yiddishicup,

HF
(Orangutan, 272
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 4:35pm

bankeralla is a yiddishicup, theres no question.

In reply to Ron Paul
bankerella's picture

Ron Paul: GS: Naah , I'd

IB
(King Kong, 1,895
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 4:37pm
Ron Paul:
GS:

Naah , I'd guess aggressive New York Jewish woman.

Not picking up that vibe. I think Ella likes to use stealth moves to win the office politics game, using her B-school savvy to crush haters like Ben Franklin did.

Franklin's a role model of mine. The guy was a great businessman before he was a statesman. The autobiography is a useful read for business students, as long as you keep in mind that the author is looking back across thirty-forty years and portraying himself in soft focus for posterity.

The realpolitik side of Franklin, however, is shown in his actual business letters: http://franklinpapers.org/franklin/. These letters were saved by his correspondents and show the grittier side of how he made his money and rose to power. Those things don't lie.

See my other WSO blog posts

In reply to bankerella
BlackHat's picture

bankerella: Ron

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 5:12pm
bankerella:
Ron Paul:
GS:

Naah , I'd guess aggressive New York Jewish woman.

Not picking up that vibe. I think Ella likes to use stealth moves to win the office politics game, using her B-school savvy to crush haters like Ben Franklin did.

Franklin's a role model of mine. The guy was a great businessman before he was a statesman. The autobiography is a useful read for business students, as long as you keep in mind that the author is looking back across thirty-forty years and portraying himself in soft focus for posterity.

The realpolitik side of Franklin, however, is shown in his actual business letters: http://franklinpapers.org/franklin/. These letters were saved by his correspondents and show the grittier side of how he made his money and rose to power. Those things don't lie.

I take it upon myself to clarify that BF's only goal in life was to slay as much puss as humanly possible, all else was just a means to a very soft and delicious end. I emulate this in my daily life to the best of my efforts, and hope to one day be able to proudly say that I "gave it my all out there" while my 7 ex-wives all look down at me wondering how they're going to split up all my shit.

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

In reply to BlackHat
GS's picture

BlackHat: bankerella: Ron

ST
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 5:19pm
BlackHat:
bankerella:
Ron Paul:
GS:

Naah , I'd guess aggressive New York Jewish woman.

Not picking up that vibe. I think Ella likes to use stealth moves to win the office politics game, using her B-school savvy to crush haters like Ben Franklin did.

Franklin's a role model of mine. The guy was a great businessman before he was a statesman. The autobiography is a useful read for business students, as long as you keep in mind that the author is looking back across thirty-forty years and portraying himself in soft focus for posterity.

The realpolitik side of Franklin, however, is shown in his actual business letters: http://franklinpapers.org/franklin/. These letters were saved by his correspondents and show the grittier side of how he made his money and rose to power. Those things don't lie.

I take it upon myself to clarify that BF's only goal in life was to slay as much puss as humanly possible, all else was just a means to a very soft and delicious end. I emulate this in my daily life to the best of my efforts, and hope to one day be able to proudly say that I "gave it my all out there" while my 7 ex-wives all look down at me wondering how they're going to split up all my shit.

Things are different now. Ben Franklin would have been bankrupted by child support to his many illegitimate children.

In reply to GS
bankerella's picture

GS: Things are different

IB
(King Kong, 1,895
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 5:27pm

See my other WSO blog posts

In reply to bankerella
Ron Paul's picture

bankerella: GS: Things are

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 5:33pm
In reply to bankerella
GS's picture

bankerella: GS: Things are

ST
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 5:42pm
goodL1fe's picture

Bankerella take off your mask

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 7:00pm

Robert Clayton Dean: What is happening?
Brill: I blew up the building.
Robert Clayton Dean: Why?
Brill: Because you made a phone call.

In reply to goodL1fe
BlackHat's picture

goodL1fe: Bankerella take off

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 7:00pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

evilbyaccident's picture

Bankerella, Your posts are

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:17pm
In reply to bankerella
blackjack21's picture

bankerella: GS: Things are

(Orangutan, 280
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:54pm

Just like one of y'all looking for a chance.
My Finance and Investing blog: http://froginvestor.blogspot.com

In reply to goodL1fe
stvr2013's picture

.

IB
(Orangutan, 260
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:14pm
seabird's picture

People who ask favors of me

PE
(King Kong, 1,558
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:04pm

“...all truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”

- Schopenhauer

wannabeaballer's picture

Operation "Bankerella" was a

O
 
Points)
 on 7/31/12 at 12:30am
In reply to evilbyaccident
onedumbmonkey's picture

evilbyaccident: Bankerella, Y

 
Points)
 on 7/31/12 at 12:30am

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid"

In reply to evilbyaccident
Saul_Villa's picture

evilbyaccident: Bankerella, Y

 
Points)
 on 7/31/12 at 12:45am

Personal wealth is not how much you have in the bank or the worth of your portfolio. But, rather how you've used the wealth to make your life and those around you better.

In reply to Saul_Villa
Going Concern's picture

Saul_Villa: Obviously you

(King Kong, 1,885
 
Points)
 on 8/1/12 at 12:34am

You have to play the game to find out why you're playing the game.

jankynoname's picture

Bankerella: Any chance you

ER
(Baboon, 152
 
Points)
 on 8/1/12 at 4:40am
mdk6c's picture

It's pretty lame how every

(Baboon, 167
 
Points)
 on 8/1/12 at 11:46am
In reply to mdk6c
bankerella's picture

mdk6c: It's pretty lame how

IB
(King Kong, 1,895
 
Points)
 on 8/2/12 at 12:35am

See my other WSO blog posts

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