Four more quick ones from my $250k notebook:
1) Small talk is big talk. Do not fuck it up, do not ignore it. It is just as worthy of practice as your STARR model and your handshake.
2) Weak ties are more valuable than strong ties. They enable you to reach further outside your current circle.
3) "Good to meet you" needs to be more than just a phrase. You need to be genuinely happy to meet them. Laughter is key. Whether that means boozing it up a little or keeping Failbook up on your phone (my personal secret weapon), find a way to make it happen no matter what kind of day you've had.
And the big one....
4) The Ben Franklin paradox: "He that has once done you a Kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged."
In short, if you can get someone you don't know very well to do you a favor, they will like you slightly more than they originally did. If you wait a little while and ask them for another favor, they're more likely to do it, because they now like you.
Two reasons for this:
1) Self-justification. "I don't want to be a dick and say no, so I'll do the favor even though I don't know this guy." Five minutes later: "Why did I do him that favor? Must have been because I liked him."
2) Payback. "That guy owes me a favor. I think I'll stay on his radar."
Then, when you actually do return the favor, you've shown reciprocity... the foundation of relationships on Wall Street.
I feel like you're Asian. Am I right bankerella?
Interesting question. I could see how you'd get that impression from this post. But seriously, have you read my other posts?
I think it comes down to this: how many female Asian douchebags do you know?
Yeah, yeah, they're out there for sure. Every now and then you meet one. I know one: she's Asian, but she's also a third-generation New Yorker, born and bred. She's engaged to a WASP guy who works in PE, and get this: she went to his family's summer house recently and then complained that THEIR food was too adventurous. True story.
In short: based solely on what you can read of me here, you can safely assume that if I am Asian, I'm not a very traditional Asian.
PS: Are you Asian?
I like it
This is important to know. Most of us are just fucking around on WSO at work anyway.
Naah , I'd guess aggressive New York Jewish woman.
Fair enough. I'm using a simple Probability measure. Given a woman who says 'fuck' as often as Bankerella does , my best estimate would be aggressive East Coast Jewish lady.
Franklin's a role model of mine. The guy was a great businessman before he was a statesman. The autobiography is a useful read for business students, as long as you keep in mind that the author is looking back across thirty-forty years and portraying himself in soft focus for posterity.
The realpolitik side of Franklin, however, is shown in his actual business letters: http://franklinpapers.org/franklin/. These letters were saved by his correspondents and show the grittier side of how he made his money and rose to power. Those things don't lie.
I take it upon myself to clarify that BF's only goal in life was to slay as much puss as humanly possible, all else was just a means to a very soft and delicious end. I emulate this in my daily life to the best of my efforts, and hope to one day be able to proudly say that I "gave it my all out there" while my 7 ex-wives all look down at me wondering how they're going to split up all my shit.
How are weak ties more valuable? Those people don't give a shit about you. They might do you a favor but you mean nothing in the long run. Better to focus on close ties while maintaining weak ones. No need to shoot for them. Everyone you meet is a weak tie.
The idea is that weak ties connect you to people with whom you have little in common. If you have little in common, then it is likely that that person runs in a different circle than you do and thus has different information, connections, and, hopefully, opportunities than those you have strong ties with. For example, if you're networking with an alumni who's a couple years older than you and you two have a lot of mutual friends, then you probably won't gain anything new from him/her. This person is likely a "strong" tie.
On the other hand, let's say you meet someone ten years older than you, who shares no mutual connections, at a networking session or at the gym or something, and you manage to make a brief connection and a "weak tie". This person has a completely new set of contacts than you do and can hopefully introduce you to new people, information, opportunities, etc., unlike the alumni who you are closer with.
Obviously, in certain situations strong ties are better because they're generally more willing to help. But if you truly want to expand your network, weak ties are key.
Read "strength of weak ties". We had to in one of my college courses, pretty insightful.
bankeralla is a yiddishicup, theres no question.
Bankerella take off your mask and reveal yourself to WSO. For everyday you don't reveal your true identity innocent monkeys will get defecated on.
Sincerely,
The Joker
One of my buddies always says "defeciated" and I try to tell him every time that it's wrong and that what he's saying is actually closer to the exact opposite of what he wants to say.
Not sure why I said that but I enjoyed telling you.
.
Bankerella,
Your posts are borderline useless. It took you 300 words to say "Take a genuine interest in people" and "Be nice to everyone."
Either your MBA program was worthless or you are.
Straight from "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
But I do disagree with your statement. Her posts might not have the highest value/time ratio, but they are still entertaining and offer some insights IMO
Obviously you forget that the main thing higher education teaches you is how to take a one sentence idea and extend it to a paragraph of bullshit.
For better or worse, a STEM major taught no such thing :(
People who ask favors of me without having warranted it/my good will disgust me, as does the concept of networking with people because of some trivial similarity.
Operation "Bankerella" was a smashing success on two fronts: it created more posts on non-Wall Street related issues, thus driving unique traffic to WSO, and it also created a pretentious villain for the readers to rally against. While I'm sure you enjoyed "her" company over the past six months, It is time to terminate the operation and roll out a better project.
Bankerella: Any chance you took Harry Davis' class?
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