Whiskey Is Delicious

Okay, so I go out Saturday in New Orleans with my pal LetsGoSailing. We get an early start around noon because we want to find a good spot to watch the Kansas-Missouri game at 3. We catch a quick chili burger at Bud's Broiler and then head to the Quarter. He's got a cooler of Bud Light in the car, and we grab a couple of them to take strolling with us on Bourbon when we finally find a parking spot.

We're walking around and I'm wondering why I ever left this place. Here it is on a Saturday afternoon just a few days after Mardi Gras and the place is on fire. There are people everywhere drinking and carousing, live music pounding through the walls of every bar, and 3-for-1 drink specials as far as the eye can see. I remember one of you told me about Yo Mama's for burgers, so we turned down that street to check out the menu when we got there.

I'm 3 or 4 beers deep now, and I'm starting to feel really bloated. I guess it's because I don't drink beer anymore (where I live champagne is cheaper than beer and French beer is godawful). Right next door to Yo Mama's is a bar called the Boondock Saint and they have a sign outside written simply in chalk that reads, "Whiskey is delicious." I stop and think to myself, "You know what? Whiskey is delicious."

So we head in to the bar and it is a local joint. As in, the barmaid actually gets testy when a tour group stumbles in 20 minutes later asking for Hurricanes (irony alert: Pat O'Brien's - the home of the Hurricane - is just across the street). We've found a spot at the bar next to a couple of off-duty NOPD cops trading war stories about the people they tazed during Mardi Gras. Good times.

I ordered a Jameson on the rocks and she gives me the longest pour I've ever seen. She literally filled up an 8-ounce go cup. The Kansas game starts up and we've found our home for a while. By the time we leave at halftime, I'm about two-thirds of the way through my third Jameson tall boy. Whiskey is delicious!

From there we headed to Razoo, which always seems to be going off. They're offering 3-for-1 beers and the place is packed. Some chick in a short red dress is getting the crowd fired up by alternately gyrating on stage and coming down into the crowd to dance seductively with other girls. I switch back up to beer at this point.

We leave Razoo after a while and head back down Bourbon. The balcony at the Krazy Korner is relatively empty, and they also have 3-for-1's on offer. We head upstairs to take in the view from above and the bartender convinces me to try this low-grade Canadian whiskey that supposedly compares favorably with Crown Royal. It doesn't. But I got 3 of them for the price of 1, so there's that. It's basically swill, so I have him throw it in a medium go cup and top if off with Coke so I can choke it down.

It's here where we catch the rest of the Kansas game, and it was a great finish with Kansas winning by 1 in overtime. It was a historic win considering Kansas and Missouri is the oldest rivalry west of the Mississippi and they'll probably never play each other again (Mizzoo is moving to the SEC next year).

Out on the balcony a chubby black shot girl latches on to us. She's relentless, so LetsGoSailing throws her a bone and buys a couple of shots. They turn out to be Jaeger, which is truly wretched. Before I know it, I've bought three or four more, and she tosses a couple herself and manages to spit the test tubes high enough to hit the ceiling. The crowd goes wild.

For those keeping score, I've now been drinking beer, whiskey, Jaeger, kamikazes, and a couple other mystery liquors. I'm like a college freshman at his first mixer and, as such, I'm peaking way too early. We head to Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop to check out the piano and mellow out for a while.

Of course it's too early for the piano player to be there, so we order a couple of beers and just sit around the piano. This actually shows admirable restraint on my part, because I usually get into the Purple Jesus when I'm at Lafitte's, but I somehow have the presence of mind to realize that 190 proof liquor would be a bad idea at this point. After a while, we meet another off duty cop and his wife, and they decide to tag along when we head to Pat O'Brien's to meet any WSO monkeys who decide to show up at 8.

We find a table in the courtyard and order a round of Hurricanes. Taking us for tourists, the waiter brings them in Hurricane glasses, which carry a $3 surcharge per drink. Silly waiter. We're locals! Get that shit out of here and bring us paper cups. We kill the first round and order a second, and shortly after it arrives the cop shows us just how wasted he is by whipping out his piece from his ankle holster. This is a Stage 5 party foul. I sign for the tab and LetsGoSailing and I GTFO and quick.

The rest of the night is a blur. I honestly don't remember taking the photo accompanying this post, but yes, that is a dude. We spent the night on LetsGoSailing's boat, and I couldn't tell you what time we made it in. I came to in the morning and checked my bankroll. I had both my credit card and ID, so that was good, and I had most of the cash I'd left with the day before. I basically paid for everything on my credit card for the night.

So just this morning I pulled up my account to see the damage, and I was shocked. The sum total of 9 hours of debauchery on Bourbon Street? $87, including tips. Jesus, I'm a lightweight. I talked to my wife yesterday and she told me that she talked to LetsGoSailing's girlfriend the night before, and she told my wife that he called her from the boat at 9:30.

In other words, we were finished before everyone else in New Orleans even got started.

Brutal.

I am officially soft, and no longer deserve to call New Orleans home.

But whiskey is delicious.

 

For those keeping track, the only food in this pub crawl was a chili burger at 1:30pm...somehow the discussion of food never came up again until after dawn on Sunday...so, although we were done early, the duration and volume of alcohol were quite respectable. New Orleans welcomes Eddie home anytime he wants to return...Hurricanes on Wednesday, dude??

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
 

Hahaha... Eddie, sounds like a good time. That's my kind of write-up. Well done man. At least you guys didn't invoke the age old art of Bear Fighting! With certainty, I say that it would have spelled doom for the two of you. And yes, Whiskey is quite delicious.

 

When I first saw the photo, I thought Eddie did something he regretted the following morning.

Calling Ron Paul an isolationist is like calling your neighbor a hermit because he doesn't come over to your property and break your windows.
 

Don't put ice in your whiskey, only ever a dash of water.

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 
happypantsmcgee][quote=Oreos:
Don't put ice in your whiskey, only ever a dash of water.
Or buy whiskey stones.

http://www.amazon.com/Teroforma-1220-Whisky-Stones/dp/B002GZX2DE[/quote]

You're missing the point. By cooling the whiskey you kill it's flavour, why do you think people shove shit loads of ice in vodka when they're young. Water is acceptable as sometimes with high alochol content whiskies the alcohol can burn your mouth and lose some of the flavour, water will dilute it enough to alleviate this.

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 
Best Response
Oreos][quote=happypantsmcgee][quote=Oreos:
Don't put ice in your whiskey, only ever a dash of water.
Or buy whiskey stones.

http://www.amazon.com/Teroforma-1220-Whisky-Stones/dp/B002GZX2DE[/quote]

You're missing the point. By cooling the whiskey you kill it's flavour, why do you think people shove shit loads of ice in vodka when they're young. Water is acceptable as sometimes with high alochol content whiskies the alcohol can burn your mouth and lose some of the flavour, water will dilute it enough to eliviate this.[/quote] Fair point. I just prefer it cooler than room temperature and don't want to dilute the actual taste and the refrigerator makes it too cold. Tomato tomatoe

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

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