Explaining what you do to a layman.
(Senior Baboon, 198
Points)
on 4/16/11 at 4:03pm
Have you tried to explain to your friends or dates what you do as an SA or Analyst and get the dumbfound look. They probably think bankers just pick stocks all day or make loans. How do you explain what you do to the average person on the street or bar?





did you hear about AT&T
did you hear about AT&T buying T-Mobile? we help organize deals like that
shit is easy, you simply say
shit is easy, you simply say '' make bank and fuck models''
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You work with clients to help
You work with clients to help them value their assets and/or the assets of companies they want to buy. You also help them raise capital for expansions or possible acquisitions. Anything more and you are talking to a college student who wants a job.
You know what an engineer does--neither do I. I just know that they build shit or draw crap on paper using a lot of math and geometry. If an engineer started telling me what they did in detail I might understand 25% of it---the same goes with finance and any other profession that requires 4+ years of college.
"Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."
If I were a banker I would
If I were a banker I would just say, you know what a realtor does right? They sell a house and get a commission. An ibanker does the same thing; someone wants to sell all or part of a company, and we help them find a buyer and get a commission in return. So we're realtors, but we deal with companies instead of houses.
Honestly though guys, the absolute best thing to be able to tell someone is "I have my own business", regardless of whether it's Paulson & Co., or Plumbing, Inc.
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its so complex, its
its so complex, its cool...............
"too good to be true"
See my WSO Blog
I work in energy so lately I
I work in energy so lately I just say. "I keep your homes heated and the lights on...".
Why would you ever try to explain to date what you do, just a sure way to make it go nowhere.
On most first dates, they
On most first dates, they usually throw out that question or what's your future plans? I just tell them I am the guy they see in movies where they see my butt in naked scenes, just to get a laugh. Then the date usually ask what I really do, so I tell them what I plan on doing at my SA and they get that deer in headlight look, so I switch topics to change the mood.
Just date people in the
Just date people in the industry and you will be all set - I hear those banking analysts are HOT, particularly once they put on 10-15lbs during the first year!
alexpasch wrote: If I were a
If I were a banker I would just say, you know what a realtor does right? They sell a house and get a commission. An ibanker does the same thing; someone wants to sell all or part of a company, and we help them find a buyer and get a commission in return. So we're realtors, but we deal with companies instead of houses
That's the explanation I use almost to the word. Everyone knows what a realtor does, and most people can grasp that for a company fairly easily. Then you can move on and actually talk about something interesting.
- Capt K -
"Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
starwin wrote: On most first
On most first dates, they usually throw out that question or what's your future plans? I just tell them I am the guy they see in movies where they see my butt in naked scenes, just to get a laugh. Then the date usually ask what I really do, so I tell them what I plan on doing at my SA and they get that deer in headlight look, so I switch topics to change the mood.
Lol that's a canned line from one of the gaming gurus. Do you also tell them you're a disposable lighter repairman? What were the other jokes regarding profession?
Lol I bet the really hot chicks must be getting tired of hearing the same fucking jokes over and over. Thank god I don't use any of that shit anymore lol.
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A few people in my extended
A few people in my extended family still encourage me to "network" with a retail bank teller from their hometown that moved to an outlet in NYC. They might be fucking with me at this point. Then again, when I ask them about the financial crisis, their responses indicate that they actually believe Goldman Sachs was literally embezzling money to fund their salaries and gamble with.
I have tried the realtor explanation, news clippings, etc. and I still don't think they get it. For some reason, the idea of a bank beyond a deposit taking local branch just does not compute. I think if they ever actually understood that the fractional reserve system means their deposits are not in a vault beneath the bank, they might start putting their money in a mattress.
Hmm, girls in NYC know that
Hmm, girls in NYC know that bankers are the guys with no time, lots of disposable income, nice car, and a share in the Hamptons - isn't that enough?
Trading at a bank = Running a
Trading at a bank = Running a casino
Non-guaranteed returns, edge, barriers to entry.... rinse and repeat -> PROFIT
I’m upfront and honest. If
I’m upfront and honest.
If they’re liberal, I tell them I feed most of Africa by giving them food (until it runs out, at least…but I don’t mention that part).
If they’re republican/conservative/libertarian, I tell them I single handedly develop successful economies out of struggling African nations.
Sure, that's more detail than required, but it's important for people to know what investment bankers do. There's already enough misconception about Wall Street.
swagon wrote: I’m upfront and
I’m upfront and honest.
If they’re liberal, I tell them I feed most of Africa by giving them food (until it runs out, at least…but I don’t mention that part).
If they’re republican/conservative/libertarian, I tell them I single handedly develop successful economies out of struggling African nations.
Sure, that's more detail than required, but it's important for people to know what investment bankers do. There's already enough misconception about Wall Street.
Dont forget that you also help the locals set up small business that let them make jewlery out of spent shell casings.
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When I was an SA way back in
I say "we act as a broker"
Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis - when I was dead broke man I couldn't picture this
I just tell them I am a money
ambition is a state of permanent dissatisfaction with the present.
I just say 'its fucking
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
happypantsmcgee wrote: I just
Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays
heister
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
happypantsmcgee
Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays
boutiquebank4Iife wrote: When
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