1/14/11

A very wealthy philanthropist died near my town and I am thinking of going to the funeral for some networking.. Just not certain what the most efficient way to identify the right folks to speak to is.
Any thoughts?

Comments (27)

Best Response
1/14/11

You're going to want to buy the darkest shade of charcoal suit you can find. Obviously, stay away from black ties as that's a big no-no in this industry and everybody at the funeral will know that you're a Noob, dark solid colors are appropriate for these kinds of situations.

Obviously know your technicals ("if they paid $20,000 for this funeral and he was buried with $500 in valuables, assume r=10%, what is the present value of a 75 year old man's funeral?), your fit questions ("why this funeral?" " where do you see your funeral down the road?"), be ready for some brainteasers of course ("how many caskets are in this graveyard?" "if there are three grave sites and two were vandalized, but you could only check one of them, how could you know which two were vandalized?"). And, in the end, just be genuine, humble, and convey the idea that you're the kind of guy future coworkers would want to attend funerals with.

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1/14/11

lol good one.

People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can't trust people Jeremy

1/14/11
1/14/11

Talk to the guy in the box, he knows everyone there

1/14/11

HAHAHHAH so funny

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

WSO is not your personal search function.

In reply to jake8383
1/14/11
jake8383:

Talk to the guy in the box, he knows everyone there

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can't trust people Jeremy

1/14/11

Fuck networking, funerals should be put to a much more productive use. Just remember that "Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWkqBRuwjeY

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1/14/11

I really hope this is a troll. Or you're a huge douchebag for doing this and I hope someone calls your bluff. Like you say the guy's name wrong and some drunk depressed dude f*cks u up.

Reality hits you hard, bro...

In reply to Nouveau Richie
1/14/11
Nouveau Richie:

Fuck networking, funerals should be put to a much more productive use. Just remember that "Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWkqBRuwjeY

+1, my thoughts exactly haha

1/14/11

Ahha rebel, that's unreal. I'm sitting here laughing out loud at 4:30, wow.

Most people do things to add days to their life. I do things to add life to my days.

Browse my blog as a WSO contributing author

1/14/11

by far hilarious

1/14/11

Guys stfu, maybe the op was serious. Follow the steps below:

Start sobbing very loud in the middle of speeches and lean over the casket and say "Grandpa I wish I was there for you!"

That will get some heads turning and people meeting up with you afterwards. Of course, they wouldn't dare question your relationship with the old man. (If he has real grandchildren in attendance - very likely - then quickly stir up a story how you're the long lost grandson)

In reply to Getgo
1/14/11
Getgo:

(If he has real grandchildren in attendance - very likely - then quickly stir up a story how you're the long lost grandson)

Don't forget to complain about being left out of the will too...

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

1/14/11
1/14/11

Come on, man. Don't sell your soul

Leadership can be defined in two words: "Follow Me"

1/14/11
1/14/11

ASSHOLES

"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.

1/14/11

Someone went Monkey doo doo nuts on this thing...

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

1/14/11

rebel LOL

so at a funeral...better chance of getting laid or hired?

1/14/11

I like the way this guy thinks

However: be respectful of other people's grief if you want to be entrusted with OTM. Funerals are social events and peope go for many reasons, many of them less honorable than trying to get a job (there's going to be a lot of people there to take a crack at the estate). But, if you're a sociopath you will definitely not get a job and could get your ass kicked

MAA, WHERE'S THE MEATLOAF!!!!

Get busy living

In reply to GOB
1/14/11
GOB:

rebel LOL

so at a funeral...better chance of getting laid or hired?

I dunno, how about just go for both?

Get busy living

1/14/11

Thanks all. I knew there would be some hilarious comments. This is quite frank actually. Truth be told; the LADY philanthropist was pretty old and in poor health. She was pretty stellar and very charitable. I see it this way: I need to be in a position of wealth and power so that I can contribute to the community in her place in years to come.
A legal Robbin Hood of sorts...
and w.r.t. the ladies.. they all love someone who puts others' needs in front of his own.

In reply to UFOinsider
1/15/11
UFOinsider:

But, if you're a sociopath you will definitely not get a job and could get your ass kicked

Au contraire, if he is a sociopath, he will not only get a job, but also marry the favorite granddaughter within 3 months an after she dies in an unfortunate accident, wil get her siblings feeling sorry for him and let them join family business, which he will eventually overtake.

More is good, all is better

1/15/11

ask sophisticated questions like, how liquid are her kidneys, their out-of-body book value, and if there are any potential buyout offers in the pharmaceutical black market. just do your heathcare research and you'll be fine. good luck!

In reply to Argonaut
1/15/11
Argonaut:
UFOinsider:

But, if you're a sociopath you will definitely not get a job and could get your ass kicked

Au contraire, if he is a sociopath, he will not only get a job, but also marry the favorite granddaughter within 3 months an after she dies in an unfortunate accident, wil get her siblings feeling sorry for him and let them join family business, which he will eventually overtake.

Hahahaha, yeah, I guess don't get caught being a sociopath...

Get busy living

1/15/11

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1/15/11

More is good, all is better

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