How did IB affect your personality?
Working 100 hours a week, sleep deprivation, bosses yelling at you, making more money than other young professionals, pressure to transfer to PE - all characteristics any banker undoubtly experienced during his/her two (or more) years in banking.
I am wondering how these two years of constant pressure (have) affect(ed) your personality when you interact with friends, family or partner. Looking back at your two years, did you feel like you changed in either a positive or negative way?
While not in banking (law, instead), I often catch myself being more annoyed at slow working people or even if things do not work out in general. Quite happy to realize I lost the feeling of 'the world only revolves around [my firm]', yet it still comes back every now and then.
My personal interaction with people I am very close hasn't changed, but I do notice I have become more insensitive towards acquaintances.
I did not open this topic to get flamed by anybody who thinks I am an asshole. I still respect people, irrespective of what they do for a living and I do not think this will ever change.
I get annoyed very easily.
Everything needs to be done quickly. I find the outside world to be incredibly slow.
I catch jargon slipping into everyday life. "It is what it is" means nothing to 99% of the the population.
Sometimes I'll find myself talking about things the other person (a) doesn't know about, (b) doesn't care about.
I am somewhat more judgmental. I don't expect everyone to work 70+ hour weeks - I have nothing but respect for a guy working 50 hours a week in marketing at P&G. But when I see people graduating from mediocre colleges with degrees in film, 20k in debt, and no work experience, I think "What the hell is wrong with you?"
I tend to associate exclusively with people who have their shit together. I do not have any stoner/slacker friends. This wasn't really a conscious choice; I guess my daily activities just don't overlap with theirs.
I expect high response rates to texts, emails, phone calls, etc. in a fairly short time frame. If somebody says, "Oh, I didn't check my email today," I am stunned - you have an iPhone, why do you not have mail pushed to your phone? Actually, the only people I have patience with are friends in finance/law.
Amazingly, I have stayed rather frugal. I don't drink much, rarely spend more than $10 on a meal for myself, and do most things myself (laundry, cooking, cleaning). My one "vice" is an Equinox gym membership, which has more to do with its location relative to my apartment than anything else. That said, I am happy to throw down $120 to take a girl out, and will pay more than my fair share if out with friends who are in grad school/lower paying professions.
To my surprise, I am also a nicer person. The world is too small to hold grudges. I will go out of my way to help people, both with their careers and personally. I am more generous with my time, even though I have less of it. I'm not sure if this is just part of growing up, or if I have developed a thicker skin through working in finance.
This is the biggest thing for me. I respond to e-mails as quickly as possible, partially to get them off my plate and partially because I've been trained in my job to be very responsive to requests for things, even if that response is "sorry can't help you but try X" or "I've got this but am really busy until 4:30 today, mind if I get it to you then" or something along those lines. Most of my friends are in pretty demanding jobs so many are good about responding to things, but it blows my mind when someone takes more than a few hours to respond to a basic e-mail.
Side note: does anyone know how to keep iPhone text messages unread (or something equivalent)? I find it really annoying and I forget to respond to some texts because I read the text, don't have time to respond right away but want to keep it "unread" for an hour or so and then respond, and then forget about it because the alert goes away. Especially now that iPhone sometimes opens text messages you get automatically when you unlock your phone, this has caused me to forget to respond to more than a few moderately important things.
Settings>Messages>Send Read Receipts. Just toggle that and you'll be fine.
It hasn't really impacted my personality to be honest. I am annoyed by people not problem solving (friends texting me to ask where cross streets are to a bar when we both have smartphones with Google Maps and could both find the answer just as easily), but it's never a big enough deal for me to make a deal of it. If anything, I think the work situation makes me value time with my friends more, simply because that time is more scarce than it would be otherwise.
I will say that if someone ever goes way over the line acting like an arrogant prick, it can be quite enjoyable to cut them down to size or to simply know that you could if you wanted to, but that's only ever with people outside the social circle who are acting pretentious / conceited, etc.
There's no reason why banking should impact who you are when you are with your friends / family. If it gets to that point, then the job really isn't worth doing anymore. You aren't any different than anybody else, you just happen to work more and you earn a decent paycheck. I think too many kids think that because they went thru a bunch of shit to get these jobs that it magically means that they are better than other people and can treat them however they want. This is absolutely not the case. I treat everyone the same, unless they are acting like a jerk, in which case you just shut them up and move on. It can certainly be empowering knowing that you're 25 years old and your annual take home is north of a quarter mill, but there are tons of people making more and tons of people making less. Life isn't about measuring your success against the success of others, because there is no way to win that game. Life should be about SHARING your success with others and letting them share THEIR success with you.
If you have a good head on your shoulders and cherish your relationships with your friends and family, it isn't very hard to stay grounded while working in this industry. If you ever get to the point where you are feeling like King Shit of the Universe, just go back into the office and intentionally fuck up some pro forma math and see how long it takes for you to be the "biggest hiring mistake I've ever made."
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That's probably the best compliment I could ever hope to receive...
Mine do this too, and ask me other random questions. To the extent that they will ask me to look up random shit for them. I don't really mind it (there is always downtime), but why are you asking me? I would understand if you needed me to pull some research, or were asking me about something finance related. But I have access to the same Google as everybody else, which is what I will use to answer your random question.
This. Banking is more likely to give you self-esteem issues than a massive ego. I actually don't know any analysts who act like "masters of the universe". You don't feel that rich, and you are really too tired/busy to give a shit.
To the OP: I never worked in banking, but have done the NYC finance thing for a while after growing up in a pretty small town. Now, my own mother thinks I'm an arrogant prick.
Could not have said it better myself. Well done, +1
it has made me impatient and irritable. like others have said, I grow incredibly impatient with people who don't know how to quickly locate and process information. the types of people you interface with in finance are smart and logical; and i've really come to appreciate that.
my biggest pet peeve is when people don't respect my free time. it's hard for my acquaintances to understand what it's like to work 100 hour weeks, and they really can't comprehend the amount of stress I am under on a daily basis. my free / personal time is measured in hours per week, and if something happens to mess up that free time it always affects me.
i too feel like i have a lot of confidence. my area of expertise are specific tech companies that are frequently in the news and are hot topics of conversation at parties, etc. i do find it frustrating sometimes listening to random friends opine about the "value" of these tech companies. i mostly just bite my tongue.
This is my biggest pet peeve against people that work long hours. They think their time is more valuable than everyone else's. Last girl I dated (Sales manager at a department store) had a huge power trip because she was the youngest sales manager ever and could hire/fire people at 22 and what not....she thought because of that her time > my time.
I would expect someone that works 100 hours/week to be extremely organized with your time. I understand you have less free time than me, but that doesn't mean you can waste MY time.
As for things that have changed for me since I started working, responding turnaround time is a HUGE one. Love my friends that respond "hey I'm busy, but I will get back to you on that tonight."
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What's your point?
When you work 100 hours a week and people flake, messing up the ONE free evening I've had in the past month, it seriously pisses me off and I suspect many others who work in banking.
I never said my time was more valuable. I do see you have a gold star next to your name, but I don't have a clue how you are comparing my experience to someone who works in a department store? This thread is about bankers and how it affects your relationships & personality. It's not about some 22 year old girlfriend on a power trip.
can't speak from personal experience cuz i don't actually work in ib, but from my friends and former bosses that do/did, their version of attention to detail is on a whole other level from other peoples'.
also really quick to yell. not cuz theyre pissed off, just cuz they're used to it i think
It has definitely made me more of a perfectionist, stressed out, etc. But then again our experiences shape who we are. I could also say that going to a good school has changed me (both in positive and negative ways).
In my opinion it's all about keeping things in perspective, keeping your priorities straight, and remembering that one asshole boss you had or guy you knew and never want to be.
Just a lot more nihilistic for the most part.
Not sure if this was a serious answer. But I'd be curious to hear why.
I used to get very annoyed very quickly, short temper. My foot would permanently tap on the floor, to the point that my knees were being crushed. Hair loss, and generally being a douche.
A year after being out of banking, and I'm right back to my old self, chilled, easy going, unfortunately, I can't say the same for the hair loss situation.
Things people have mentioned that I can relate to:
People who cannot find information quickly. WTF you took time to call me to ask me to google something for you?
Feeling like I want every second of free time to be awesome. I have no patience for traffic/slow salespeople/hogging machines at the gym/waiting for drinks/meals that are anything less than incredible, etc
Just not understanding people who are unemployed/underemployed or who are just kind of idling along in their jobs. I love what I do and I want to make a career out of it. It's the thread that connects one job to another and keeps me coming back day after day.
Something I haven't seen mentioned:
Sloppy clothes in the office. I am generally wearing decent dress slacks and a reasonably new/nice shirt every day; we don't go full business formal in my office. I cannot understand why somebody would think it's okay to come into work in wrinkled khakis and a shirt with yellow deodorant stains in the underarms.
Nail on the head here. Respect to your view on personal relationships outside banking in general.
I may add I get very annoyed if random doormen at nightclubs act extremely arrogant (especially this prick at Le Bain). In case you are wondering - yes, I do think it's somewhat frustrating ;-)
Personality - Better or worse? (Originally Posted: 01/09/2012)
Do you feel you've changed since you've been in banking? Better? Worse? Is there a personality that suits banking particularly well that you have found yourself emulating?
I'm still in college but some of my less "career minded" friends give me shit about wanting to go into ibd/ or finance in general because they say I'm too relaxed.
lol some kid in one of my classes gave me the same shit.
i told him to relax.
It's all about how you handle different situations I think
Around other junior bankers(which is in front of most of the office) I'm the same joker I was at university, even at 2am. We still fuck around a lot, however I can defend my work in front of an MD comfortably
That said, I think there is a a personality that is suited in banking and that is you have to be self assured - whether that is pure arrogance or just being super confident because at the end of the day you are going to get A LOT of shit in the job, so much is thrown at you. That's why you get a lot of douchebags in the industry.
Have I changed in my year at work? I think I'm probably becoming more impatient and I learning to not take as much shit from the Associates, I question things quite a lot more than I used to
The fact you are thinking about your career at college is something that the majority of your peers won't do.
Personality goes a long way. But we'd have to be talking about one charming, motherfucking pig before I eat bacon . . . .
Who cares what other people think...if you want to get into banking and it is your dream, go for it.
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