How to Convince Grandma I'm Ready

After 9 long weeks, my SA is about to come to a close.
I'm a rising junior interning in a top financial sponsors (think CS/MS/GS).

It has all gone well so far. I've developed a great relationship with my associates and staffer, had great reviews and performed well.
There's just one problem: One of the mds (who also happens to be my grandma) has seemed to make it her goal to ensure I don't get a return offer.
I don't know if she's pissed that I didn't go to her when looking for an SA in the first place or if she still hasn't forgiven my jewish father for marrying a catholic, but either way, it looks like I'm fucked.

Right now, it seems like my next best option is to try to get an SA next year at JPM where I have an alum who seems to be willing to pull for me. I'm worried however that JPM's group has gotten their name in leveraged finance and puts way too much of an emphasis on LF, when sponsors is what I really want to be doing.

Any advice?

 
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/company/goldman-sachs><abbr title=Goldman Sachs&#10;>GS</abbr></a></span>:
BTbanker:
Speaking of reasonable... Only 570.

HEY CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN!! IM TRYING TO DO DRUGS IN HERE

Sorry ... steroids.

I hate victims who respect their executioners
 
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/company/goldman-sachs><abbr title=Goldman Sachs&#10;>GS</abbr></a></span>:
You should go over to her place for shabbat , and talk it over.

Saturday, is Shabbos... that means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!

 
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/resources/skills/finance/going-concern>Going Concern</a></span>:
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/company/goldman-sachs><abbr title=Goldman Sachs&#10;>GS</abbr></a></span>:
You should go over to her place for shabbat , and talk it over.

Saturday, is Shabbos... that means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!

You're entering a world of pain

I hate victims who respect their executioners
 
BlackHat:
Going Concern:
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/company/goldman-sachs><abbr title=Goldman Sachs&#10;>GS</abbr></a></span>:
You should go over to her place for shabbat , and talk it over.

Saturday, is Shabbos... that means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!

You're entering a world of pain

HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO

 
Going Concern:
BlackHat:
Going Concern:
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/company/goldman-sachs><abbr title=Goldman Sachs&#10;>GS</abbr></a></span>:
You should go over to her place for shabbat , and talk it over.

Saturday, is Shabbos... that means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!

You're entering a world of pain

HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO

You pull any of ur crazy shit with us... u flash a piece out on the lanes... I’ll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fuckin trigger til it goes "click."

I hate victims who respect their executioners
 
BlackHat:
Going Concern:
BlackHat:
Going Concern:
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/company/goldman-sachs><abbr title=Goldman Sachs&#10;>GS</abbr></a></span>:
You should go over to her place for shabbat , and talk it over.

Saturday, is Shabbos... that means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!

You're entering a world of pain

HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO

You pull any of ur crazy shit with us... u flash a piece out on the lanes... I’ll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fuckin trigger til it goes "click."

Jesus.

 
Best Response
Going Concern:
BlackHat:
Going Concern:
BlackHat:
Going Concern:
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/company/goldman-sachs><abbr title=Goldman Sachs&#10;>GS</abbr></a></span>:
You should go over to her place for shabbat , and talk it over.

Saturday, is Shabbos... that means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!

You're entering a world of pain

HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO

You pull any of ur crazy shit with us... u flash a piece out on the lanes... I’ll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fuckin trigger til it goes "click."

Jesus.

You said it man. NOBODY FUCKS WITH DA JESUS

I hate victims who respect their executioners
 
the magnum:
reformed:

It's been 2 years and my grandma has since retired.
Do I stand a chance at lateraling or should I look elsewhere?

I've kept in touch with a number of former coworkers and feel like we have a good relationship.

lol what? so you did not get a return offer but were able to get into another group at another bank?

Is that really that uncommon?

 

Exercitationem minima et dicta sit. Hic occaecati velit ea. Mollitia iste consequuntur eveniet fugiat adipisci in. Ea perspiciatis aut sequi porro porro.

Dolor consequatur est animi sed modi ipsam illo error. Quisquam numquam sint natus ut omnis maxime. Nisi nulla expedita id nobis natus.

 

Exercitationem omnis ipsam voluptate sapiente facilis voluptatibus suscipit. Repellendus ut reprehenderit neque corporis reprehenderit eos. Ullam atque magnam aut libero. Qui exercitationem consequatur est beatae odit qui delectus atque.

Voluptatem qui aut et ipsa. Enim sit reiciendis totam quo temporibus illum qui. Dolorem facere rerum non magni non rerum aut. Omnis delectus facilis qui quidem accusamus. Doloremque neque a recusandae cumque et possimus eum.

Neque animi atque animi eius corporis eum ipsa. Nemo et quo ea maxime. Iure quis est repellendus voluptatem est et inventore sapiente. Laborum reprehenderit et nulla molestias dicta illo eaque.

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (87) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (146) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
6
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
numi's picture
numi
98.8
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”