Ok, I'm in a goofy mood today, so that's gonna reflect in this week's Bananas:
1) Lab technician arrested after he is found drunk with his pants down... surrounded by monkeys (Daily Mail) - Did somebody forget to mention this WSO Conference after-party? Sounds like shit got out of hand...
2) Verizon Vacation Blackout Reveals The New iPhone Will Launch On Friday, September 21 (TechCrunch) - Looks like a date for the rumored launch of the iPhone 5 next month has been nailed down based on a vacation blackout for Verizon employees. Here's hoping Verizon has an employee suicide hotline set up for hipster fatigue.
3) Obese woman loses weight through marathon sex (NY Daily News) - NOPE NOPE NOPE
4) The Costanza Trade: Why the Market Is Irrational & What You Can Do About It (Yahoo! Finance) - Is this the most hated rally of all time? Is the market gearing up for a face-ripping decline? Meh. Buy what you know.
5) The 15 college majors with the biggest payoffs (Fortune) - You might be surprised to find that a finance-related discipline doesn't hit the list until #13 (Economics) and #14 (Financial Management). No big surprise that engineering degree holders are the most sought-after grads in today's market. What does a liberal arts degree get you? According to the next link, a shovel:
6) Trading caps and gowns for mops (MarketWatch) - Wow. Who knew that degree in Women's Studies with a minor in Victorian Literature was gonna pay off with a job at McDonald's? Ummm...everybody. Wake up, hipsters.
7) Mom Arrested For Beating Child Molester W/ Baseball Bat (93.7 The Arrow) - You screw with my kid, I'm gonna hit you in the head with a bat. Makes perfect sense to me. I'm betting the cops arrested her just so everybody back at the station could High Five her.
8) To the woman that crapped in my car - m4w - 26 (Craigslist) - This guy sounds like a keeper. If he's willing to give a girl a second chance after she drops a deuce in his front seat, he's probably also willing to overlook multiple abortions, genital warts, and a psycho ex-boyfriend scheduled for parole next month. Who says all of the good ones are taken?
9) Flash Harry fears: Pictures of naked prince at boozy 'strip party' with six women spark security alert (Mirror) - Straight. Baller. Harry is just the epitome of the playboy prince. Who would ever want to be king when being second in line is this much fun? He's an inspiration to gingers the world over.
10) Nerd builds device that turns off ANY TV (YouTube) - This was actually in the running for Video of the Week. This is some pretty obnoxious and epic IRL trolling. I could have a lot of fun with a device like this. Soccer fans in my neighborhood go apeshit when somebody breaks a nail on the field (sorry, the "pitch"). Imagine the fights I could start with this thing.
Video of the Week:
Every summer needs an end-of-summer anthem, and I think we have a winner. A big hat tip to the crew over at Bro Bible for finding this gem. The song is All Night Longer by Sammy Adams and this video was made by a fan before the official video was released. There is just no way to be in a bad mood after watching this:
The official video isn't bad either:
That's it for this week, fellas. Have a great weekend and, as always, let me know what you think of this week's Bananas in the comments.