DOW Drops 1,000 Points - Saves Eddie's Bacon

When I went to walk my dogs this morning I noticed that my wife had pinned a "Kick Me" sign to my back. Then I remembered today is options expiration day. Those adorable DXD calls that held so much promise just a month ago will be going to their eternal reward today, as worthless as my first two marriages.

Consider this my mea culpa, you jackals. The much ballyhooed Hindenburg Omen turned out to be a dud (just wait - the market probably tanks on Monday now that my options have expired). So, for any and all of you monkeys who may have joined me in this attempt to push a common sense rock up the mountain of fake money printed by the Fed, you have my condolences. We'll get 'em next time.

Now, those of you who decided to participate in the silver trade I recommended around the same time are dancing. The January 2012 SLV 20 Calls are at $6 apiece, up 72% from our $3.50 entry price. I expect this one bright spot is my only shot at redemption with the lovely Mrs. Braverman this weekend.

And that, my friends, is why we trade options. Whether you're right or wrong, at least you know right away.

Have a great weekend, fellas, and remember to read your Playboy. And if any of my fat-fingered brethren out there feels like hitting the wrong button and pulling Uncle Eddie's fat out of the fire before the options expire this afternoon, I'd be much obliged. Just a tiny flash crash will do. Really.

 

Ed, I doubt your wife will be able to get to upset what with the mention in Playboy and dealbreaker this week. Can't win 'em all.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

It's sitting next to my desk in a bag but I am hesitant to pull it out (no pun intended) and read it at the office. I am sure someone will get back to you before I will

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 
Best Response

Edmundo don't you see? This is the perfect opportunity to profit from your new found internet fame. You reply to your bank thread with one letter: "C".

Then I quietly remove my funds from Citibank to another bank, every one else follows suit, the trend catches fire online, and when the pleebs read about Citi bank's issues, they go to the bank tomorrow to find they cannot get their money out because they were too late. Boom! Citi has a toe tag and Jamie Dimon fears you. Ever had a blowjob from Brian Moynihan? You could! You'd be doing interviews on every major news station and people would wait on pins and needles waiting for what you say next.

All of this of course scares the market into free for all and you profit nicely from your trade, well worth the global meltdown in my mind. You have the potential to be a powerful man behind the curtain.

 

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