How To Write Like Your Not a Moron
I might sound like a ball buster with this post, but bear with me (yes, bear with me - not bare with me- I have even less interest in seeing you naked than - not then - you have in seeing me naked). This is something that needs to be said. The English language is a beautiful thing, and the Internet is killing it.
Typos are one thing. We all make mistakes, and when your (not you're) fingers are fat enough to send the Dow crashing 1,000 points, misspellings are the least of your worries. No one is going to give you crap about the occasional typo.
The same cannot be said about intentional carelessness. Every modern Internet browser that I'm aware of offers real-time in-line spell checking. If you're using Firefox or Chrome, a big, ugly red line shows up under every word you misspell. How much time does it take to correct it? If you're trying to make an important point about a serious topic, a bevy of misspellings only detracts from your argument.
I know it's easy to dismiss this as being "only" an Internet forum, and spelling and grammar aren't important in this venue. I'd be hard pressed to disagree. But you have to wonder if the bad habits are bleeding over to your corporate communications. It's not likely that someone would tell you. More likely, your boss or co-workers will just think you don't give a shit, or worse - that you're a moron.
I'll admit, as a writer it's a pet peeve of mine. But come on, guys. The other day someone was wondering if they had the metal to withstand the hours of investment banking. The metal? Really?? The word you're looking for is mettle, Ace, unless you're referring to the steel plate in your head. You guys pay a lot of money for those fancy degrees from target schools. How about showcasing a little of that grammar and usage training?
Alright, I'm off my soapbox and ready to provide you a solution. There is a browser extension called After the Deadline that might be the answer you're looking for. It not only corrects spelling, it corrects grammar and makes suggestions about usage. It'll even tell you when you're being cliché. The best part? It's free:
After the Deadline for Firefox
Here's a video demonstration:
Hopefully this helps you not only in your WSO forum life, but also in your professional and personal life. You might think using proper English is a small thing, but many people do not. You don't want to sound like an idiot.
And for those who want to kick it old school and actually learn proper grammar, I recommend Strunk and White's Elements of Style. However, in this modern day and age, there is an even better text on the subject. By far the best book written on grammar in the past decade is Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing.
We would all do better to pay closer attention to what we write. There really is a perfect word for everything. If your going to right, you might as well sound like you no what your doing.
Comments
Edmundo, read your title.
Edmundo, read your title.
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embarrassing really "If
embarrassing really
"If you're trying to make an important point about a serious topic, a bevy of misspellings only detracts from your argument."
SAC wrote: Edmundo, read your
Edmundo, read your title.
I think it's intentional. It's probably in the same vein of the T-shirt that reads "YOUR RETARDED."
I hope the title mistake is
I hope the title mistake is intentionally ironic-- it must be well above the rest of us mortals unable to understand grammar and spelling :P
But in all seriousness, his advice is very practical and an often overlooked problem. I agreed with 100% of what he said up until he recommended something called "Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing". Sorry, credibility gone.
my not a moron?
my not a moron?
i know for a fact that ken
i know for a fact that ken lewis made at least 659 typos per email whilst drunk, and 662 per email on the rare occasions he hadn't already polished off a case of Boone's Farm before lunchtime (less than a case before lunchtime= hillbilly sober)
his emails looked somewhat like this:
dfahsghg rtujofg ]xcljv 4r pualson jdfdfh merril lyancnh nogud dfkjdslfjakidhfk arghhhhrfgdsf
that's the primary reason Dennis Kucinich mistakenly accused poor, hapless, sober-at-the-time Ken of perjury at congressional question time.
I applaud you, sir.
I applaud you, sir.
Wall Street leaders now understand that they made a mistake, one born of their innocent and trusting nature. They trusted ordinary Americans to behave more responsibly than they themselves ever would, and these ordinary Americans betrayed their trust.
I agree with the comments,
I agree with the comments, but it goes beyond spelling and grammar. One of the biggest failings I see in junior staff is the ability to write punchy, coherent correspondence that gets the key issues across to the audience. The majority of people either waffle on and talk a lot of spurious crap, or omit key details. The net result is that they often simply fail to get their massage across. I actually spend a significant amount of my time editing the writing of junior people.
Aussie Banker wrote: The net
The net result is that they often simply fail to get their massage across. I actually spend a significant amount of my time editing the writing of junior people.
Thats eh reel shame... we won't want junior people to ms. that not in you're back.
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you need to learn your
you need to learn your Latin...
Assiduus usus uni rei deditus et ingenium et artem saepe vincit
whateverittakes wrote: SAC
Edmundo, read your title.
I think it's intentional. It's probably in the same vein of the T-shirt that reads "YOUR RETARDED."
Okay, at least one guy got it...
time spent on internet has an
time spent on internet has an indirect relationship with grammar skillz
Aussie Banker wrote: I agree
I agree with the comments, but it goes beyond spelling and grammar. One of the biggest failings I see in junior staff is the ability to write punchy, coherent correspondence that gets the key issues across to the audience. The majority of people either waffle on and talk a lot of spurious crap, or omit key details. The net result is that they often simply fail to get their massage across. I actually spend a significant amount of my time editing the writing of junior people.
That's why I'm actually a fan of texting and Twitter (caveat: as long as you're using proper English and not retarded Net-speak). Limiting thoughts to 140 characters forces an economy of language that demands you come to the point and make it clearly.
I actually use a program that measures the reading difficulty of the stuff I write and then gives me a Flesch Reading Ease Score. On the first go-round, I usually score pretty high (which means it is difficult for average readers to understand). Luckily, the program then helps me dumb it down to a 6th Grade reading level for the Yale kids.
Besides being a trader, I
Besides being a trader, I also write for a major publication, and poor English upsets me, so I side with Edmundo on this.
Besides using "spell check," and "grammar check," you can follow a few simple rules to make yourself seem literate.
1.) Semi-colons are not "super commas," so don't throw them around like you're writing in code.
2.) Learn common homonyms. "They're" and "their" don't mean the same thing.
3.) Learn how to construct appropriate contractions. "She's" means "she is," not "she has."
4.) Succinctness and eloquence are your goals in writing, not wordiness and abstraction. Get to the point, and make it like you've thought it out before scribbling it in crayon.
5.) Big words are not always better words. Sometimes, difficult diction is used to mask the frailties of a poor argument. And most of the time, it isolates your audience.
6.) Try to avoid writing in passive voice.
7.) Try to avoid ending sentences in prepositions.
8.) Write the way you speak. Good writing sounds like a good conversation with an intelligent person in your reader's mind. Most of the time, your goal--at least in business--is to sound moderately intelligent, so try to write that way.
9.) Short sentences are easier to read and flow better than long ones. If you want your reader to read something quickly, if you want them to feel more involved in the story, use shorter sentences with easier words. Hemmingway made a career of it.
10.) Read a fucking book. Good writers borrow from great writers. Great writers steal outright from other greats. If you never read anything written by someone smarter or better educated than you, of course you'll write badly.
11.) You do things 'badly.' You are 'bad.' Learn the difference, or sound retarded.
12.) Know your audience. Who's reading your work? What are they looking to get out of it?
^^^ Bravo, sir. Couldn't have
^^^ Bravo, sir. Couldn't have said it better. Silver banana to you.
brotherbear wrote: Besides
Obviously, the active vs.
personally i draw the line at
=========================================
"... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
Edmundo, 1 GFY 2 Thanks for
Edmundo Braverman
looking for that pick-me-up to power through an all-nighter?
brotherbear wrote: Besides
looking for that pick-me-up to power through an all-nighter?
LeatherPantz1
camspin wrote: I agreed with
12:00 AM and little typos
Double-post.
Work hard, play hard.
beastly214 wrote: People do
Work hard, play hard.
lols funy post i will not
fhurricane wrote: lols funy
Work hard, play hard.
Great post. I wonder if they
This should work in
LeatherPantz1
for some reason, my biggest
The written/verbal usage of
Affirmative_Action_Walrus
I have to agree. There is
rebelcross
I've got to say, my biggest
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HA! Cool. I was wondering if
memento wrote: brotherbear
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drexelalum11 wrote: I've got
Work hard, play hard.
I'm a consultant. The reader
@ edmundo. i think it's a
I love the Firefox add-on,
drexelalum11 wrote: memento
Affirmative_Action_Walrus
Work hard, play hard.
Affirmative_Action_Walrus
The add-on is excellent!
Very important post,
Author of Polished and former CEO of the Boston Options Exchange, Managing Director at Goldman Sachs, and campus recruiter.
www.PolishedU.com, www.GetHiredBlog.blogspot.com
Whichever mod just attempted
The use of "I could care
See my other WSO blog posts>