Investment Bankers on Craigslist? 
(Monkey, 36 
Points) on 4/16/08 at 5:15pm
Why are there so many posts by male bankers on Craigslist? I could sort of understand it if the dudes were looking for NSAs or to be sugar daddies - but from a quick scan of the M4Ws...there's a ton of 27, 28, 29 yr old bankers who describe themselves at Ivy League educated, Tall, Wall Streer-ers looking for girlfriends. Maybe they're all secretly sumo wrestling size, but assuming they're baseline attractive, what gives?
______________
"I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?"
(1 vote)
lack of free time
by iambatemanlack of free time
workin, you looking for a
by iambatemanworkin, you looking for a date?
bateman, are
by workingirlbateman, are you?
____________
"I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?"
"I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?"
somebody is aggressive...
by triadelectionsomebody is aggressive...
but seriously - there are SO
by workingirlbut seriously - there are SO many "ivy league bankers on CL" and that's so easily verified that i assume people aren't blatantly lying about it. has anyone here ever posted? known someone who has? can you actually meet quality people via CL? if you can't even trust it to find an apartment, it surprises me that people attempt to find SO's using it...
___________
"I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?"
"I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?"
Probably a (in your words..)
by sleepisfortheweakProbably a (in your words..) sumo wrestling size dude trying to get pics/date/contact info of attractive women.
Faking identity as a banker is probably a better bait than any other profession.
I put a post on
by b2I put a post on craiglist, but I wasn't really looking for a date... I just like to write for fun:
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/m4w/635733705.html
...you wouldn't believe the number of idiotic responses I've gotten from different girls.
I think the post expires tomorrow.
post
by BSD123post the actual post. Most people can't click on that at work.
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Either you sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot
Here's what b2
by aachimpHere's what b2 posted:
Hello,
ABOUT YOU:
You are a young and good-looking girl. The parental abuse that you incurred as a child has left you emotionally distant and sexually repressed. You are able to sustain months (years?) of loneliness because you shudder at the thought of human interaction. You have a constant feeling of inadequacy leading to excessive hours on the elliptical machine (and, accordingly, a nicely toned bum). I might do stuff to you while you are sleeping at 4AM (when I finally get home from the office), but, other than that, our sex-life will be nonexistent. Naive girls who have been in long-distance relationships and have had their hearts broken by guys who perpetually cheated are more than welcome to email me; I promise that I'm different.
ABOUT ME:
I am a first year analyst at a bulge-bracket investment bank; this means that I'm either Jewish, Asian, or from old-money (and, therefore, connected up the wazoo). Given that this post is (hopefully) grammatically correct, coherently legible, and satirically palatable, I'd like to think that I got into banking based on merits associated with my intelligence; therefore, I'm probably not from old money and am not connected up the wazoo (sorry).
I got into banking as a result of an overwhelming abundance of insecurities. I went to a top-tiered and prestigious undergraduate university, yet, have always felt inferior to the Harvardites and Princetonians that surround me. I'm likely either short and socially outcasted (with excellent kung-fu skills) or schnoz-nosed and unable to date, as every girl I meet in Manhattan is a UES slut that reminds me of my mother.
I go to the gym every morning, as my unnecessarily ambitious and secretively compensating type-A personality forces me to always strive for the best. That, and also the endorphins released from the exercise keep me elated enough to prevent attempting suicide for at least 24 hours.
I approach dating as I do anything else; as a strict meritocracy where I compete to win. At bars, I won't tell girls that I'm a banker; I feel that it would be unfair to take a girl home by playing the pity card ("Oh, you work in banking? I feel so bad for you. Fine, I guess I'll sleep with you."). I'll likely say that I'm a math teacher at the Dalton School (my Jewish/Asian heritage helps me here) so that girls realize that I'm piss-poor (as are all my other analyst buddies, despite what we tell our family and friends back home) but have Epstein potential.
My interests include playing brickbreaker on my blackberry, romantic dinners expensed to my firm, and finding novel ways to entertain myself during late-night hours (posting personal ads on Craigslist at 3AM - FUN; getting head from you while you hide under my desk - PROBABLY FUNNER).
If you fit my description (and God help you if you do...) feel free to email me. Pictures of boobs (yours or random ones you find on the internet) would be helpful to include in the email. As I'm posting this with my work email address, I'm hoping to get lucky enough that some back-office rat finds the inappropriate content during a routine inbox sweep, so that I can finally be liberated from this relentless world of superficial elitism. I'm talking about the old-money guys.
b2 post some of the
by aachimpb2 post some of the responses you got.
I've found that the public
by b2I've found that the public really just doesn't share my sense of humor... I write satire for The Onion and it's always been well received, but whenever I try to extrapolate that same writing style to target the general public, the humor often goes undetected. This craigslist post is the third time I've tested the waters outside of The Onion, using an Onionish writing style, and, judging from the responses I've gotten, maybe 2 or 3 out of the dozen or so girls actually understood the post.
You know, women who frequent
by kingbYou know, women who frequent AND reply to the "M4F" section of craigslist probably aren't out there to enjoy some witty satire. Seriously though... I once tried to sell a digital camera on craigslist and had a fair share of crazy people write back, I can't imagine what it's like for the dating section.
b2, you have a gift. Keep on
by triadelectionb2, you have a gift. Keep on writing.
Because everything on the internet is true
by dosk17Craigslist, btw, is almost entirely crazy people. I've looked for housing before on there and encountered a fair number of people who should be in the asylum. I'd be afraid to even think about using it for dating purposes, you would end up with... who knows what. Animals? Inanimate objects replying? With Craigslist, I wouldn't rule anything out....
On a serious note, I think lately there have been a ton of banker impersonators posting there because of that one pretty widely circulated banker Craigslist post a few months ago.
http://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/
Mergers & Inquisitions
http://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/
Mergers & Inquisitions
b2
by McMoThat is amazing please post responses.
b2 -- nicely done!! please
by numib2 -- nicely done!! please share some responses
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Classic
by slickmacClassic
b2 deserves a column on wso
by Cestb2 deserves a column on wso
actually working on this :)
by WallStreetOasis.comb2 deserves a column on wso
already on it....
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b2's post just got a link
by smuguy97b2's post just got a link from DB:
http://dealbreaker.com/
Interesting... that's not my
by b2Interesting... that's not my post. Someone copied and pasted what I wrote verbatim. F'ing plagiarism...
b2, C'mon, post some
by sleepisfortheweakb2,
C'mon, post some responses.
1
by broadandwallhk
h
by broadandwallj
also, btw, you will only
by broadandwallalso, btw, you will only meet psychos on CL, so fuck-buddy material only, and use a rubber for god-sake!@!!
Just when I was getting
by Summer Analyst 08Just when I was getting excited to start...
Oh how I love CL
by LizzieJaneCraigslist, btw, is almost entirely crazy people. I've looked for housing before on there and encountered a fair number of people who should be in the asylum. I'd be afraid to even think about using it for dating purposes, you would end up with... who knows what. Animals? Inanimate objects replying? With Craigslist, I wouldn't rule anything out....
Hahaha...a few years ago my boss introduced me to CL around the time I was looking for a roommate. I was so very naive and completely unaware of what I was getting myself into. I moved in with a girl I met from the roommate listings and about 2 weeks later I realized that she was f-ing NUTS. Like totally and completely, certifiably insane.
I moved out 8 months early.
Grammatical error...
by vindicatedFUNNER isn't a word. It should be MORE FUN.
...
by smuguy97FUNNER isn't a word. It should be MORE FUN.
I hope this is a joke.
The grammatical error was clearly intentional.
b2
by darealest1b2 please post some of the response!
The power
by AlphaholicCraigslist is quite possibly the only place you can post a listing for a used couch, and get back requests to meet up for random sex.
why?
by BSD123Do you happen to have a couch I can have sex with? Just wondering...
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Either you sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot
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Either you sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot
b2, I wanna see those
by newbie2bankingb2, I wanna see those responses... It's been a long day, and I could really do with some humor right about now...
more info please!
by numiHahaha...a few years ago my boss introduced me to CL around the time I was looking for a roommate. I was so very naive and completely unaware of what I was getting myself into. I moved in with a girl I met from the roommate listings and about 2 weeks later I realized that she was f-ing NUTS. Like totally and completely, certifiably insane.
I moved out 8 months early.
sounds like there's a good story behind this. care to share?
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