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5/30/14

1. When you're meeting someone for the first time who's in every single one of your classes and obviously knows who you are, and he asks "aren't you in my class?" with a straight expression on his face. You know you're in my class, stfu.

2. People who write letters on their facebook statuses addressed to people that will never see it (eg. Dear cashier at Safeway on isle 6, next time don't blah blah). Grow a pair and say it to their face you fucking pansy.

3. People who pronounce their "r"s very strongly. It's literally the reason why I can't listen to the WSJ podcast (Gina Cervetti). It makes me want to throwup.

4. Reddit

5. Behavioral interviews and some of the dumbass questions they ask you like "when was the last time you faced a challenge?" I realize that the whole point is just to see if you can communicate (and bs) well, but seriously? You've got to be fucking kidding me. Those kinds of questions almost make me not want to work there.

6. Useless circle-jerk clubs/organizations that don't actually do anything besides electing each other to "leadership" positions.

7. How it's generally considered "insensitive" to ask your high-school or college friend that's working some temporary shit job (eg. flipping burgers, cashier) and doesn't plan to make a career out of it how much he's getting paid.

8. People who major in "Communications"

I can't think anymore at the moment. List out all the random things that piss you off.

Comments (502)

In reply to GoldenCinderblock
5/15/14

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In reply to MTx_2012
5/15/14

MTx_2012:

Who = I agree w/ ya.


News to me, but okay chief

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

5/15/14

Metro North man, Metro North. Tired of being late every day, tired of a complete lack of accountability, tired of the attitude.

I literally just watched a train take off 5 minutes early with no warning, pushed a woman who got caught off guard in the doorway onto the train, and kicked her stupid roller bag in too. The train conductor even got left off- this was an error on someone's part.

Went up to the window to talk shit,and the guy pushed back, said it "didn't happen"... Told him a lady almost fell off onto the tracks and he closed his little window. Told him to eat shit, asked his name so I could get him fired, had two "security guards" approach me, told them to eat shit, announced "Fuck Metro North" and went on my way. Cop followed me and asked what happened, and he was just like "IDK man". I don't know either, man, pretty sure they could make things just a little safer.

/rant, sorry

"That dude is so haole, he don't even have any breath left."

5/15/14

haha number 1.

I hate the processes in my school. Everything they do has you wait for days at a time. And how laid back they are. I went to career services for IB advice and internships. She directed me to a job searching website and told me "if you think you don't have what it takes or it's too hard there are always other options".

ugh..I don't know whether to be angry or feel sorry for her.

5/19/14

This girl I'm banging always wants the lights off. What's the deal with that shit. And she won't let me choke her.

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

5/19/14

@"VikrumBandit"

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

5/19/14

- People who love EDM / Those who seek out new jam to make sure they are the first who showed you; Also, not afraid to make sure that everyone else knows that they showed you.

- Corporations that love the idea of integrating social media into all other channels. I'm not going to Shazam your commercial to be redirected to your website nor will I use a #Hashtag to get involved in your brand? Like why?

- People who are intensely adamant about something for no legitimate reason. Please just tell me why it's going to kill you if we take a certain street or why drinking 2% as opposed to 1% is going to ruin your day.

- Middle America's infatuation with consumer technology. My second novel would be on this one.

- Shitty, mid-budget action movies. They are awful. Who the fuck still patronizes Arnold and Sylvester? How?

- McDonalds cutting off breakfast at 10:30AM. I'm hungover and broke, give me a break.

- Tracy Morgan, George Lopez, Kevin Hart and Gabriel Iglesias. They're awful.

- Latina/Indian women who don't shave their moustaches (peach fuzz under nose). You've known about it since 7th grade, how do you continue to live as is?

- Shitty, scripted television that sells as "reality television". Pretty much anything that has taken over the History Channel and AE Network

- The slow, steady demise of rap. Third Novel.

- When Ice/Water features don't work on a friend's refrigerator. Guess I'm going to have to help myself to a nice, stale glass of tap water...

- When people press me to laugh at their pets "silly" antics. I'll be friendly with your pet but understand that I care about 5% of what you do towards your animal. Maybe my sense of humor can't comprehend how hilarious it is when your dog chews on my shit, steps on my nuts and humps my leg?

- Dog hair on my clothes. I'll never, ever get all the hairs off before I leave.

- Burnt/old coffee at coffee shops. You've got ONE FUCKING JOB! Of course I'm going to finish that coffee but I'm going to fucking spite the bastard who sold it to me after every sip.

5/20/14

@Deadline
-Info on your first novel?

-Why is everybody hating on EDM these days? I don't even really know what separates EDM from other electronicey music like Daft Punk, but if it sounds good, who cares..

-Agreed on McDonald's breakfast. I'd eat that shit at any hour of the day so what the fuck.

-You're not as broke as you say you are if your fridge makes ice automatically. Leaky kitchen sink is where it's at.

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

In reply to GoldenCinderblock
5/20/14

I had those exact same concerns about that list.

5/20/14

getting a drop of piss on freshly drycleaned slacks.

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

5/21/14

Being the fucking great guy I am, I decided to take Xanax and Ketamine last night with some girl I met on Tinder and stayed up all night. I look like a zombie and I have a team meeting at 9am. I need to start acting like the person I envision my future self to be. He does not do Ketamine on work nights with strange hippie chicks. Fuck do I need to get my shit together.

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

In reply to GoldenCinderblock
5/21/14

GoldenCinderblock:

@deadline

-Info on your first novel?

-Why is everybody hating on EDM these days? I don't even really know what separates EDM from other electronicey music like Daft Punk, but if it sounds good, who cares..

-Agreed on McDonald's breakfast. I'd eat that shit at any hour of the day so what the fuck.

-You're not as broke as you say you are if your fridge makes ice automatically. Leaky kitchen sink is where it's at.

- Edited my list and decided that I didn't want to post my that specific bullet.

- Not necessarily hate for the genre itself but more so the second-hand culture it has developed in the US.

-

- I gotta have ice in my water, just keep the ice maker on for your boy.

5/21/14

Analysts and associates whose only talent is ctrl+c then ctrl+v

Those who can, do. Those who can't, post threads about how to do it on WSO.

In reply to SSits
5/21/14

I can also alt-e-s-v (f) if I want to be really fancy.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.

In reply to Dedline
5/22/14

Dedline:
Not necessarily hate for the genre itself but more so the second-hand culture it has developed in the US.

I'll agree to that!
5/23/14

-When you go to take a shit and the handycap stall is occupied. Fucking crippled
*Aside: Sometimes, there's newspapers in there. Don't these people know about Tinder?

-When you go to shit and there's piss on the seat.

-When you forget to wear antiperspirant and went out drinking the night prior

-When you've temporarily exhausted the Tinder pool

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

5/23/14

- Splashback at the urinal.

- Fat people who breathe heavily while eating, actually anybody who breathes heavily while eating

- Buffering netflix

- Inability to spell correctly and/or use proper grammar in a professional email or document

- Men who utilize the stall to take a piss when there are several perfectly good urinals readily available

- People who say "Happy hump day" every god damn Wednesday

In reply to monkeypoo
5/23/14

monkeypoo:

- Splashback at the urinal.

- Fat people who breathe heavily while eating, actually anybody who breathes heavily while eating

- Buffering netflix

- Inability to spell correctly and/or use proper grammar in a professional email or document

- Men who utilize the stall to take a piss when there are several perfectly good urinals readily available

- People who say "Happy hump day" every god damn Wednesday


-Agreed. Where is the optimal spot to aim at? I usually try to alight my stream so it's parallel with the side of the urinal.

-You should be pirating your shit. It's downright quicker and easier. No buffering too

-sure w/e

-Some homies have small weenies and are ashamed. Show some goddamn compassion

-Give those people a quick hump. act like it's standard procedure

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

In reply to GoldenCinderblock
5/23/14

GoldenCinderblock:

monkeypoo:

- Splashback at the urinal.

- Fat people who breathe heavily while eating, actually anybody who breathes heavily while eating

- Buffering netflix

- Inability to spell correctly and/or use proper grammar in a professional email or document

- Men who utilize the stall to take a piss when there are several perfectly good urinals readily available

- People who say "Happy hump day" every god damn Wednesday

-Agreed. Where is the optimal spot to aim at? I usually try to alight my stream so it's parallel with the side of the urinal.

-You should be pirating your shit. It's downright quicker and easier. No buffering too

-sure w/e

-Some homies have small weenies and are ashamed. Show some goddamn compassion

-Give those people a quick hump. act like it's standard procedure

1) Parallel usually works best
2) Paranoid about that for job reasons
3) lol
4) 4 inches of fury!
5) Sound advice. Will convince a new person to try it first

5/23/14

I like to sit with my legs crossed (looks like you have no dick crossed), but I don't want anyone to see me. So I have to uncross every time I hear someone coming and it's lame.

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

5/23/14

When the light turns green but the jackass in front of you is taking a left so they have to wait for opposite traffic to pass before they can go. He finally gets through just as the light turns red again and you have to wait through another light cycle. Makes my blood boil.

"anyone who believes money is the root of all evil, doesn't have any"

5/23/14

My feet are cold and sweaty at the same time. fucking science

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

5/25/14

Undergrad business school

5/25/14

"Entrepreneurs" working under Vemma. #YRP bullshit

5/27/14

I was in a great mood from the time I woke up all the way through most of my 5 block walk to the office. Freestyled a bit in the shower, feeling good. Then, I see three giant "YOU ARE ALL SINNERS LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO JESUS BLABLA" signs up ahead. Fine, craycrays gonna cray.

I get closer and two dudes are in normal hippie clothes. Fine. One is wearing USMC cammies. I got so fucking mad. If he had name tapes on, I probably would have had to get my shirt dirty. Fucking little chocolate theif. All I did was tell him to die in a fire.

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

5/29/14

When you're at your desk and everything is seemingly normal. You had some turkey and a salad for dinner last night with a few glasses of scotch: nothing out of the ordinary. You had a nice breakfast of eggs with ham and veggies.

Then, suddenly, like South Park Satan himself poking his horney head out of the depths of hell.. you feel it.

It: That feeling that is the definition of inescapable, unmistakable anguish. You feel as if a small rattle snake ate a tarantula (which is still alive in its stomach and fighting furiously to get out), then slithered through broken beer bottles and into a teleporter which led it directly to your colon.

You know that the only solution is to evacuate your bowels like they were Chernobyl on April 26, 1986. You tactically power walk to the kitchen like a soccer mom at noon on a Sunday with 5 pound dumbbells strapped to her palms. You pour 3/4 a cup of black coffee and fill the rest with ice water; you do not have time to wait for the transfer of heat to run its course. The expression on your face is the same one the CIA trains its operatives to make if being interrogated.

Having downed two cups of watered down black coffee, you make for the restroom. The handycap stall is empty. Our first victory. You enter swiftly. The cripples can wait. They get the best parking spots. Let us have this one thing. They probably have the option of nonchalantly shitting in a bag anyway with toilets just being a luxury.

Both tarantulas and snakes can apparently go for a very long time without oxygen. Do your bowels have oxygen in them? Do spiders even breathe? You commit to looking into this later.

The toilet seat is clean: Another victory. You lay down four layers of toilet paper over the seat. You take off your pants, roll up your sleeves up past your elbows, unbutton your shirt down to your sternum, and grasp your phone with both hands. Gladiator music begins to play.

The waiting game begins. You can feel the serpent squirm, yet your exit port refuses to dilate. You begin to sympathize with pregnant women. At least they get a spinal tap. Or drugs if they're terrible people.

No progress yet. You have experienced about a dozen different sensations at this point. You wonder whether anybody has ever done a spinal tap with a MasterCard. This is added to your list of things to look into once you are free from the clutches of Nagini. Or rather, once it's free from yours.

You distract yourself by messaging stupid shit to fat girls you matched with four days ago on Tinder. One replies immediately. You inform her of your anguish.

As the minutes tick on, the dreadful sequence of quasi-alien sensations gradually decrease in intensity. You are relieved, but at the same time concerned as to what kind of nether beast resides inside of your body at this very moment. The armpits of your shirt are soaked. Fuck it. It can stay as long as it keeps quiet. All serpentine infractions will be forgiven so long as the sensations go away.

You feel comfortable enough to go back to your desk. After several deep breaths and a few more minutes of swiping right on Tinder, you muster the strength to get dressed. Right after wiping three times for good measure (both ass and brow).

As you walk back, you begin to feel ecstatic. Both the serpent and the spider are either dead and dormant. Soon, Brother Caffeine will do to your bowels what spinach does for Popeye. You look forward to the inevitable sensation of a shit ready to burst out of you with no resistance.

heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

In reply to GoldenCinderblock
5/29/14

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In reply to GoldenCinderblock
5/29/14

The WSO Advantage - Land Your Dream Job

Financial Modeling Training

IB Templates, M&A, LBO, Valuation.

Wall St. Interview Secrets Revealed

30,000+ sold & REAL questions.

Resume Help from Finance Pros

Land More Interviews.

Find Your Mentor

Realistic Mock Interviews.

5/30/14
In reply to HireUp212
5/30/14
5/30/14

"My name's Ralph Cox, and I'm from where ever's not gonna get me hit"

5/30/14

Teach a man to make a fire, he'll be warm for the night. But set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

5/30/14
5/30/14
5/30/14
In reply to GMG
5/30/14

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.

5/30/14

"Elections are a futures market for stolen property"

5/30/14

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier

5/30/14

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier

5/30/14

"Once bread becomes toast, it can never go back."

In reply to theparadox
5/30/14
5/30/14
In reply to Mr. Cheese
5/30/14
5/30/14

"Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money." - Mickey Bergman - Heist (2001)

5/30/14
5/30/14
5/30/14
5/30/14
In reply to alphaSledge
5/30/14

Death is certain; Life aint.

5/31/14
6/1/14
12/8/14

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