The God Damned French + Star Wars = WTF!
So... the French get THIS until March 1st in honor of Episode 1 being rereleased in 3D. Forgoing the fact that the new saga ruined Star Wars, I mean seriously, WTF! They get a Darth Vader (and they can't fucking spell it right too - Dark Vador, really? These idiots who called him Dark Vador have the same level of brain function as a mentally handicapped orangutan tripping face of large quantities of acid) edition Double Cheeseburger. I mean who the hell wants to go with a regular Jedi Burger when you can get all Darkside in the house. What the fuck man... how the hell can the French be one step ahead on this! God Damn It!






If I had an SB for those
If I had an SB for those tags...
the whole fucking star wars
the whole fucking star wars franchise was indeed ruined. too much emphasis on FX, stupid theories about metachlorion or whatever the fuck, and wrong pacing in chronology. here's how it should go
episode IV a new hope
episode V empire strikes black
episode VI the return of tha jedi
ok those were watchable, but it should begin
episode I: we start with anakin as a horny teenager trying to bang the natalie portman broad, forgot her name, unsuccessfully. one day while jacking off he discovers this force mojo thing. i'm not going to get into details but let's just say it is all about "hey ma no hands!" his evil impulses lead him to use this for petty crime until obi-1 steps in and scares him straight and brings him into the jedi fold. then we close with a morally ambiguous situation where he is a bit too brutal in the pursuit of justice and ends up causing more collateral damage than curtis lemay on a drunken bender. there is none of this trade war bullshit or that weird anteater looking thing that everyone hates. i forgot the name of it.
episode II: anakin is a full jedi now and is getting more ass than a fucking toilet seat. he is really enjoying this life but his swelling ego is starting to chafe obi-1 and there is a lot of friction between them. in a battle with the sith anakin cuts out on obi-1 to go for, i don't know, the sith grand wizard or whatever, getting obi-1 nearly killed. this really puts them over the edge and obi-1 puts anakin up to get booted from the jedi. as all this is happening amidala (now i remember( is really getting wet in the knickers for him, because ladies, admit it, you luvv the bad boyz. they start a thing, and even though anakin is borderline, it is the discovery of this illicit romance that puts him on the outs with the jedi council.
episode III: anakin joins up with a sith crew led by a plodding and unambitious sith named frank. his first task is to go down to a remote planet to secure a buy of a few ki's of allspice. he ends up buying way more allspice than frank is willing to handle and they fall out. frank has got weight on him because anakin greased some whacked out wookies for him at the sun-ray hotel and puts the heat on. anakin turns around an assassination attempt, kills frank, and takes over the whole crew. then he goes on an intergalactic killing ramapge, killing every jedi he can find. finally he duels it out with obi-1 in the same way that lucas shot episode III (this is the ONE thing he did right, for god's sake). anakin breaks the cardinal rule of not getting high on his own supply (of allspice) and gets cut up bad. amidala dies of grief in childbirth. and then we cut to the new hope.
there you go lucas now you have a real saga.
If you have some free
If you have some free time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBhi6qqFLA&feature...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1MqksXm6Zs&feature...
looking for that pick-me-up to power through an all-nighter?
Euroazn, all of the tags read
Euroazn, all of the tags read as follows:
France
french
Darth Vader
Did I mention that I fucking HATE the god damned French
Episode 1
Episode 1 Destroyed all that is right in the world
Episode 1 Ruined Star Wars
Fuck the New Star Wars Trilogy (Episodes 1, 2 and 3) and I hope they rot in Hell
God Damned George Lucas
God I hate the French
Jar Jar Binks must die
Limited Edition Hamburger
LUCKY SOBs
Star Wars
The Original Saga For the Win - None of this Bullshit emo Aniken Skywalker Crap
What the fuck was George Lucas Smoking when he made this movie?
WTF!
Libor, that's freaking awesome.
As to Star Wars, all I need to say is there is no fucking reason Greedo should ever shoot first. Original Trilogy Only. Pre-'97, None of this Special Edition ILM update rerelease bullshit. We're talking the three films released in 1977, 1980 and 1983 only. That is the only Trilogy. The only way to watch the Original Trilogy is in 2:40:1 in 7.2 Surround Sound to fully appreciate the experience.
SB to LIBOR, such fucking
SB to LIBOR, such fucking funny, and accurate, reviews.
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Agreed, love this thread
Agreed, love this thread
Good is the enemy of Great
better than complete first
better than complete first trilogy
|| But feeling good and enjoying life are prerequisites to success, not by products of it- Midas Mulligan Magoo ||
LIBOR wrote: If you have some
If you have some free time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBhi6qqFLA&feature...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1MqksXm6Zs&feature=related
priceless. I hate the three prequels so much.
SB for the tags alone, I
SB for the tags alone, I haven't laughed that hard in ages and I have a sore fucking throat right now dammit.
A lot of people do certain things to add days to their life. I do things to add life to my days.
Im going to have to agree...I
Im going to have to agree...I fucking HATE Jar-Jar Binks...worst character in any movie ever.
I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
wait, his name isnt Dark
wait, his name isnt Dark Vador?
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