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How to Build F'ing Amazing Decks for a BSD
 

bankerella's picture
IB
(King Kong, 1,863
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 12:47pm
focus-on-main-points.jpg

I gotta say, my life has improved dramatically since I got to the point where I could control much of the messaging my team produces.

Before I go any further, huge caveat: this is completely culture-specific and audience-specific. There are some groups out there that would hand me my walking papers for doing this. And I don’t think there’s a single firm on the street that would have let me get away with this as an analyst. Fortunately, my audience (the folks who collectively determine how much I can make) is full of guys that are terse and no-nonsense but ultimately friendly. They’re the kind of guys who pull triggers.

Also, from the day I developed this strategy, I took a solid month to gauge the attitude of the audience very carefully before I did anything. I also took care to build credibility and support with the right people first.

And then....

I cut the bullshit talk. I cut the bullshit slides. I cut the bullshit models. I cut content, I cut iterations. I cut my hours and my team’s hours. I waited for someone to take me aside and give me “the talk”, but no one did. So here’s what the new era of my life looks like.

First, I don’t stick pages of goddamned model printout in front of people. They have no time to waste on looking at a page of fifty numbers and trying to figure out which one is important. Fuck that. That’s why we bring the analyst, and that’s why the analyst brings his laptop. We can deep dive in real time if we need to.

However, it’s a funny thing: people only want to deep dive on the fifty little numbers if you show them the fifty little numbers. I know you’re proud of it, but learn to keep it in your pocket, son, and whip it out only when it’s asked for.

Second, I stop iterating on the model when it’s clear it works and it’s close enough for now. This is because all models are always wrong. So I don’t want the poor bastard staying up until 2 AM tonight to rewrite one company’s financials pro forma for another company’s fiscal year end date. I want him resting up so he’s ready to roll when a fire drill comes down the pipe tomorrow.

Oh, and currency fluctuations? Fuck that shit. As far as I’m concerned, there has only ever been one exchange rate, and that’s today’s rate. One rate. Done. Moving on.

Third, I don’t ever stick anything in front of anybody just to prove we did the work. You want to see proof, it’s in the appendix. After a few iterations of this, where we prove we know what the fuck we’re talking about, people typically just start to trust us.

I never stuff the slides full of smart-sounding shit. Our track record proves we’re smart. We don’t need to work so hard to sound smart anymore. And honestly, it’s a jackoff thing to do and everybody knows it.

Last month, and I swear this on my father’s ashes, I showed a page with the title “[Topic] Summary” and five words on the page below that. When I showed that slide, I said, “This slide sums up the twenty pages of analysis we did in order to get the answer. That stuff’s in the appendix. We can run through it right now, or you can just trust us.” There were grins around the table. The response was, “Nope, good job. That agrees with our stance on the issue too.”

Those of you who are still in school may not realize how bizarre this is. You say it's simple common sense? You're right. But trust me: this is rare on Wall Street.

So if you want to give it a try, here’s what I think you should do next time you’re building a deck for an audience of BSDs:

1: Decide how you would say it if you and the audience were friends talking over beers.

2: Remove the profanity.

3: Put each sentence at the head of a slide and put one solid chart on the page to support it.

Random example:

Look. We gotta face the fucking music: Bamco’s beating you because they can execute. You’ve got the same spend but they get their products across the finish line every time. You don’t. However, their product is a shitty knockoff of yours.

The way I see it, you can do one of three things: sue ‘em, beat ‘em, buy ‘em. Suing is for pussies and lawyers are expensive, so fuck that. You can beat them pretty cheaply, but there’s a moderate chance that this tactic might open the door for Zamco to come in and beat you. If you buy them it’s a sure thing, but if you bought them at this valuation the shareholders might hang you out to dry. You ask my opinion, you should just double down and beat them, fair fight.

Here’s the deck that results from that.
Slide 1: Superior execution drives Bamco’s current valuation
Slide 2: Bamco spends $2bn; delivers quickly and reliably
Slide 3: You spend $2bn, but execution has been spotty
Slide 4: When you deliver, your product wins
Slide 5: Options: Sue them, beat them, buy them
Slide 6: Lawsuit: too long, too expensive
Slide 7: Acquisition: expensive, but sure thing
Slide 8: Competition: cheaper, risky but immediately Accretive to earnings
Slide 9: Next steps

Try it. Your junior bankers don't hate you; your clients start calling you directly instead of the senior guys. The senior guys start inviting you to the strategy meetings, asking you how best to approach the client. The hand of friendship is extended.

But more importantly: no soporific 90-page deck, no all-nighters. Nine slides. Nine charts. No fat, all muscle. Done.

What you do with your nights is up to you.

(P.S. When I post here, I typically try to make it appropriate for analysts, since young Wall Street types are the ones that keep this place alive and vibrant. Analysts and associates don’t typically have much control over content and messaging. But someday they will. And when they do, I hope they will man up and find ways to cut the bullshit.)

See my other WSO blog posts
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Comments

BlackHat's picture

Whoops, misleading title...

HF
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:13pm

Whoops, misleading title... The Mexican guys building out the patio on my summer home could have really benefited from this had it been what I thought it was gonna be.

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

Status_Quo's picture

This is excellent advice.

 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:23pm

This is excellent advice.

Going Concern's picture

BlackHat: Whoops, misleading

(King Kong, 1,679
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:27pm
BlackHat:

Whoops, misleading title... The Mexican guys building out the patio on my summer home could have really benefited from this had it been what I thought it was gonna be.

Where do you summer, South Hampton ?

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

BlackHat's picture

Going

HF
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:27pm
Going Concern:
BlackHat:

Whoops, misleading title... The Mexican guys building out the patio on my summer home could have really benefited from this had it been what I thought it was gonna be.

Where do you summer, South Hampton ?

She's from ........ France.

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

jec's picture

Seems legit...

 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:29pm

Seems legit...

macpro's picture

I know there aren't many

 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:30pm

I know there aren't many females on this site. As a female, I must say Bankarella does not speak like a female.

milehigh's picture

BlackHat: Whoops, misleading

IB
(Baboon, 141
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:30pm
BlackHat:

Whoops, misleading title... The Mexican guys building out the patio on my summer home could have really benefited from this had it been what I thought it was gonna be.

Bravo. How do I silver banana you?!

BlackHat's picture

milehigh: BlackHat: Whoops,

HF
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:33pm
milehigh:
BlackHat:

Whoops, misleading title... The Mexican guys building out the patio on my summer home could have really benefited from this had it been what I thought it was gonna be.

Bravo. How do I silver banana you?!

With the Silver Banana button of course!

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

chicandtoughness's picture

macpro: I know there aren't

CS
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:35pm
macpro:

I know there aren't many females on this site. As a female, I must say Bankarella does not speak like a female.

wtf is that supposed to mean? I hear females speak like her all the time. If you mean she doesn't speak like a pansy with "just so you know" and "I hope this doesn't offend you" and "guys, can't we all just get along? <3", then yeah. But last time I checked neither did anyone else who had a backbone.

Back on topic: this is actually a good post, +1. I've been doing the "friends over beers" approach for a while (albeit in different contexts); makes organizing much easier.

"Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
Currently: quantitative marketing/business development
Previously: management consulting, investment banking

Going Concern's picture

BlackHat: Going

(King Kong, 1,679
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:36pm
BlackHat:
Going Concern:
BlackHat:

Whoops, misleading title... The Mexican guys building out the patio on my summer home could have really benefited from this had it been what I thought it was gonna be.

Where do you summer, South Hampton ?

She's from ........ France.

Oh yeah...this girl worked in a tanning salon.

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

BlackHat's picture

Going

HF
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:38pm
Going Concern:
BlackHat:
Going Concern:
BlackHat:

Whoops, misleading title... The Mexican guys building out the patio on my summer home could have really benefited from this had it been what I thought it was gonna be.

Where do you summer, South Hampton ?

She's from ........ France.

Oh yeah...this girl worked in a tanning salon.

You need not say more.

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

In The Flesh's picture

Very nice. Important to do

HF
(Neanderthal, 2,792
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:41pm

Very nice. Important to do the due diligence on the people first to make sure they have a sense of humor, etc.

Head of Metal Website: www.headofmetal.com

https://twitter.com/headofmetal2012

GS's picture

This seems like an

ST
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:41pm

This seems like an exceptionally risky bet to take for anyone who under the rank of VP.

UFOinsider's picture

bankerella: common sense ...

O
(Human, 10,300
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:44pm
bankerella:

common sense ... this is rare on Wall Street

PREACH IT SISTA

YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...

bankerella's picture

macpro: I know there aren't

IB
(King Kong, 1,863
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:43pm
macpro:

I know there aren't many females on this site. As a female, I must say Bankarella does not speak like a female.

I think you mean I don't speak like one of those DFFs who whine about women making $0.75 on the dollar and how life is just so unfair and we can't have it all.

Fact is, I'm too busy getting shit done. I don't have the time or energy to conform. Nor do I have the time or energy to whine about how the world isn't what I think it should be.

Regardless of gender: if people want to do well out here in the real world, they need to have some fucking stones. If they don't have them, they need to grow them.

Now get out there and bite some asses off some big fucking bears.

See my other WSO blog posts

milehigh's picture

BlackHat: milehigh: Black

IB
(Baboon, 141
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 1:47pm
BanditPandit's picture

bankerella: They’re the kind

O
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 2:20pm
In The Flesh's picture

bankerella: macpro: I know

HF
(Neanderthal, 2,792
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 2:22pm

Head of Metal Website: www.headofmetal.com

https://twitter.com/headofmetal2012

ladubs111's picture

BlackHat: Going

IA
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 2:22pm
BlackHat's picture

ladubs111: BlackHat: Goin

HF
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 2:24pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

mergersandacquisitions78's picture

I'm a little more long in the

(Monkey, 40
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 2:28pm
adapt or die's picture

BlackHat: Whoops, misleading

(King Kong, 1,229
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 2:29pm
Tolland15's picture

mergersandacquisitions78: I'm

O
(Baboon, 150
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 3:07pm

I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it's a very poor scheme for survival.

blastoise's picture

bankerella: macpro: I know

O
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 3:08pm
Oreos's picture

A+

HF
(Neanderthal, 2,445
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 3:21pm
BlackHat's picture

adapt or

HF
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 3:23pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

Tommy Too-toned's picture

It'd be crazy to see what

(Gorilla, 505
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 5:10pm
BTbanker's picture

This is a bit vituperative

IB
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 5:53pm

"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan

shark-monkey's picture

How very office-space-esque

HF
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 6:55pm

Fear is the greatest motivator. Motivation is what it takes to find profit.

mokey1234's picture

Yeah but do you work at a big

 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 7:37pm
UFOinsider's picture

More than anything else, this

O
(Human, 10,300
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 8:10pm

YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...

bankerella's picture

UFOinsider: More than

IB
(King Kong, 1,863
 
Points)
 on 8/10/12 at 8:30pm

See my other WSO blog posts

macpro's picture

chicandtoughness: macpro: I

 
Points)
 on 8/11/12 at 9:30am
macpro's picture

bankerella: macpro: I know

 
Points)
 on 8/11/12 at 9:35am
GS's picture

UFOinsider: More than

ST
 
Points)
 on 8/11/12 at 9:43am
labanker's picture

mergersandacquisitions78: I

PE
(Orangutan, 328
 
Points)
 on 8/11/12 at 12:59pm
bankerella's picture

macpro: Thanks for your

IB
(King Kong, 1,863
 
Points)
 on 8/11/12 at 2:00pm

See my other WSO blog posts

yellowmirage's picture

I realize most of the people

 
Points)
 on 8/11/12 at 5:28pm
TheGrinch's picture

This is really interesting.

HF
 
Points)
 on 8/11/12 at 5:59pm
ChemicalBank's picture

agree 100% with this post

IB
 
Points)
 on 8/11/12 at 6:33pm
GS's picture

I have a question: Are the

ST
 
Points)
 on 8/12/12 at 10:36am

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