So I took up boxing recently and love the sport. It's done wonders for my fitness in a very short space of time and being able to do connecting punches is great for the ego. It's also a bit different on the conversation topics/CV. Everyone i've mentioned it to has found it pretty interesting (a side perk I did it to get fit and man up a bit and be able to knock someone out if I can't flee a fight).
However it is typically a sport for people from lower income backgrounds, of which I am definitely not. My parents came from the square root of nothing and did damn well for themselves. They paid for the best education possible for my brother and I and holidays, but never clothes/subsidising our lifestyles. All of that I had to get a job for.
While early on (as is the case in all aspects of life) these differences dont matter so much. But it's starting to grind now. Being singled out isn't fun and the endless torrent is turning it into an unenjoyable 2 hours of my evenings (twice a week, 4hrs total).
I've never mentioned personal wealth, they dont know what I do for a living, they know where I live because a couple of them are decorators that worked on my neighbours house), and never talked about material possessions.I even intentionally arrive in the cheapest car I have. I've bought myself decent gear, because you dont buy cheap stuff if you can afford not to, its better value in the long run.
Stick it out and suck it up? Find a new club and act poor/lie about what I do? Change sports? Call them out on it?
A good example of what I'm going on about is we do a bleep test regularly. (Multi stage fitness exam if you call it something different). It's a universal 20 metre shuttle run of minute intervals of running that gets progressively faster. They cheat like anything through it (despite priding themselves on honesty), by either running way ahead of the beep or not dropping out if they dont make it. However whenever if I miss the line by an inch (which is allowed under the rules for the rest of the world, you just have to make the next line), I get called out instantly, while the rest keep jogging their way into ignorance.
I'm not exactly awesome with my soft skills, but I'm either going to snap if this keeps up, or just stop going, which would be a huge pity since I really enjoy it.
WW(WSO) do?
Thanks for any hints, similar stories and how they worked out for you would be great to hear.
T
Well, calling them out on it may piss them off, which would result in them wanting to spar with you and then whooping your ass. Just keep pushing yourself to be as good as them, if not better. Don't flaunt your wealth or superiority. Try to relate to them as much as possible. Just go there, man up, kick ass and everything will be good. This is all coming from experience I had when I trained at an MMA gym. It was a smaller hole in the wall type gym and I would drive up in my BMW and, like you, get called out on everything. I got my ass kicked for a while until I pushed myself harder. When you can hold your own, they'll back off a little bit.
Just take the harassment. I thought you did this to man up? You should probably go ahead and do that.
lol
Fair point Happy,
I'm just wondering if being a man always equates to taking shit, or getting up and going for something they enjoy more.
gold
Show them you aren't inherently different than them. Go along for beers after a workout, take the ribbing in stride, work your ass off in the gym, etc.
The harder you work in the gym, the more prepared you will be to win their respect physically.
Look, you're going into a place that is populated by men that like hitting other men in the face. They are not going to be nice to you. Consider the harassment part of making you tougher. If you can take some beefy black dude talking shit to you while landing jabs in your orthodontist cared for grill, you can probably take a reeming from your boss later in life.
If you like boxing, don't let them run you off. Once you run away from someone who intimidates you/makes you uncomfortable, you're not going to stop running when things get hard later in life. Set the precedent now.
Start calling them out on their shit. They don't seem to mind calling you out on yours.
How about moving to a different club? There have got to be some clubs where there are people who you can get along with better. Or you could take up a similar-but-not-exactly-the-same sport, like MMA or muay thai. It seems to me that those don't have the "poor stigma" that boxing does in the US.
P.S. - Boxing's pretty terrible if you're looking for something you can use to knock someone out if you can't flee a fight. You're probably going to end up breaking your hands that way. Best to just avoid them fights; less chance of a lawsuit too. Shouldn't be hard for an upper-middle-class banker/consultant type, heh.
Completely agree with you Happy.
They are shit-testing you. If you complain, you lose. If you quit, you lose (IMO). If you check your ego at the door and put in the work, nothing else will matter and they will respect you in time. Come on, you think they've never seen a white pretty boy quit after a few weeks? Boxing is serious to them, and they gotta haze you a bit to make sure it is important to you too.
I can only agree with working harder. Had the same issue in my gym, but I was really putting myself into training. Couldn't do everything at first (say run 5k and then train for 1.5 hour, say), but did my best, asked questions and was learning from other guys. We didn't make friends, of course, but we respected each other, and it was pretty cool.
Reassure them, let them think they are better than you - at least in the gym. By being better than them you will only provoke jealousy.
Similar story here, but in my case it's mma.
You have to bear in mind that you're there to get in shape/learn how to defend yourself. You're not there to make friends.
Don't be friendly with them, simply stay focus on your objectives. Their words don't mean a thing. It is as if a dog was barking at you. Will you snap because of that? No.
Go Krav-maga. Someone gets in your way, you drop them in .5 seconds. Then move on with your life.
White boy in ghetto gym? YOU AINT NEVER GETTIN RESPECT UNTIL YOU EARN IT. Suck it up and train hard.
i thought this was going to be a post about work
weak
struggles of the male ego. There seems to always be someone, somewhere, who would like to prove that they are more masculine, tougher, and better than you for no apparent reason.
Just keep doing what you're doing and as someone posted earlier, just keep busting ass and working hard.
Dude, just find some professional gym to go to. This isn't Rockey 3, you ain't trying to beat Clubber Lang. Yeah, I think you are being a pussy, but why they hell are you in some hood gym trying to be broke.
Either give them shit and tell them to suck it and gain respect or go to a gym that doesn't break your balls. Not wanting to be harassed doesn't make you a pussy, but taking it and whining about it on here does.
agreed
Look dude. It's fighting for crying out loud. Them calling you out is not that bad. My friend and I would spar in Newark (read armpit of america) and one time he left his mouthpiece out and went to the bathroom. Came back, popped it in and there was a pube in it.
Everywhere we would spar everyone would be calling us ghostface and whitey. I won my first fight by decisions and the other coach threw his second place trophy at me and the cops had to escort me and my coach out of the building. Was like a riot, people launching full water bottles in the air and at us!
If you are upset about them talking to you poorly then you are in the wrong sport. Buy your own heavy bag and stay home if you don't want the insults. Or just fuck em up in the ring
Non-issue. Go to a nicer gym or just take it in stride. Either way you're there to train so just make sure they're not getting in the way of that and nothing else matters.
could be a stage of trial. can't let the rich kid in that easy without a test of character! haven't you seen the movies?
Challenge the head honcho (or the king bully) to a one on one all holds barred anything goes street brawl, loser leaves the gym forever and becomes the winner's personal unpaid servant.
Here's what you do: 1) Fight starts 2) Run to the nearest wall 3) Proceed to "rope a dope" (youtube Muhammad Ali vs George Foreman) 4) Withstand his/her torrent of physical assaults (while you hurl a combination of your own verbal assaults, based on your post I'm assuming poverty jokes would go the extra mile here, think along the lines of "Yo mama's so poor...")
5) Hopefully he tires out otherwise repeat step 4 (try not to die) 6) He should be pretty tired right now and assuming he didn't sneak in some brass knuckles and/or a bat/brick you should be pretty unscathed 7) Finish him off 8) Come post on WSO and revel in the glory & extra SB from believers (fuck the shit from non-believers you don't need them, you're a level 99 black belt welterweight world champion)
your situation doesnt sound that dire. don't care for the story on people cheating on fitness tests or people making fun of you. you will know if people hate you when you start sparring them. when you're supposed to be sparring at 60-70% and people are throwing haymakers, that's when you know people hate you...
btw, boxing isn't a team sport or a place to make friends. all you need to worry about is the head trainer pushing you to be better. if trainer's not doing that go somewhere else. anyways you fight because you know you will be shitted on.
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