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Ok, before you write stuff like "good for him!" or "he's my idol," think about this for a second.

He is 51, I am 28, my brother is 22 and my sister is 21 (you can imagine her happiness about this of course...same age as the 21 year old my dad wants to marry). The smallest brother is 13.

My father divorced twice in the last 20 years, with 4 kids total.

I guess due to a mid-life crisis (which he of course denies), he started fooling around with this 20 yr old last year, and now he announced he wants to marry her.

The entire family is in shock, we are all telling him "what the hell are you doing."

What concerns me is that he is kind of wealthy, and the motives of this girl are pretty obvious, especially since she is already planning kids which is something my father decided to never ever have again.

I want his happiness and I do not want to cut my ties with him, but it is really hard for me to play nice and act like is all good, especially since she is actually turning into a controlling bitch.

He is obvously blindsided by pussy and this can potentially turn messy, especially considering that my sister of course said "you disgust me" and promised not to talk to him ever again.

What would you do ? Would you just let it be, or you would do everything possible to make him think ? Where do you draw the limit to your own personal pleasures (pussy), when you are a father of a girl the same age of the one you are banging ?

Comments (57)

  • dagro's picture

    have him sign a PRENUP with her first of all. something to the effect that his current networth will be solely inherited by his previous 4 children. and ask him why the hell he needs to marry her if he can get her and equally attractive women for FREE?

    i'd personally be curious about his answer to that. why is he doing this? will he have a vasectomy? have him get a vasectomy too btw. neuter him if you can. get a shrink to declare him senile and irresponsible and then you can decide everything for him.
    ok, i'm trailing off here.

    but first of all make a list of all the bad things you can see coming out of this and list the solutions of least resistance. see if he will take it to heart. beyond that you can follow her around and catch her on tape with her younger lover (she's bound to have one - seriously) - you can get little spy recording devices to put in her purse... stupid slut.

    =========================================
    "... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

  • Argonaut's picture

    Maybe you can, in non-accusatory tone, explain to him that you (his children) view it as a betrayal, because in essence he is trading you for the children he doesn't have yet and that you all would be more accepting of his choice if he was able to demonstrate to you all that you are still a top priority in his life and he will still take care of you, whether by setting up trusts and/or transferring assets to the children before the marriage, or by drafting a will and a prenup which clearly references and reinforces the will, that way she can't contest the will.
    Talk to a lawyer, financial advisor, and a therapist before you make your case; if you are well-prepared it might be the best thing that happened to your family and your dad and his new family

    More is good, all is better

  • IlliniProgrammer's picture

    Either ask him to put together a pre-nup or have him put a large amount of his assets into an irrevocable spendthrift trust, which he can use but is not considered an asset in divorce court- that way, if he wants to avoid the prenup discussion, he can still protect the kids when it comes to his existing assets.

    Still, I am planning on inheriting $0 from Mom and Dad. They paid for in-state college; I can make it on my own.

    Oh well. This looks like a bad Matlock or Murder She Wrote episode. Do you have a disgruntled cleaning lady?

  • In reply to dagro
    Argonaut's picture

    dagro wrote:
    and ask him why the hell he needs to marry her if he can get her and equally attractive women for FREE?
    .

    LULZ @ FREE

    More is good, all is better

  • In reply to dagro
    MrFuture's picture

    dagro wrote:
    have him sign a PRENUP with her first of all. something to the effect that his current networth will be solely inherited by his previous 4 children. and ask him why the hell he needs to marry her if he can get her and equally attractive women for FREE?

    i'd personally be curious about his answer to that. why is he doing this? will he have a vasectomy? have him get a vasectomy too btw. neuter him if you can. get a shrink to declare him senile and irresponsible and then you can decide everything for him.
    ok, i'm trailing off here.

    but first of all make a list of all the bad things you can see coming out of this and list the solutions of least resistance. see if he will take it to heart. beyond that you can follow her around and catch her on tape with her younger lover (she's bound to have one - seriously) - you can get little spy recording devices to put in her purse... stupid slut.

    I actually wrote him a long letter. The whole family read it and they loved it. He actually loved it as well, and it was sadly obvious that his response was very forced and full of excuses. But it is precisely when he wrote "she's been wanting this for so long, it is only fair to her," that I realized this is really bad, worse that what I thought.

    I honestly do not know what's going on, since he is not talking about it to anyone after the backlash, and we do not ask, hoping everything is on hold, but then again, perhaps he did it already in secret...you never know.

    He said he would of course take care of everything financially (pre nup), but unless I force him to show me the paperwork, with the risk of appearing as if I am worried only about the money, I cannot know for sure.

    I could care less about money or my share of any money, and do not want it, it is not the point. I am worried that this will create inevitable problems with my sister and the rest of the family, as well as for him in the future since of course this bitch will create problems somehow.

  • CaptK's picture

    Holy crap make him get a prenup. It's obviously a pretty fucked up situation, but at the end of the day, it is his life. The best you can do is to make sure his mistakes don't screw over the family financially. If she signs an aggressive prenup and still wants to marry him, can you really question her motives any longer? If she won't sign it, I think that also reveals her true intentions to your father.

    - Capt K -
    "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham

  • Argonaut's picture

    MrFuture, it's not about the money, it's about commitment, fulfilling obligations, planning for the future and acting like a grown-up, instead of a kid who's got a new toy and forgot he still has homework, chores, and old toys.
    If you don't want to come across money-angled, take him to a financial advisor or something, let the other person present to him solutions.

    More is good, all is better

  • In reply to MrFuture
    dagro's picture

    MrFuture wrote:
    dagro wrote:
    have him sign a PRENUP with her first of all. something to the effect that his current networth will be solely inherited by his previous 4 children. and ask him why the hell he needs to marry her if he can get her and equally attractive women for FREE?

    i'd personally be curious about his answer to that. why is he doing this? will he have a vasectomy? have him get a vasectomy too btw. neuter him if you can. get a shrink to declare him senile and irresponsible and then you can decide everything for him.
    ok, i'm trailing off here.

    but first of all make a list of all the bad things you can see coming out of this and list the solutions of least resistance. see if he will take it to heart. beyond that you can follow her around and catch her on tape with her younger lover (she's bound to have one - seriously) - you can get little spy recording devices to put in her purse... stupid slut.

    I actually wrote him a long letter. The whole family read it and they loved it. He actually loved it as well, and it was sadly obvious that his response was very forced and full of excuses. But it is precisely when he wrote "she's been wanting this for so long, it is only fair to her," that I realized this is really bad, worse that what I thought.

    I honestly do not know what's going on, since he is not talking about it to anyone after the backlash, and we do not ask, hoping everything is on hold, but then again, perhaps he did it already in secret...you never know.

    He said he would of course take care of everything financially (pre nup), but unless I force him to show me the paperwork, with the risk of appearing as if I am worried only about the money, I cannot know for sure.

    I could care less about money or my share of any money, and do not want it, it is not the point. I am worried that this will create inevitable problems with my sister and the rest of the family, as well as for him in the future since of course this bitch will create problems somehow.


    if he used the "it's only fair" line, it means he feels guilty for banging her and probably lying to her throughout.
    is he aware of her gold-digging nature? if he denies she's a gold-digger, have him prove it with a prenup or trust fund, as mentioned before. if he's not denying it, and still doing nothing about it, then lord have mercy on all of you, coz he's a selfish bastard.

    =========================================
    "... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

  • CaptK's picture

    MrFuture - PLEASE read the story I posted in Eddie's thread on marriage. It is EXTREMELY applicable to your father.

    Here is a link: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/is-marriage-us...

    - Capt K -
    "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham

  • In reply to Edmundo Braverman
    michaelj901's picture

    Edmundo Braverman wrote:
    Hate to be a dick, dude, but it's hard for me not to root for the old man.

    Just sayin', is all.

    When my dad was 50 he married a woman 23 years younger than he was at the time. My first reaction was "thats weird" their age difference was basically my age. I was 19 at the time.

    But at the end of the day pops is happier, for obvious reasons, and that is all that really matters to me. She also has MILF friends (tons). Not saying I am a wife snatcher but at least its good eye candy when I go home.

    About Prenups, my dad didnt sign one. Their individual net worth's were nearly identical. Hers was from her family and my dad was retired - so limited upside income potential. Regardless, I hope no one's retirement plan is predicated on your father passing away or not having your "share" diluted.

    Moral of the story, let the old man get some - you might learn a thing or 2 haha.

  • cphbravo96's picture

    Why not "accidentally" get caught with your penis ramming her cervix? That should show him that she is a shady bitch and that you will do anything (have sex with a mildly attractive to unattractive girl) for your father's happiness.

    Problem solved.

    Regards

    "The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so."
    - Ronald Reagan

  • In reply to cphbravo96
    Nouveau Richie's picture

    cphbravo96 wrote:
    Why not "accidentally" get caught with your penis ramming her cervix? That should show him that she is a shady bitch and that you will do anything (have sex with a mildly attractive to unattractive girl) for your father's happiness.

    Problem solved.

    Regards

    Wow, I could find so many porn examples of this it's not even funny. (I doubt Patrick would appreciate that too much though!)

  • In reply to cphbravo96
    MrFuture's picture

    cphbravo96 wrote:
    Why not "accidentally" get caught with your penis ramming her cervix? That should show him that she is a shady bitch and that you will do anything (have sex with a mildly attractive to unattractive girl) for your father's happiness.

    Problem solved.

    Regards

    I'll get back to you on that one once I am done puking....

  • In reply to nonfatlatte
    MrFuture's picture

    nonfatlatte wrote:
    Buster McGillicudy wrote:
    Nouveau Richie wrote:
    nonfatlatte wrote:
    my dads are really screwed up and my solution is separating my live from theirs' and kinda wishing them the best.

    Wait... do you have two gay fathers?

    Yikes...That would make my life screwed up

    lol, that would be much more entertaining but no

    Ricky Martin's twins will be able to tell us in a few years....

  • In reply to cphbravo96
    dagro's picture

    cphbravo96 wrote:
    Why not "accidentally" get caught with your penis ramming her cervix? That should show him that she is a shady bitch and that you will do anything (have sex with a mildly attractive to unattractive girl) for your father's happiness.

    Problem solved.

    Regards


    +1 - if all else fails and you don't trust the bitch i say do it, in all seriousness. unless you are yourself in a relationship. if so, try getting your sister to do it.
    ok, that last part wasn't serious (tho we'd all like to think so...)
    gnite ppl

    =========================================
    "... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

  • rfxm3's picture

    It wouldn't be the age that bothered me, just the gold digging aspect.

    My father dated a chick who was fairly young, i guess approx 23, asian too - proper midlife crisis! I got on quite well with her as she was close to my age (i was 17 i think), don't think I would have cared if he had married her instead of someone closer to his age (he was 45 or so).

    But the 'gold digger' aspect would really annoy me, his current fiancee used to get wierd when I lived with them and he gave me cash for things... drove me crazy when she was walking around wearing v expensive jewelry, etc from him. I don't worry about my inheritence, want to make my own money, but that is still a trait that really pisses me off, regardless of whether it affects me or not.

  • In reply to Edmundo Braverman
    Antsman's picture

    Edmundo Braverman wrote:
    cphbravo96 wrote:
    Why not "accidentally" get caught with your penis ramming her cervix? That should show him that she is a shady bitch and that you will do anything (have sex with a mildly attractive to unattractive girl) for your father's happiness.

    Problem solved.

    Regards

    Epic. +1

    Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die.

    .

    Hahahahahahaha!!!! This is hilarious OMG.

  • In reply to MrFuture
    Jorgé's picture

    MrFuture wrote:
    "she's been wanting this for so long, it is only fair to her"

    That's just wrong.

    People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can't trust people Jeremy

  • International Pymp's picture

    Make sure that he gets a prenup in place so that she doesn't jeapordize your financial security and then just let it be. You love your dad, and he's going to make a stupid decision... there is no reason to stop loving him now. Everyone makes bad choices sometimes. This kind of thing happens all the time - your best move is to go w/ the flow to whatever degree you can. Also get the rest of your family to stop hating to whatever degree they can.

    My best friend in HS's dad married a 28 year old when he was 60. They proceeded to have a kid. It's awkward, but it's actually turning out to be alright. The guys dad is probably worth 80-120mm and he made sure she only gets like 10mm-ish in the event of a divorce. They seem to be very happily married though actually. And what's more surprising is that my friend has realized that the chick makes his dad happy, and that's what matters most to him anyways.

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