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I haven't talked to my best friend of 7 years for almost 2 years because we got into a fight over him not being able to drive somewhere. Stupidest reason ever and I've been thinking about how dumb it really was. Reason being, he just went into the marines after turning down a scholarship to NYU and I don't know how I would react if I were to find out something bad happened to him over there.

What about you guys?

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Comments (26)

  • WSOusername's picture

    i was about to say "yea, 1 car crash and 2 o.d.s" but then realized that wasnt what you were asking. To your question, the answer is no. I have a penis thus I don't hold grudges. I've stopped talking to friends before because I've realized they were pieces of shit, but I wouldn't call that "losing a friend" as much as "realizing they weren't one".

    GBS

  • bumpthethread's picture

    Never really lost a friend. But I just gotta say - there's really only 10-20 friends that I truly "care" about. They are the ones I constantly talk to/text and the ones I would go out of my way to arrange a meet-up. The rest are really just glorified acquaintances.

    Just think about that one friend you know who has 1000+ friends on Facebook. Really, think about it - how many of those do you actually talk to?

  • helpmepleasethx's picture

    I agree with bumpthethread, although I only facebook friend people I've had conversations with, I definitely agree that there are only about 20 or so friends who I truly care about.

  • blastoise's picture

    i love all my guild mates when I quit some of the most baller mfers I ever met, had awesome guild cook outs. Guild leader owned a golf course nothing like watching the raid leader snap IRL when we wiped on a mob first pull because some one yealed FORE

  • FlakieBear's picture

    Will Hunting:
    I haven't talked to my best friend of 7 years for almost 2 years because we got into a fight over him not being able to drive somewhere. Stupidest reason ever and I've been thinking about how dumb it really was. Reason being, he just went into the marines after turning down a scholarship to NYU and I don't know how I would react if I were to find out something bad happened to him over there.

    What about you guys?

    What's stopping you from giving him a call (skype), sending him a letter/email?

    It's never too late to make amend with whoever you shared a great friendship.

    He probably feels like shit sometimes for letting go of the friendship.

    Send him a letter/email. Write about how childish you both were and how you would love to buy him a drink when he is back. Depending on how he reacts, you will an opportunity to rekindle the friendship, laugh at what happened, and catch up.

    Keep in mind that people do grow apart, so even if you don't become as close as before, you will at least have him as an acquaintance.

    Power and Money do not change men; they only unmask them

  • Frieds's picture

    Will, I honestly think that it depends on the relationship. It's rare that I'd give up a friendship. It only happened to me once in my lifetime. My advice to you is get in touch with him and just make amends. It's harder than you think to lose a friendship of serious value. Even if it is just a letter getting back in touch with him, it'll be for the better and allow you to rekindle a friendship.

    And yes, I have lost a friend. Let's just say I'm happier because of it. He asked me to do his friend a favor prior to his New Years Eve Party party. It was a multiple day affair and I took care of doing the favor that Saturday night. So, I take care of it and he decides he wants to hide and eavesdrop on the conversation between me, his friend and a third party about said favor. He then flipped the fuck out at me because I did that favor despite not liking the favor. Not only that, he couldn't see the problem everything posed and where there were levels of interpretation to be had - particularly those that could be construed by any rational person. He blamed it all on me and I took the brunt of the punishment. His friend and the third party got none of the blame and he blamed me for the entirety. He nearly threw me out of his house after I had been drinking (kinda heavily too - and when I pointed that one out, he said to stay down stairs and enjoy my suffering in the cold since I wasn't welcomed up in his place any more) and after he realized that if I got pulled over and told the officer that I had been drinking at his house, he had thrown me out and put me in the position to get pulled over while driving drunk, he would have had some serious legal issues to deal with. That was the only thing that could convince him that it was better to have me stay the night. When I left the next day, I just thanked him and left. That Monday, I get a call from his girlfriend who was stark raving mad about them breaking up. He broke up with her because he said "She was in on the entire thing and knew what was going on." This was in the middle of the first trading day of the new year and she's flipping out. So, I tell her I'll fix this and I get a hold of the guy as soon as the market is closed and I'm out of the office. At this point, I'm sitting at the bar when I call him with a Manhattan sitting in front of me because I knew this was a shitty phone call and 45 minutes later, I got him to take her back. I called her, tolder her I fixed everything and all she said back was "fuck you, I never want to see or hear from you again. You ruined my life." For the next 18 months, I would not even see or speak to him again. I tried to reach out and apologize to him a few times because I wanted to be the bigger man.

    Needless to say, I ran into the two of them about 8 months ago. I was in Philly visiting with my old Boss who was now working in Philly instead of splitting time between NYC and Philly like he used to and he and I had gone out for dinner and drinks. We were at the bar having drinks with some of his business contacts while waiting for the rest of our party when I spied my former friend and his fiance being seated. I heard through a mutual friend of ours that the two were now engaged, so I sent them two glasses of champagne as a congratulations. I saw a little commotion from their table as the waiter pointed me out. She comes over with her glass of champagne and says to the group I'm with - "Don't trust this fucking douche bag. He'll fuck you over, lie to your face, stab you in the back and do it with a smile. And when you ask him to clean it up, he refuses outright unless you twist his arm." - and then throws her drink at me and then scurries back to her fiance. He sees this, comes over and says "You deserved that. Now leave us alone, I said I never wanted to see you again and I mean it." before walking back to his fiance and I haven't seen them since. My former boss and his friends are just looking at this in awe wondering what the hell happened. I told him the whole story and he got a kick out of it.

    I guess it just comes down to who the person is and what they mean to you. If it's important to save the friendship, then do it. If it's not, then it's not worth keeping. Only you know the ones that are and aren't.

  • bumpthethread's picture

    @Frieds

    What's this favor???? I can't imagine a favor so severe that it causes this much drama.

    By the way - you should have knocked the fuck out of him when he said "you deserved that."

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  • swagon's picture

    Junior year of college, I had a particularly raunchy pillow fight with one of my bros. He hit me in the vagina pretty damn hard. I was so pissed I stopped shoe shopping with him then we eventually lost touch completely. Then I woke up one day and noticed I had a ball sack. "What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I realized I was after all NOT a girl, at which point I stopped losing friends over retarded shit like not being able to drive somewhere (whatever the fuck that even means).

    Now, when I do find myself in a retarded argument, I forget about it as soon as it's over and keep on being bros with my bros, because I'm a bro, and bros aren't bitches, bro.

    BROLO.

  • jgx101's picture

    I'd rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies.

  • In reply to swagon
    streetwannabe's picture

    swagon:
    Junior year of college, I had a particularly raunchy pillow fight with one of my bros. He hit me in the vagina pretty damn hard. I was so pissed I stopped shoe shopping with him then we eventually lost touch completely. Then I woke up one day and noticed I had a ball sack. "What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I realized I was after all NOT a girl, at which point I stopped losing friends over retarded shit like not being able to drive somewhere (whatever the fuck that even means).

    Now, when I do find myself in a retarded argument, I forget about it as soon as it's over and keep on being bros with my bros, because I'm a bro, and bros aren't bitches, bro.

    BROLO.

    haha +1

    "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

  • Frieds's picture

    Bump, it doesn't matter what the favor was. All that matters is that the favor caused drama that it shouldn't have caused because my friend was being a douchebag. And I didn't slug him - some times it's just better to ignore that instinct to fight back when it's just not worth it. This was one of those times.

  • In reply to swagon
    SonnyZH's picture

    swagon:
    Junior year of college, I had a particularly raunchy pillow fight with one of my bros. He hit me in the vagina pretty damn hard. I was so pissed I stopped shoe shopping with him then we eventually lost touch completely. Then I woke up one day and noticed I had a ball sack. "What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I realized I was after all NOT a girl, at which point I stopped losing friends over retarded shit like not being able to drive somewhere (whatever the fuck that even means).

    Now, when I do find myself in a retarded argument, I forget about it as soon as it's over and keep on being bros with my bros, because I'm a bro, and bros aren't bitches, bro.

    BROLO.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.
  • UFOinsider's picture

    I've both lost friends and terminated friendships, but those were extreme cases where there was just no reason to 'work through it'. Family gets 100% effort, friends, well, not so much. Honesly, time heals most wounds. If it's been two years, just shoot them a message saying "Hi, it's been a while, how have you been?" and take it from there. Unless there's some serious underlying issue, most of the time people just needed to do their own thing for a while. You're going to find out what happened to them anyway in the long stretch of life, just get it over with. Who knows, maybe they're over there thinking the same thing.

    Just call/text/write and hope for the best.

    Get busy living

  • kmzz's picture

    i have. was due to them falling into a multi-level pyramid scheme and having it absorb their life and filling their head with lies. he thought he was going to make soo much money and told everyone else they were going to be poor (if u didnt buy his company's product, which no one did) and he was going to retire in 8 years (this was in high school)
    now that both of us just graduated, after he failed lost his friends and gf due to his change, all he has is a part time job pulling in maybe $25k a year and im quadroupling that. who's the poor one now

  • D M's picture

    I've stopped a number of my friendships (two with what I had considered very good friends), for one reason: they were shitty people, either to me or to EVERYONE else. Probably will happen again. I've never lost a friend because of something I done. I'm a very loyal person and once I consider you my friend I'll go to the end of the world for you if it's needed. I don't, however, put up with people who take advantage of my loyalty.

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • Frieds's picture

    DM, I totally feel you on that one. I've burned bridges with people as a result of shit like that. I'm the same way - loyal til the day I die.

    Eddie, you would have laughed your ass off. And it was a total Joan Crawford moment too - I just watched this happen in Slow motion and couldn't stop laughing after it happened. Lets just say that the Maitre D' wanted to throw me out, I had people looking at me funny and then there were the people I was with who couldn't stop laughing hysterically. Ironically enough, the reason why I was seeing my old boss and his friends was all about me and booze to begin with. I was down thereto pitch them on investing in a small upstart brewery as silent partners.

  • In reply to swagon
    Kenny Powers's picture

    swagon:
    Junior year of college, I had a particularly raunchy pillow fight with one of my bros. He hit me in the vagina pretty damn hard. I was so pissed I stopped shoe shopping with him then we eventually lost touch completely. Then I woke up one day and noticed I had a ball sack. "What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I realized I was after all NOT a girl, at which point I stopped losing friends over retarded shit like not being able to drive somewhere (whatever the fuck that even means).

    Now, when I do find myself in a retarded argument, I forget about it as soon as it's over and keep on being bros with my bros, because I'm a bro, and bros aren't bitches, bro.

    BROLO.

    lol god this is one of your best posts

    My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.

  • FinancialNoviceII's picture

    Funny you bring this up because I cut off contact with two people, one who I considered one of my closest friends very recently.

    The one I regret the most is probably losing touch with my brother. Haven spoken to him in 6 years.

  • manbearpig's picture

    This guy's friends lost a friend for a stupid reason:

    Garry Hoy (1955 - 9 July 1993) was a lawyer for the law firm of Holden Day Wilson in Toronto. He is best known for the circumstances of his death; in an attempt to prove to a group of his partners at the firm that the glass in the Toronto-Dominion Centre was unbreakable, he threw himself through a glass wall on the 24th storey and fell to his death after the window frame gave way.[1][2] He had apparently performed this stunt many times in the past, having previously bounced harmlessly off the glass. The event occurred in a small boardroom adjacent to a boardroom where a reception was being held for new articling students. Mr. Hoy was a noted and respected corporate and securities law specialist in Toronto.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garry_Hoy

    -MBP

  • In reply to manbearpig
    swagon's picture

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