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Wall Street Oasis » Forums » Monkeying Around
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Have you ever lost a friend for a stupid reason?
 

Will Hunting's picture
Will Hunting
      IB
 
(King Kong, 1,231
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 10:22pm

I haven't talked to my best friend of 7 years for almost 2 years because we got into a fight over him not being able to drive somewhere. Stupidest reason ever and I've been thinking about how dumb it really was. Reason being, he just went into the marines after turning down a scholarship to NYU and I don't know how I would react if I were to find out something bad happened to him over there.

What about you guys?

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.
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Tags:
  • loser
  • friend
  • baller
  • Monkeying Around
WSOusername's picture

i was about to say "yea, 1

WSOusername
     
 
(Senior Gorilla, 950
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 10:32pm

i was about to say "yea, 1 car crash and 2 o.d.s" but then realized that wasnt what you were asking. To your question, the answer is no. I have a penis thus I don't hold grudges. I've stopped talking to friends before because I've realized they were pieces of shit, but I wouldn't call that "losing a friend" as much as "realizing they weren't one".

GBS

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bumpthethread's picture

Never really lost a friend.

bumpthethread
     
 
(Senior Monkey, 94
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 10:50pm

Never really lost a friend. But I just gotta say - there's really only 10-20 friends that I truly "care" about. They are the ones I constantly talk to/text and the ones I would go out of my way to arrange a meet-up. The rest are really just glorified acquaintances.

Just think about that one friend you know who has 1000+ friends on Facebook. Really, think about it - how many of those do you actually talk to?

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helpmepleasethx's picture

I agree with bumpthethread,

helpmepleasethx
     
 
(Gorilla, 524
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 11:04pm

I agree with bumpthethread, although I only facebook friend people I've had conversations with, I definitely agree that there are only about 20 or so friends who I truly care about.

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blastoise's picture

i love all my guild mates

blastoise
      O
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 4,380
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 11:09pm

i love all my guild mates when I quit some of the most baller mfers I ever met, had awesome guild cook outs. Guild leader owned a golf course nothing like watching the raid leader snap IRL when we wiped on a mob first pull because some one yealed FORE

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FlakieBear's picture

Will Hunting: I haven't

FlakieBear
     
 
(Gorilla, 502
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 11:14pm
Will Hunting:

I haven't talked to my best friend of 7 years for almost 2 years because we got into a fight over him not being able to drive somewhere. Stupidest reason ever and I've been thinking about how dumb it really was. Reason being, he just went into the marines after turning down a scholarship to NYU and I don't know how I would react if I were to find out something bad happened to him over there.

What about you guys?

What's stopping you from giving him a call (skype), sending him a letter/email?

It's never too late to make amend with whoever you shared a great friendship.

He probably feels like shit sometimes for letting go of the friendship.

Send him a letter/email. Write about how childish you both were and how you would love to buy him a drink when he is back. Depending on how he reacts, you will an opportunity to rekindle the friendship, laugh at what happened, and catch up.

Keep in mind that people do grow apart, so even if you don't become as close as before, you will at least have him as an acquaintance.

Power and Money do not change men; they only unmask them

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Frieds's picture

Will, I honestly think that

Frieds
      AM
 
 
(Neanderthal, 2,530
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 11:19pm

Will, I honestly think that it depends on the relationship. It's rare that I'd give up a friendship. It only happened to me once in my lifetime. My advice to you is get in touch with him and just make amends. It's harder than you think to lose a friendship of serious value. Even if it is just a letter getting back in touch with him, it'll be for the better and allow you to rekindle a friendship.

And yes, I have lost a friend. Let's just say I'm happier because of it. He asked me to do his friend a favor prior to his New Years Eve Party party. It was a multiple day affair and I took care of doing the favor that Saturday night. So, I take care of it and he decides he wants to hide and eavesdrop on the conversation between me, his friend and a third party about said favor. He then flipped the fuck out at me because I did that favor despite not liking the favor. Not only that, he couldn't see the problem everything posed and where there were levels of interpretation to be had - particularly those that could be construed by any rational person. He blamed it all on me and I took the brunt of the punishment. His friend and the third party got none of the blame and he blamed me for the entirety. He nearly threw me out of his house after I had been drinking (kinda heavily too - and when I pointed that one out, he said to stay down stairs and enjoy my suffering in the cold since I wasn't welcomed up in his place any more) and after he realized that if I got pulled over and told the officer that I had been drinking at his house, he had thrown me out and put me in the position to get pulled over while driving drunk, he would have had some serious legal issues to deal with. That was the only thing that could convince him that it was better to have me stay the night. When I left the next day, I just thanked him and left. That Monday, I get a call from his girlfriend who was stark raving mad about them breaking up. He broke up with her because he said "She was in on the entire thing and knew what was going on." This was in the middle of the first trading day of the new year and she's flipping out. So, I tell her I'll fix this and I get a hold of the guy as soon as the market is closed and I'm out of the office. At this point, I'm sitting at the bar when I call him with a Manhattan sitting in front of me because I knew this was a shitty phone call and 45 minutes later, I got him to take her back. I called her, tolder her I fixed everything and all she said back was "fuck you, I never want to see or hear from you again. You ruined my life." For the next 18 months, I would not even see or speak to him again. I tried to reach out and apologize to him a few times because I wanted to be the bigger man.

Needless to say, I ran into the two of them about 8 months ago. I was in Philly visiting with my old Boss who was now working in Philly instead of splitting time between NYC and Philly like he used to and he and I had gone out for dinner and drinks. We were at the bar having drinks with some of his business contacts while waiting for the rest of our party when I spied my former friend and his fiance being seated. I heard through a mutual friend of ours that the two were now engaged, so I sent them two glasses of champagne as a congratulations. I saw a little commotion from their table as the waiter pointed me out. She comes over with her glass of champagne and says to the group I'm with - "Don't trust this fucking douche bag. He'll fuck you over, lie to your face, stab you in the back and do it with a smile. And when you ask him to clean it up, he refuses outright unless you twist his arm." - and then throws her drink at me and then scurries back to her fiance. He sees this, comes over and says "You deserved that. Now leave us alone, I said I never wanted to see you again and I mean it." before walking back to his fiance and I haven't seen them since. My former boss and his friends are just looking at this in awe wondering what the hell happened. I told him the whole story and he got a kick out of it.

I guess it just comes down to who the person is and what they mean to you. If it's important to save the friendship, then do it. If it's not, then it's not worth keeping. Only you know the ones that are and aren't.

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bumpthethread's picture

@Frieds What's this favor????

bumpthethread
     
 
(Senior Monkey, 94
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 11:33pm

@Frieds

What's this favor???? I can't imagine a favor so severe that it causes this much drama.

By the way - you should have knocked the fuck out of him when he said "you deserved that."

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swagon's picture

Junior year of college, I had

swagon
      EN
 
(Neanderthal, 2,970
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 11:36pm

Junior year of college, I had a particularly raunchy pillow fight with one of my bros. He hit me in the vagina pretty damn hard. I was so pissed I stopped shoe shopping with him then we eventually lost touch completely. Then I woke up one day and noticed I had a ball sack. "What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I realized I was after all NOT a girl, at which point I stopped losing friends over retarded shit like not being able to drive somewhere (whatever the fuck that even means).

Now, when I do find myself in a retarded argument, I forget about it as soon as it's over and keep on being bros with my bros, because I'm a bro, and bros aren't bitches, bro.

BROLO.

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jgx101's picture

I'd rather have four quarters

jgx101
      IB
 
(Orangutan, 356
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 11:35pm

I'd rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies.

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streetwannabe's picture

swagon: Junior year of

streetwannabe
     
 
(King Kong, 1,320
 
Points)
 on 5/6/12 at 11:41pm
swagon:

Junior year of college, I had a particularly raunchy pillow fight with one of my bros. He hit me in the vagina pretty damn hard. I was so pissed I stopped shoe shopping with him then we eventually lost touch completely. Then I woke up one day and noticed I had a ball sack. "What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I realized I was after all NOT a girl, at which point I stopped losing friends over retarded shit like not being able to drive somewhere (whatever the fuck that even means).

Now, when I do find myself in a retarded argument, I forget about it as soon as it's over and keep on being bros with my bros, because I'm a bro, and bros aren't bitches, bro.

BROLO.

haha +1

"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

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Frieds's picture

Bump, it doesn't matter what

Frieds
      AM
 
 
(Neanderthal, 2,530
 
Points)
 on 5/7/12 at 12:09am

Bump, it doesn't matter what the favor was. All that matters is that the favor caused drama that it shouldn't have caused because my friend was being a douchebag. And I didn't slug him - some times it's just better to ignore that instinct to fight back when it's just not worth it. This was one of those times.

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SonnyZH's picture

swagon: Junior year of

SonnyZH
      HF
 
(Senior Gorilla, 969
 
Points)
 on 5/7/12 at 1:03am
swagon:

Junior year of college, I had a particularly raunchy pillow fight with one of my bros. He hit me in the vagina pretty damn hard. I was so pissed I stopped shoe shopping with him then we eventually lost touch completely. Then I woke up one day and noticed I had a ball sack. "What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I realized I was after all NOT a girl, at which point I stopped losing friends over retarded shit like not being able to drive somewhere (whatever the fuck that even means).

Now, when I do find myself in a retarded argument, I forget about it as soon as it's over and keep on being bros with my bros, because I'm a bro, and bros aren't bitches, bro.

BROLO.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.

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UFOinsider's picture

I've both lost friends and

UFOinsider
      O
 
(Human, 10,345
 
Points)
 on 5/7/12 at 1:09am

I've both lost friends and terminated friendships, but those were extreme cases where there was just no reason to 'work through it'. Family gets 100% effort, friends, well, not so much. Honesly, time heals most wounds. If it's been two years, just shoot them a message saying "Hi, it's been a while, how have you been?" and take it from there. Unless there's some serious underlying issue, most of the time people just needed to do their own thing for a while. You're going to find out what happened to them anyway in the long stretch of life, just get it over with. Who knows, maybe they're over there thinking the same thing.

Just call/text/write and hope for the best.

YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...

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kmzz's picture

i have. was due to them

kmzz
      O
 
(Senior Gorilla, 759
 
Points)
 on 5/7/12 at 1:14am

i have. was due to them falling into a multi-level pyramid scheme and having it absorb their life and filling their head with lies. he thought he was going to make soo much money and told everyone else they were going to be poor (if u didnt buy his company's product, which no one did) and he was going to retire in 8 years (this was in high school)
now that both of us just graduated, after he failed lost his friends and gf due to his change, all he has is a part time job pulling in maybe $25k a year and im quadroupling that. who's the poor one now

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D M's picture

I've stopped a number of my

D M
      O
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 4,809
 
Points)
 on 5/7/12 at 1:29am

I've stopped a number of my friendships (two with what I had considered very good friends), for one reason: they were shitty people, either to me or to EVERYONE else. Probably will happen again. I've never lost a friend because of something I done. I'm a very loyal person and once I consider you my friend I'll go to the end of the world for you if it's needed. I don't, however, put up with people who take advantage of my loyalty.

"WSO is like the 300 for anti spamage. None shall pass." -happypantsmcgee
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer

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Edmundo Braverman's picture

Frieds, I would've loved to

Edmundo Braverman
      ST
 
 
(Human, 14,358
 
Points)
 on 5/7/12 at 1:41am
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Frieds's picture

DM, I totally feel you on

Frieds
      AM
 
 
(Neanderthal, 2,530
 
Points)
 on 5/7/12 at 2:30am
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Kenny Powers's picture

swagon: Junior year of

Kenny Powers
      O
 
(Senior Gorilla, 858
 
Points)
 on 5/7/12 at 10:42am

pick em, lick em, stick em

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FinancialNoviceII's picture

Funny you bring this up

FinancialNoviceII
      CS
 
(Neanderthal, 2,460
 
Points)
 on 5/9/12 at 12:55pm
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manbearpig's picture

This guy's friends lost a

manbearpig
      CO
 
 
(Neanderthal, 3,029
 
Points)
 on 5/9/12 at 11:03am

-MBP

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swagon's picture

manbearpig: This guy's

swagon
      EN
 
(Neanderthal, 2,970
 
Points)
 on 5/9/12 at 7:28pm
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CoochieMane's picture

Frieds: Will, I honestly

CoochieMane
     
 
(Senior Baboon, 186
 
Points)
 on 5/12/12 at 7:28pm
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ZenMaster's picture

Bump. OP, did you manage to

ZenMaster
     
 
(Baboon, 113
 
Points)
 on 12/28/12 at 5:57pm
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The Situation's picture

op have you had your first

The Situation
      O
 
(Baboon, 151
 
Points)
 on 12/29/12 at 4:27pm
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The Company reserves the right, at its sole discretion, to pursue all of its legal remedies, including but not limited to immediate termination of your registration with or ability to access the Web Site and/or any other service provided to you by the Company, upon any breach by you of these Terms and Conditions or if the Company is unable to verify or authenticate any information you submit to the Web Site registration with or ability to access the Web Site.

Indemnity.

You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless the Company, its officers, directors, employees and agents, from and against any claims, actions or demands, including without limitation reasonable legal and accounting fees, alleging or resulting from your use of the Material or your breach of the terms of these Terms and Conditions. The Company shall provide notice to you promptly of any such claim, suit, or proceeding and shall assist you, at your expense, in defending any such claim, suit or proceeding.

General.

The Company makes no claims that the Materials may be lawfully viewed or downloaded outside of the United States. Access to the Materials may not be legal by certain persons or in certain countries. If you access the Web Site from outside of the United States, you do so at your own risk and are responsible for compliance with the laws of your jurisdiction. These Terms and conditions are governed by the internal substantive laws of the State of New York, without respect to its conflict of laws principles. Jurisdiction for any claims arising under this agreement shall lie exclusively with the state or federal courts within New York, New York. If any provision of these Terms and Conditions are found to be invalid by any court having competent jurisdiction, the invalidity of such provision shall not affect the validity of the remaining provisions of these Terms and Conditions, which shall remain in full force and effect. No waiver of any term of these Terms and Conditions shall be deemed a further or continuing waiver of such term or any other term. Except as expressly provided in additional terms of use for areas of the Web Site a particular "Legal Notice," or Software License or Material on particular Web pages, these Terms and Conditions constitute the entire agreement between you and the Company with respect to the use of Web Site. No changes to these Terms and Conditions shall be made except by a revised posting on this page.

PRIVACY POLICY

The Company recognizes that you are concerned about privacy. We are committed to preserving your privacy and safeguarding your sensitive information. The following statement describes the general information-gathering and usage practices of our sites.

Our staff, contractors, Internet service providers and others involved in this site follow this policy or similarly strict policies regarding your Information.

Disclosure

The Company is committed to fully disclosing our policies regarding the collection, use, maintenance, disclosure and security of personal information obtained from users of our site. The term "personal information" includes a name, address, email address, or any other information which could be used to contact you directly or to identify you personally.

Use and Disclosure Limitations

The Company only uses personal information about its Web site users for specific purposes. We do not share user information with third parties except when we have told users about the disclosures, when we have prior consent, or when required by law.

Use Policy: When the Company gathers personal information from users, we ask for permission first. We also disclose, at the time of collection, how the information will be used by us. Personal information is used for activities such as auto-completion of commonly-used forms and helping us contact you when you solicit information from us.

Disclosure Policy: We do not normally disclose personal information to anyone outside of the Company unless we have previously informed users about the disclosures. However, some data may be used from time to time by outside contractors, including auditors or consultants, to assist us in carrying out necessary financial or operational activities. These uses will be consistent with this privacy policy and all contractors using this potential personal information must agree to safeguard it, to use it only for the authorized purpose, and to return it or destroy it upon completion of the activity.

The Company might be required to disclose personal information in response to a valid legal process such as a subpoena, search warrant or court order.

Although unlikely, it is possible that we may have to make certain disclosures to ensure the security of our Web site, to protect its integrity, or to take precautions against potential liability. In any of these situations, we will take any reasonable steps to limit the scope of the data disclosed.

Web Logs: The Company maintains standard Web logs that record basic information about visitors to our Web site. These logs contain: * The Internet domain from which you came to our Web site. * Your IP address. An IP address is a series of numbers which uniquely identifies your connection to the Internet. Although it is possible in some instances, certain types of IP addresses may be used by interested persons to identify users but we do not attempt to identify users in this way. * The type of browser (e.g., Internet Explorer or Netscape) and operating system (e.g., Windows 98) you use. * The date and time you visited the site, and the pages you saw.

We use Web log information to design our Web site, identify popular features, and in similar ways. We do not try to identify individuals from Web logs or to link Web logs to other user information. However, if someone tries to damage our Web site or use it in an unauthorized or illegal way, we may share Web log information with law enforcement agencies. The Company may provide aggregate information such as the number of users who visit particular pages of the site, or the number of people who link to certain external sites from our site, to other parties.

Changes to Privacy Policy

The Company's features and services will change over time and our information-gathering practices and policies may also change.

While our philosophy of protecting user information from inappropriate uses and disclosures will not change, this policy will be updated occasionally to include any change that materially affects the collection, maintenance, use, or disclosure of personal information.

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  • Hey guys any thoughts on Valence Group? Culture / hours / deal flow etc.? It is the world's largest dedicated chemicals M&A boutique. It looks like a reputable firm with strong deal flow and an excellent track record but it also looks like the kind of place where juniors would get...
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    What's the deal with Fannie Mae (FNMA) and Freddie Mac (FMCC)?
  • Has anyone used this program. It says that they pair you up with an internship experience where you get deal exposure etc. Seems a bit too good to be...
    IB Edge Investment Banking Program
  • Hello, I'm a student in finance and I had a few questions regarding how the prop traders at banks (before the blow-up) traded products like currencies and commodities. - Did they take naked position in futures or did they hedge their positions? - Were the positions usually taken and closed...
    how did prop traders trade?
  • Hello seniors. I am new to this forum. I really need your help with some queries. I will be graduating soon. I am an international student. I want to come to US for higher studies and i want to build up my career in US. Now, I can try for the MSF in 2014 ( as i have no job experience) and then...
    MSF or Gather Job experience and then MBA
  • Apparently the work of back-office employees at DB helped it land a piece of Apple's $17B bond offering. Either the WSJ is a major troll or BO employees FTW....
    DB back office giving double pistols to the street
  • Hi Everyone, I read a lot of these forums a couple years back and they helped considerably in terms of realistic expectations about day to day life as an analyst. I was hoping to return the favor by answering a few questions (if anyone has any) about life as an analyst at a buy side real estate...
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