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Moderator Note (Andy): this was originally posted on 4/24/12
With full time recruiting well out of the way, I thought I would address a more pressing issue at hand- What are you going to blow all that front-office cash on? We all hear about the usual models bottles thing, but flashing coin in the club is so 2007.

I, for one, truly enjoy a great meal. In all honestly, I would much rather spend a few hundred on a dinner date than fist pumping with the boys at the club. So, how does a 20-something-year-old-analyst get into NYC's top restaurants? Apparently, the answer is to bribe your way in.

Take it from Bruce Feller of, a man brave enough to find out if greasing the palms of New York City's maitre d's would really get him into top restaurants like Daniel, Union Square Cafe, Nobu, and Balthazar. The short answer is, yes, bribing works with astonishing ease. Through his little social experiment, he came up with 10 tips that will surely get you and your date past the wait and seated in less than 20 minutes.
1. Go. You'd be surprised what you can get just by showing up
2. Dress appropriately. Your chances improve considerably if you look like you belong.
3. Don't feel ashamed. They don't. You shouldn't.
4. Have the money ready. Pre-folded, in thirds or fourths, with the amount showing.
5. Identify the person who's in charge, even if you have to ask.
6. Isolate the person in charge. Ask to speak with that person, if necessary.
7. Look the person in the eye when you slip him the money. Don't look at the money.
8. Be specific about what you want. "Do you have a better table?" "Can you speed up my wait?" A good fallback: "This is a really important night for me."
9. Tip the maitre d' on the way out. if he turned down the money but still gave you a table.
10. Ask for the maitre d's card as you're leaving. .You are now one of his best customers.

Well, I guess you could also make a reservation a month in advance, but that's certainly no fun. So, grab a gold digging shiksa and try it out, who knows who you might be seated next to.

Have any monkeys here tried to bribe your way into a club or restaurant?


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Comments (62)

  • ginNtonic's picture

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  • In reply to jpmoranmonkeysachs
    UFOinsider's picture

    Get busy living

  • Anacott_CEO's picture
  • Hooked on LEAPS's picture

    Competition is a sin.

    -John D. Rockefeller