Bonus Bananas November 30, 2012

1) Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan Apparently Can't Remember Anything (Rolling Stone) - Obfuscate much? Apparently Moynihan was less than helpful when he was deposed in the MBIA v. BofA et al suit. "I can't recall" is the new pleading the fifth.

2) UBS fined over rogue trading case (CNN Money) - Just in time for the holidays, Kweku Adeboli gets to ruin everyone's bonus check for another year at UBS. On top of that, the bank might be forced to raise capital. This guy is the gift that keeps on giving.

3) What It Was Like to Be a Woman at Goldman Sachs (The Atlantic) - Let me guess, it sucked? Look, she's got some valid points about sexism on the Street in this piece, but to described Goldman as "a frat on steroids" leads me to believe she's never been to a frat, and never seen the effects of steroids.

4) Banned on Wall St.: Facebook, Twitter and Gmail (Dealbook) - I know you guys have come up with some pretty clever workarounds (especially converting your Facebook feed in an Excel spreadsheet; pure genius) for the various bans your employers have put on your having any sort of outside electronic communications at work. This is something Wall Street is going to have to evolve on eventually, though, cuz it ain't going away.

5) Apple Reportedly Fires The Manager Directly In Charge Of The iOS 6 Maps Team (TechCrunch) - Yeah. So much for "We meant to do that." Hit the bricks, pal.

6) When the King of Co***ne Built the General Motors of Drug Trafficking (Worldcrunch) - I've always been fascinated by the drug trade, especially at the upper levels where it really is like running a Fortune 500 company. Whatever else you might think about Roberto Suarez Gomez, the dude was a BOSS.

7) If Every U.S. State Declared War Against the Others, Which Would Win? (Slate) - Warning: this is a lengthy (but well thought out) narrative analysis of all-out civil war in the US. I first wrote about the Balkanization of the US back in 2008, and this guy gives a pretty plausible doomsday scenario of how it might play out.

8) Atom Smasher Creates New Kind of Matter (Space) - The stuff that's coming out of the Large Hadron Collider these days is Sofa King cool. This new type of matter could be the Crazy Glue that holds the universe together.

9) Ala. Man Gets 2 Years In Jail For Videotaped Obscene Act Following BCS Title Game (CBS Atlanta) - Wow. Who knew teabagging an unconscious LSU fan on Bourbon Street and then having the video go viral would land you in the can for two years? Ouch.

10) 'Crowd-funding' site connects dickheads with idiots (The Daily Mash) - If you're looking for a crowdfunding site that is guaranteed to work, it's this one.

Video of the Week:

I must be out of practice having been gone for a month, because I can't for the life of me decide which one of these videos I like better. There was actually a third video in the mix (the

) but the way it blew up all over the Internet I figured all of you had seen it by now. So the remaining two came down to these, and I want you guys to vote in the comments for the one you think should be Video of the Week.

The first is a hilarious short personifying a hangover at work. I laughed my ass off a dozen times watching it and let's be honest, who among us hasn't dreamed of booting on his boss's Park Avenues?

The second entry for your consideration features the holiday rap stylings of my favorite mildly retarded Southern white trash teenager, Krispy Kreme. This is destined to be a Christmas classic. Drop a beat on 'em, Krisp:

That's it for this week, guys. Have a fantastic weekend and let me know what you think about this week's batch of Nanners in the comments.

 

4) I think a lot of this has to do with the old guard at these companies - they don't get tech, they don't have social accounts and they don't understand it so they assume it is evil and should be banned. The sooner this line of thinking dies off, the better.

9) I think it is hilarious this guy gets 2 years in prison for something that happens daily across college campuses everywhere.

10) "A wankerschemes.com spokesman said: “When you put dickheads and gullible idiots together, something magical happen" - Awesome, but the website doesn't seem to exist. Have you heard of a site called fiverr? http://fiverr.com/

You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake, son.
 
Edmundo Braverman:

9) Ala. Man Gets 2 Years In Jail For Videotaped Obscene Act Following BCS Title Game (CBS Atlanta) - Wow. Who knew teabagging an unconscious LSU fan on Bourbon Street and then having the video go viral would land you in the can for two years? Ouch. .

No offense to Eddie and his love for LA, but I think the comments are a hilarious indicator of how uneducated and backward Louisiana is.

"And ironically, the perp is an Obama, big government supporter."

"Tea bagging is a libtard pastime."

"have you ever investigated the illuminati? or the templars and the world banking system?. i have some interesting links about who really runs our world."

 

3 Really, bitching about shoes? Every woman I've worked with keeps heels at the office and wears comfortable shoes to work/home, and many of the men do the same with their dress shoes to keep them from being damaged.

I'd love to see a women only research department. "Macy's to a million a share, they have the cutest coats on sale this winter!"

 

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