1) Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan Apparently Can't Remember Anything (Rolling Stone) - Obfuscate much? Apparently Moynihan was less than helpful when he was deposed in the MBIA v. BofA et al suit. "I can't recall" is the new pleading the fifth.
2) UBS fined over rogue trading case (CNN Money) - Just in time for the holidays, Kweku Adeboli gets to ruin everyone's bonus check for another year at UBS. On top of that, the bank might be forced to raise capital. This guy is the gift that keeps on giving.
3) What It Was Like to Be a Woman at Goldman Sachs (The Atlantic) - Let me guess, it sucked? Look, she's got some valid points about sexism on the Street in this piece, but to described Goldman as "a frat on steroids" leads me to believe she's never been to a frat, and never seen the effects of steroids.
4) Banned on Wall St.: Facebook, Twitter and Gmail (Dealbook) - I know you guys have come up with some pretty clever workarounds (especially converting your Facebook feed in an Excel spreadsheet; pure genius) for the various bans your employers have put on your having any sort of outside electronic communications at work. This is something Wall Street is going to have to evolve on eventually, though, cuz it ain't going away.
5) Apple Reportedly Fires The Manager Directly In Charge Of The iOS 6 Maps Team (TechCrunch) - Yeah. So much for "We meant to do that." Hit the bricks, pal.
6) When the King of Co***ne Built the General Motors of Drug Trafficking (Worldcrunch) - I've always been fascinated by the drug trade, especially at the upper levels where it really is like running a Fortune 500 company. Whatever else you might think about Roberto Suarez Gomez, the dude was a BOSS.
7) If Every U.S. State Declared War Against the Others, Which Would Win? (Slate) - Warning: this is a lengthy (but well thought out) narrative analysis of all-out civil war in the US. I first wrote about the Balkanization of the US back in 2008, and this guy gives a pretty plausible doomsday scenario of how it might play out.
8) Atom Smasher Creates New Kind of Matter (Space) - The stuff that's coming out of the Large Hadron Collider these days is Sofa King cool. This new type of matter could be the Crazy Glue that holds the universe together.
9) Ala. Man Gets 2 Years In Jail For Videotaped Obscene Act Following BCS Title Game (CBS Atlanta) - Wow. Who knew teabagging an unconscious LSU fan on Bourbon Street and then having the video go viral would land you in the can for two years? Ouch.
10) 'Crowd-funding' site connects dickheads with idiots (The Daily Mash) - If you're looking for a crowdfunding site that is guaranteed to work, it's this one.
Video of the Week:
I must be out of practice having been gone for a month, because I can't for the life of me decide which one of these videos I like better. There was actually a third video in the mix (the
) but the way it blew up all over the Internet I figured all of you had seen it by now. So the remaining two came down to these, and I want you guys to vote in the comments for the one you think should be Video of the Week.The first is a hilarious short personifying a hangover at work. I laughed my ass off a dozen times watching it and let's be honest, who among us hasn't dreamed of booting on his boss's Park Avenues?
The second entry for your consideration features the holiday rap stylings of my favorite mildly retarded Southern white trash teenager, Krispy Kreme. This is destined to be a Christmas classic. Drop a beat on 'em, Krisp:
That's it for this week, guys. Have a fantastic weekend and let me know what you think about this week's batch of Nanners in the comments.
4) I think a lot of this has to do with the old guard at these companies - they don't get tech, they don't have social accounts and they don't understand it so they assume it is evil and should be banned. The sooner this line of thinking dies off, the better.
9) I think it is hilarious this guy gets 2 years in prison for something that happens daily across college campuses everywhere.
10) "A wankerschemes.com spokesman said: “When you put dickheads and gullible idiots together, something magical happen" - Awesome, but the website doesn't seem to exist. Have you heard of a site called fiverr? http://fiverr.com/
Saw Krispy on Tosh. If these kids are serious, there is no hope for our future.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but Krispy Kreme is actually an act. He is actually from Flint, Michigan, and was the valedictorian of his high school class (though, that's not saying much). He is also an okay rapper. Check out Tyler Cassidy "Red Alert" on YouTube. It's one his real songs before the act began.
"And ironically, the perp is an Obama, big government supporter."
"Tea bagging is a libtard pastime."
"have you ever investigated the illuminati? or the templars and the world banking system?. i have some interesting links about who really runs our world."
Also, I know way too much about Krispy Kreme. That is bad, and I feel bad.
As far as #4 goes, can't you just use your smartphone (if you have one) as a work around?
Krispy Kreme is amazing.
Saw Krispy on Tosh as well, I am pretty sure he is autisitc. In the video he looks in good shape though so I wonder if it is all a joke and he only acts like that to get more hits.
I would love some John Cena pajamas
Mad respect for Krispy:
8) funny my hadron creates a crazy-glue like substance too. usually when i'm sleeping.
7) is gold.
I'd love to see a women only research department. "Macy's to a million a share, they have the cutest coats on sale this winter!"
Blanditiis dolores consequuntur ad facere reprehenderit possimus ut veniam. Reprehenderit dolores ipsum dolorum sint pariatur eos quas. Mollitia eos ipsa id praesentium nesciunt at optio.
Totam est et et est dolorum. Culpa assumenda qui qui quasi totam culpa non. Quas illo dolores mollitia a quasi et. Voluptatum ut cupiditate earum cum perferendis eum velit. Tenetur aut illo quia corrupti omnis corporis repellendus. Et sed at a expedita iusto sed est. Sed facilis officia sit in ut repudiandae.
Sit minima veritatis laudantium corrupti. Qui voluptas et repellat magnam. Aliquid fugiat qui impedit qui natus. Cumque eos repudiandae quo eveniet. Nobis suscipit similique nemo ea tempore vel necessitatibus. Perferendis autem facilis distinctio voluptatem. Quidem qui rerum quos similique veritatis.
Rerum reprehenderit laborum ex modi. Laudantium nihil nostrum nostrum. Deserunt sapiente nobis in cumque. Non unde facilis tempore.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...