Why is iBanking culture so conservative?

fuck puppies

Same thing here: got to spend some time at a media company and going back mine felt like going to prison.

It's is all image and tradition. I really doubt it amounts to anything more than that - there is no reason that offices can't be fun and functional.

At the same token, look at it from a clients perspective...would you want to pay huge M&A advisory fees to some dudes playing ping pong and modeling away on a bean bag chair?

Very true, my girl works in advertising and at her firm, they can dress relatively casual and bring pets to work.

"Grip some Red Bull and shut the fuck up, kids—everyone has to put in dues. You think Scott Kapnick was bitching about long hours when he started out? What would have become of King Leonidas if instead of braving the cold and killing that beady-eyed wolf, he had just set his spear down on his desk and ran away like a sissy? They would have ended up like you, UBS: jobless."

http://www.leveragedsellout.com/2007/09/thank-you-for-quitting/

The world needs order, and on top of that order has to be investment bankers (actually the top of the order is PE/HF, but I digress). I'd much rather have to wear a suit and deal with day-to-day bullshit rather than make $30k a year, share a 4 bedroom 20 minutes from the PATH in Hoboken with a bunch of dudes, and save up for $2 draft night at some shithole all for the consolation of a red bull fridge and playing with puppies at work.

I'd work in a black hole with puma's if I got paid more. Different priorities dude. Some people want to pet their dog and "work" 35 hours a week. Other people want to get paid bro.

Clearly you're not made for high finance so please go play ping pong at "work" with your totally cool tattooed dudes and let people who enjoy a classy, tasteful and conservative environment work in finance

Probably because the only reason bankers exist is because of conservatism. Bankers hedge the risk of boards and CEOs from liability (legal and looking like a complete moron -- at least if something goes wrong from a strategic standpoint you can blame "those bankers!"). If you don't look the part of some well-heeled conservative establishment, you lose your credibility as a hedge against liability.

Hear is another thought. Up until recently most places were just like banks. Cubes, business casual, etc. Office Space type stuff. Some places need creative people (advertising, marketing, whatever) and an office space that is conducive to this is beneficial.

The whole "cool" office phenomena is rather new. I personally could care less what my office is like, but not everyone is like that.

Also it depends on what you consider "cool" in an office space. I interned at an AM firm last summer (ya i know not ibanking but bear with me) that had a very conservative layout (cubes, off-white walls, etc). But, it was on top of one of the tallest buildings in the city. Most of the other tenants of the skyscraper were ibanks. Each morning we had views of the fog rolling in and at night we could see the city lights go on as we left the office. It was actually pretty sick... for someone who enjoys views at least.

I'd take that any day over some abandoned warehouse with pool tables and kRaYzEe wall paper.

I'd check back and see how that "digital media" company is doing in 24 months

You are like most people, the swanky office offers an appealing place to work for you. Difference is they offer that because they work 12 hour days for $30k entry level, $60k senior level. Banks don't need to waste money or time doing this shit for a workplace that has people doing the same tasks day in and day out.

Also, not all banks are like this. Interviewed at a bank 3 weeks ago for another job and the desk areas had white dry-erase boards for walls with bright red edges to everything. I personally disliked it but it was not bland at all.

Bring a client into your office, let them see "...pool tables, red bull fridge, people just sitting around chatting (apparently doing work), the boss playing with his puppy, and 2 other dudes playing ping pong", and let me know if you win the mandate.

As if the financial services industry doesn't already catch enough shit for high salaries, you want potential clients and the uniformed public to see more "excess"?

Think about it.

I think a lot of it is the "desire" to work. Banking is mindless excel/PPT work, so if you give someone the opportunity to go play Xbox, ping pong, etc. instead of working then they probably will. For engineers at Google, I imagine they are genuinely interested in their work, and so having distractions there such as video games, and parking lot roller hockey are a way for everyone to decompress and take a break, but not a distraction from creating an end product.

[i am quoting milehigh here but i dont know how to quote people, i'm on my ipad]

I have done over 2y in m&a and i cannot genuinely remember one task i have done that was totally mindless When i was doing trading comps as an intern, i would always read the business description parts of the annual reports or 10k i was downloading to get familiar w the company, understand why the senior guys wanted them in the comps (exactly the same product? Geography? Same business model in a different subsector?), i was reading the notes on the pensions, the provisions etc to choose which provisions to include in the bridge etc etc. When finished i would ask myself "so why in this sub sector, companies are trading at 13x and not at 10x like the previous one i did? Why they all have at least 2x leverage while the internet comps i did previously were net cash? Etc etc

When i was doing this sponsor led process heavy sell side (the worst kind for an analyst i guess),and that i had to constantly update and format the buyers log, i would be sure to understand what this new comment from a md means in terms of changing the dynamics of the process, why this Indian conglomerate could be interested in our company, go check ghe website of this small PE i didnt know to see if they have the dry powder to buy our company, look at their previous investments to see their favourite sectors etc. i would ask my vp if i could be on alll the calls he was doing with the buyers to see how he was doing to sell our company (he was not very analytical but a great salesman), what were the key points to highlight, how his speech was changing when talking to Chinese buyers vs. sophisticated PE etc

When i was copy pasting the answers from the company executives to the q&a file, i was always reading them to get more familiar with the vocabulary, the issues etc related to each division (hr, IT etc), i was trying to reformulate them (They didnt really speak English and English is not my native language)

Im actually the kind of guy who enjoys going into a dataroom and reading all the random documents on the company like the contracts of the executives or their legal issues

On the other hand, i would hate being a developper at Google (i couldnt stand the programming classes i took in college, it bores me to death)

So to each their own

But when i read people in ib complaining how it's mindless and how google must be so cool, i think that maybe they just chose the wrong job? So i think it's a good thing if the culture stays conservative and it prevents people who just want to earn more than their "friends" and boast about their perks and cool office from going into ibd

There are plenty of fun things to do in banking offices. For example, you can see who can knock out the most analysts with a printer in a week. Or, you can take bets on who will have the longest constipation or diarrhea streak due to the stress. You can even see who can whack it under their desk the most in one week.

You just have to have creativity, man! Google-type offices appeal to young idiots who need a piece of tech to have fun. Banking offices appeal to preftigious bros who know how to make their own fun without a bunch of toys and gadgets.