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Bonus Bananas June 14, 2013
1) 39-year-old ex of retired 83-year-old Wall Street exec is now on welfare — and thinks she deserves more $$$ ( NY Post ) - Now I'm not saying she's a gold digger... Heartwarming story here. Side note: if you've been in the business 52 years and you've only got $26,000 to your name, you're doing...
Bonus Bananas June 7, 2013
1) SAC Will Not Become A Family Office, President Says ( FIN Alternatives ) - So there you have it. Despite the fact that nearly all outside capital has been redeemed and the company is left with Stevie's dough, they're not going to become a family office. Glad they cleared that up. 2) This Simple...
Bonus Bananas May 31, 2013
1) 11 Horror Stories About The Killer Exam That Wall Streeters Will Be Taking This Saturday ( Business Insider ) - Thought I'd lead off this week with this gem. If you're taking the CFA tomorrow, you're gonna wanna read this to settle your nerves. 2) Blankfein Leads Bank CEO Pay With $26 Million...
Bonus Bananas May 24, 2013
1) Bloomberg Best (and Worst) ( Bloomberg ) - Awesome new research tool from Bloomberg. This is seriously cool and very comprehensive. Going to help a lot of us find a jumping off point for analysis. 2) Deja Vu on the Hill: Wall Street Lobbyists Roll Back Finance Reform, Again ( Rolling Stone ) -...
Bonus Bananas May 3, 2013
1) Crestline Launches Zombie Fund Effort ( FIN Alternatives ) - Zombies are all the rage on Wall Street right now. First Danielle Morrill called out all the zombie VCs in this post , then Fred Destin threw his hat in the ring over here . Now Crestline is organizing a fund to buy up all the zombies....
Bonus Bananas April 26, 2013
1) Algo Trading Saves Mark Cuban Millions During "Twitter Twitch" ( Streambase Event Processing Blog ) - Maybe all those bots running around the exchange aren't such a bad thing after all, Pretty interesting analysis of the recent AP -driven Twitter Twitch and the negligible effect it had on...
Bonus Bananas April 19, 2013
1) Barclays fat cat Rich Ricci retires at 49 just weeks after pocketing £18m shares windfall ( Daily Mail ) - This guy might be the most hated banker in the UK right now. Among his many sins, he flies a private jet to Ireland each weekend to watch his horses work out. Now everyone is screaming for...
Bonus Bananas April 12, 2013
Sorry I'm late guys. I got hung up touring the Presidential Suite and drinking champagne at the Hotel Crillon before it closes until 2015 for renovations. Let's rock: 1) No Marriage PitchBook – Project Two Chainz ( Wall Street Playboys ) - If you thought the Babydick Capital pitchbook was funny,...
Bonus Bananas April 5, 2013
1) MF Global Trustee's Report Blasts Former CEO Corzine ( Wall Street Journal ) - Good God. Is it possible this scathing report will be the wooden stake through the heart of Jon Corzine's career? Seriously, how many chances does one guy get? I wouldn't let this guy work the register at McDonald's....
Bonus Bananas March 29, 2013
1) Income At Home, Herbalife, and the $8 billion pyramid ( The Verge ) - If you're a casual observer of the Herbalife donnybrook, this new wrinkle will entertain you. If you actually have money to the short side, this will enrage you. I still can't believe the FTC is refusing to do anything about...
Bonus Bananas March 22, 2013
"It's days like these that keep me on my winning streak." - Butch Walker and the Let's Go Out Tonights Let's rock: 1) Traders Short Junk-Bond ETFs as Gains Top 100% ( Bloomberg ) - Apparently there's a little too much froth on the junk bond latté, because credit traders are hedging with ETFs in...
Bonus Bananas March 15, 2013
Boy, have I got a story for you guys next week. Here we go: 1) Short-Seller Sues Icahn , Banks For Aiding Herbalife 'Fraud' ( FIN Alternatives ) - Look up "Wishful Thinking" in the dictionary and you're gonna see a picture of this guy's face. I'm all for what he's doing, but he's got about a...
Bonus Bananas March 8, 2013
1) Bitcoin: more than just the currency of digital vice ( The Guardian ) - Top billing for this Guardian piece because it was easily the most fascinating thing I read this week. I had no idea you could buy recreational drugs online and have them delivered, and pay for it all with BitCoin. Little by...
Bonus Bananas February 22, 2013
My dad would've been 82 today. Happy birthday, Dad. Now let's get to it: 1) Paulson Leads Funds to Bermuda Tax Dodge Aiding Billionaires ( Bloomberg ) - If you're a hedgie looking for a reason to vacation in Bermuda, now you have one. Send your money on vacation and skip paying all those pesky...
Bonus Bananas February 15, 2013
1) Gangster Bankers: Too Big to Jail ( Rolling Stone ) - Taibbi's hit piece on the travesty that is the HSBC settlement. We had a lively debate on the site over this. I wonder if this piece will change anyone's mind. 2) RIM’s old CEO is so impressed with BB10 that he dumped all of his 26.8M shares...
Bonus Bananas February 8, 2013
I gotta go quick this week because I got stuck in a meeting and I'm way behind, but we've got some great stuff here (including an absolute MUST READ at #10): 1) PIMCO 'S Gross sees U.S. economy on road to extinction ( Reuters ) - Admittedly not the cheeriest read to kick things off with, but...
Bonus Bananas February 1, 2013
1) EDWARD I. KOCH, 1924-2013 Colorful, Candid New Yorker Who Led City Through Crises ( New York Times ) - "...as opinionated as a Flatbush cabby, as loud as the scrums on 42nd Street, as pugnacious as a West Side reform Democrat mother..." NYC lost a true icon this morning. Rest in peace, Mr. Mayor....
Bonus Bananas January 25, 2013
1) In Defense of Morgan Stanley 's 'Nuclear Holocaust' ( CNBC ) - Why on Earth would you name a CDO something mundane like Stack 2006-1 when you could call it something catchy like "Nuclear Holocaust", "Mike Tyson Punchout", or my personal favorite, "Shitbag". I would totally buy that. 2) Ask A...
Bonus Bananas January 18, 2013
1) JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon Pushes For Bank To Publicly Shame Him ( Huffington Post ) - Here's a nice ploy to save your bonus. Go ahead and publicly flog me for The Whale, but make sure my name is spelled right on the bonus check. 2) Ben Bernanke: Get rid of the debt ceiling, it has no practical...
Bonus Bananas January 11, 2013
1) Secret Goldman Team Sidesteps Volcker After Blankfein Vow ( Bloomberg ) - Sneaky, sneaky Goldman. But either I'm more in the know than I thought or these guys aren't really that secret, because I've been hearing about MSI for awhile now. 2) Deutsche Bank To Cut Investment Banker Bonuses by...
Bonus Bananas January 4, 2013
First Bonus Bananas of the new year. Let's rock: 1) AIG uses ad campaign to thank taxpayers for bailout ( Politico ) - When I first saw this I thought, "Geez, how 'bout rub a little salt in the wound?" But now I'm thinking it's actually a pretty cool idea. As much as I hated TARP , it is good to see...
Bonus Bananas December 14, 2012
1) Alexandra Lebenthal: The new queen of Wall Street ( CNN Money ) - Most of you are too young to remember her father, but Alexandra Lebenthal is a chip off the old block. The muni-bond queen has taken back her family name and heads the firm established by her grandparents. I love stories like this....
Bonus Bananas December 7, 2012
1) Morgan Stanley CEO: More bank deals on the way ( CNN Money ) - James Gorman sees a lot more bank consolidation on the horizon. 2) Another Goldman Creature Given Vital Government Post ( Rolling Stone ) - Another rant by Matt Taibbi, this time showcasing the appointment of ex-Goldmanite Mark Carney...
Bonus Bananas November 30, 2012
1) Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan Apparently Can't Remember Anything ( Rolling Stone ) - Obfuscate much? Apparently Moynihan was less than helpful when he was deposed in the MBIA v. BofA et al suit . "I can't recall" is the new pleading the fifth. 2) UBS fined over rogue trading case ( CNN Money...
Bonus Bananas October 26, 2012
Sorry I'm late, guys, but I actually caught somebody trying to steal $11,000 from me this morning. Bizarre. The balls on some people. Here we go: 1) ‘Rogue trader’ Jérôme Kerviel loses appeal ( France24 ) - Poor, poor Jerome. Looks like he's gonna do three years and cough up five billion after...
Bonus Bananas October 19, 2012
1) Greg Smith Quit Goldman After ‘Unrealistic’ Pitch for $1M ( Bloomberg ) - Greg Smith definitely got the last laugh. Goldman launched an internal investigation into him and Bloomberg got their hands on it. It's pure gold, and no one will ever be able to tell Smith he didn't have balls. When GS...
Bonus Bananas October 12, 2012
1) More Evidence That Wall Street's Bonus Pool Is Getting Drained ( Business Insider ) - According to the NY State Comptroller's report, 2012 could be a strong bonus year for traders but a pretty ugly one for investment bankers. Bonuses look to be lower across the board this year, with exceptions...
Bonus Bananas October 5, 2012
Sorry I'm late this morning, guys. Here's this week's Bananas: 1) The Number Of B-School Grads Going To Wall Street Has Plummeted ( Business Insider ) - Probably won't surprise any of you who are already in the business, but the drop in MBAs going to Wall Street is pretty significant. 2) Five...
Bonus Bananas September 28, 2012
1) Wall Street’s Invisible Men ( New York Magazine ) - The notion of "letterhead hires" is one of the things that turns my stomach about today's Wall Street. There was a time when bankers left the Street and went into government out of a sense of civic duty (Felix Rohatyn, for example). But the...
Bonus Bananas September 21, 2012
1) Vulture funds seeking fresh meat ( NY Post ) - It's hard out there for a pimp. There just aren't enough major US corporations going tits up anymore. You gotta feel bad for these guys. 2) Istanbul Aims to Outshine Dubai With $2.6 Billion Bank Center ( Bloomberg ) - It's a struggle for me not to...
Bonus Bananas September 14, 2012
1) Citi to lose $2.9 billion on Smith Barney sale ( CNN Money ) - Ouch, quit it. I think everyone agrees the sale was best for all involved, but $3 billion is one hell of a hickey to take. Good thing it's all TARP money so it doesn't count. 2) UBS "rogue trader" fraudulently gambled away $2.3 bln,...
Bonus Bananas September 7, 2012
1) BofA Right to Fire Broker Who Mooned His Boss: Court ( CNBC ) - Regardless of this recent legal setback, Jason Selch has my undying admiration. 2) Wall Street and 'aggressive sexuality' ( Aljazeera ) - That's right bitches, Aljazeera. This article came out around the time of the DSK scandal and I...
Bonus Bananas August 31, 2012
1) Derek Peterson, Terra Tech Founder, Ditched Wall Street For Marijuana Business ( Huffington Post ) - This is something right out of Breaking Bad. Derek Peterson started a side business making mobile hydroponic labs while at Morgan Stanley . MS found out and promptly fired him. So now he's doing...
Bonus Bananas August 24, 2012
Ok, I'm in a goofy mood today, so that's gonna reflect in this week's Bananas: 1) Lab technician arrested after he is found drunk with his pants down... surrounded by monkeys ( Daily Mail ) - Did somebody forget to mention this WSO Conference after-party? Sounds like shit got out of hand... 2)...
Bonus Bananas August 17, 2012
1) Morgan Stanley Unit Fined Over Trader’s $1.3 Billion Bet ( Bloomberg ) - Alright, this one is just baller. This 31-year old trader had a $116 million trading cap and he got a wild hair up his ass one night and ran up $1.3 billion in trades. When the dust settled, he'd only lost $15 million (oh...
Bonus Bananas August 10, 2012
1) Why Wall Street Likes LinkedIn More Than Facebook ( Forbes ) - I posted this one just for Patrick. 2) Bypassing Wall Street ( AVC ) - Fred Wilson writes about what I've long suspected: Wall Street has done so much to damage the integrity of the stock market since 2007 that many astute investors...
Bonus Bananas July 27, 2012
1) Facebook earnings: Good, but not good enough ( CNN Money ) - Figured I'd lead off with what will probably be the top financial story today. It is gonna be an ugly open for Facebook if last night's after hours trading is any indication. 2) The Real Wall Street Dress Code ( The Reformed Broker ) -...
Bonus Bananas July 20, 2012
1) How Jamie Dimon hid the $6 billion loss ( CNN Money ) - It ain't easy hiding a whale, especially a whale everyone knows is there. How do you cover a $6 billion loss in a quarter? Why, take the money from your loan loss reserves, of course! (Wait...that's a bad idea, right?) Doesn't hurt to...
Bonus Bananas July 13, 2012
1) Double whammy: He invested in PFG and MF Global ( CNN Money ) - How bad does it suck to be this guy? After getting Corzined in the MF Global mess, Andreas Diessbacher thought he'd play it safe and transfer what remained of his assets to a hometown Chicago firm - PFGBest. Doh! 2) JPMorgan Silence...
Stub-Bonus Bananas - July 6, 2012
Happy Friday, everybody. I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but it totally feels like a Tuesday thanks to the 4th falling on a Wednesday, doesn't it? Anyway, I hope everyone had a quiet week and a great Independence Day. Without further ado, here are this week's stub-bonus bananas... Libor Scandal...
Stub-Bonus Bananas - June 29, 2012
Happy Friday, folks. I've got a fresh batch of Stub-Bonus Bananas for everyone to digest. Obviously, the biggest story of the week was the Supreme Court's ruling on Obamacare, but that's not the only thing worth reading about. Without further ado, here are some links to help get you through your...
Stub-Bonus Bananas - June 22, 2012
Uncle Eddie is out today, so I’m subbing in once again and delivering a helping of Stub-Bonus Bananas for you to enjoy. Without further ado, here are some links to help you get through your Friday morning… Larry Ellison buys Hawaiian island (LA Times) - Larry Ellison continues to be the...
Bonus Bananas June 15, 2012
Some weeks there is just too much awesome stuff. Enjoy: 1) Goldman Sachs Hires Single Morally Decent Human Being To Work In Separate, Enclosed Cubicle ( The Onion ) - Might as well start out with a laugh. I can't believe this is the first time in a year and half I've ever run something from The...
Bonus Bananas June 8, 2012
1) Kerviel’s Refusal To Be Scapegoat Seen Harming Appeal Bid ( Bloomberg ) - I have to hand it to this plucky French kid. Even though it's probably scuttling his appeal, Kerviel refuses to take the blame for the SocGen loss - claiming his bosses knew what he was doing the whole time. Of course...
Bonus Bananas June 1, 2012
1) Woman Who Couldn’t Be Intimidated By Citigroup Wins $31 Million ( Bloomberg ) - I'm not quite sure how I feel about this story. On one hand, it's an inspirational tale about a woman with no education rising from bank teller to VP of Citigroup . On the other hand, she profited handsomely from...
Bonus Bananas May 25, 2012
1) Strippers in Paris Go on Strike, Say Wages 'Miserable' ( CNBC ) - Quelle horreur! When I first heard this I couldn't believe it, but it's true. The girls shut down the Crazy Horse cabaret for the first time since it opened in 1951. Then I looked into it a bit and realized that the girls were...
Bonus Bananas May 18, 2012
1) How Mark Zuckerberg Hacked the Valley ( Business Week ) - Today we're all going to witness the biggest IPO of all time, and that's pretty damn cool. But how did a geeky college drop-out get us here? This article reveals how Zuckerberg transitioned from basement coder to Silicon Valley virtuoso.
Bonus Bananas May 11, 2012
1) Dawn Loggins, Student, Heading To Harvard After Being Homeless, Abandoned By Parents ( Huffington Post ) - Thought I'd kick this week off with an inspirational story about a girl who had a crap childhood and managed to overcome the odds and be admitted to Harvard. Her miserable upbringing put her...
Bonus Bananas May 4, 2012
1) Facebook Seeking IPO With Market Cap Of $86 Billion ( Forbes ) - So the IPO date is set for May 18th and it looks like the deal is going to value between $77 billion on the low end and $96 billion on the high end. Anyone else see the irony that the potential range of the Facebook valuation is...
Bonus Bananas Apr 27, 2012
1) Aviva Mistakenly Fires 1,300 Employees at Investment Unit ( Bloomberg ) - DOH! I thought I'd start this week's Bonus Bananas off with a little comedy; at least it's comedy in retrospect. Massive UK insurer Aviva mistakenly fired the company's entire investment unit by email when the email in...
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