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Academia Sinks Its Hooks In Young
 

Edmundo Braverman's picture
ST
(Human, 14,702
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 8:40am
pranks-menatwork-590.jpg

I think you guys will get a kick out of this, because I sure did. My boys are home for summer vacation. They're 7 and 9 years old, and they're about to enter second and fourth grade, respectively. We were walking home from lunch today when, out of the blue, my 9-year old asks me, "Dad, did you go to college?"

Now, I suspect he knew the answer because I'm sure we've talked about it at some point, but maybe he couldn't get his head around it. So I answered, "No, I didn't go to college." After a moment of silence, my 7-year old speaks up:

"So you're a dirtbag?"

He was completely sincere, and I really had to fight to stifle a laugh. Then his brother piles on:

"Yeah, dad. You're a dirtbag if you didn't go to college."

Back to the 7-year old:

"People who don't go to college have to pick up trash and be a garbage man." he pauses, "How come you're not a garbage man?" Again, he's completely sincere, but this time his tone is not one of "How did you beat the system?" but more of "Garbage man's a pretty cool gig, how did you fuck that up?".

By this time I can't help myself and I'm chuckling. I ask them, "Who told you that if you don't go to college you're a dirtbag?" My early suspicion rests on my wife, just because that's the kind of thing you probably tell your kid if you want them to stay in school. Still, it doesn't really sound like her, and in a lot of ways she's perversely proud of the things my uneducated ass has accomplished.

Neither one of them will immediately cop to where they heard it, so I press them. Finally the 9-year old gives it up:

"That's what the teachers say in school."

A-ha.

I have to admit I was kinda surprised that they're being indoctrinated so young. I don't necessarily object because I do place a lot of value on education, but I'm not sure I agree with the not so thinly-veiled elitism that goes into using garbage men as a cautionary tale.

I generally view academia outside the STEM disciplines as the world's largest (and costliest) circle jerk. It's designed to keep people paying tuition for as long as humanly possible, and we're starting to see the deleterious economic impact of that practice in the burgeoning student loan crisis.

If that weren't bad enough, however, now my kids think I'm a dirtbag (which was inevitable at some point, of course, just not this soon). And for that I'm paying out the ass. I got the bill for their next year's tuition a couple weeks ago and I'm not exaggerating when I say that I'm paying more for my 7-year old to attend second grade than was spent on the entirety of my own education.

Guess I shoulda been a teacher (at least when garbage man didn't work out).

Comments

Vi's picture

I learned more from Khan

IB
(Orangutan, 305
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 8:49am

I learned more from Khan Academy in a week than I did in a semester worth of schooling. Traditional schooling needs a complete overhaul.

Nabooru's picture

I think it goes both ways. I

HF
(Gorilla, 689
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:10am

I think it goes both ways. I chose my professors carefully at a school where I effectively paid basically nothing and have had the fortune to have been taught by some truly caring professors. Funnily enough, these professors were not in any of the STEM disciplines but in liberal arts classes. I can honestly say that even though I love open source education, I received some invaluable education - especially in business and writing - that's vastly improves my functionality. Then again, I did go to (some) of my classes to learn and didn't waste my time. In defense of the liberal arts I would say that even thought you should have some type of business or STEM degree, a minor in liberal arts does a good job of helping you be well-rounded. It's really what you make of it, I guess. But in no way should it give someone a sense of elitism. I'm sure most garbage men are more respectable people than a majority of the students at my college.

Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?

D M's picture

That is obnoxious, I'd call

O
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:13am

That is obnoxious, I'd call your kids' teachers out on that shit. You know the spineless pricks will piss themselves.

"WSO is like the 300 for anti spamage. None shall pass." -happypantsmcgee
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer

happypantsmcgee's picture

Just fax a copy of your w2

O
(Almost Human, 9,627
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:16am

Just fax a copy of your w2 over to their teacher and ask them if they could find such an awesome garbage man gig.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Nabooru's picture

As an aside I find the best

HF
(Gorilla, 689
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:16am

As an aside I find the best judge of character at work to be seeing who says hi to and thanks the cleaning lady

Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?

melvvvar's picture

i majored in Klingon at

(King Kong, 1,693
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:17am

i majored in Klingon at Goucher and the sense of entitlement it gave me was worth every penny.

In reply to Nabooru
D M's picture

Nabooru: As an aside I find

O
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:29am
Nabooru:

As an aside I find the best judge of character at work to be seeing who says hi to and thanks the cleaning lady

respec.

"WSO is like the 300 for anti spamage. None shall pass." -happypantsmcgee
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer

grapefury's picture

Keep in mind teachers have

(Baboon, 120
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:31am

Keep in mind teachers have every incentive to keep stuffing the idea of school = money + success.

It's like accountants lobbying to increase financial regulation of all businesses..

In reply to grapefury
Edmundo Braverman's picture

grapefury: Keep in mind

ST
(Human, 14,702
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:37am
grapefury:

Keep in mind teachers have every incentive to keep stuffing the idea of school = money + success.

Ever tried to explain conflict of interest and moral hazard to a 7-year old?

D M's picture

PS- If Notorious is a legit

O
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:37am

PS- If Notorious is a legit source, the garbage man is making more than your kids' teacher

"WSO is like the 300 for anti spamage. None shall pass." -happypantsmcgee
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer

BlackHat's picture

School is the single biggest

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:40am

School is the single biggest waste of one's time. Unfortunately, like most things, everyone has a misconception about its benefits and here we are stuck having to endure it for the first 25% of our lives. I think it's pathetic that we're prisoners to it, and the longer you stay in the system the more fucked up you come out the other side. There's a reason so many people run back to academia once they get a taste of the real world, and it's not because they wanted to "enrich themselves" intellectually. It's because they couldn't fucking handle being a real human being.

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

That_Aston's picture

School is also the primary

CF
(Gorilla, 575
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:42am

School is also the primary bastion of liberalism. At least people like Scott Walker know what to do with these unions/teachers who almost always turn out to be hypocrites.

Here to learn and hopefully pass on some knowledge as well. SB if I helped.

Going Concern's picture

I heard that garbage men in

(King Kong, 1,865
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:53am

I heard that garbage men in NYC can make 100k. Not sure if that's true, but if it was I wouldn't be that surprised.

You have to play the game to find out why you're playing the game.

UFOinsider's picture

Personally, I'd find out what

O
(Human, 10,458
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:57am

Personally, I'd find out what teacher said that and go tell them that you're paying their salary with your dirtbag ass. If you find them offensive, ask them why their sorry college educated ass depends on your paycheck, but that part is optional. I definitely would inform them that not having a college degree and being a degenerate are a correlated relationship more than a causal relationship.

melvvvar:

i majored in Klingon at Goucher

LOL hilarious. Two jobs ago, I worked with a guy that majored in alchemy. True story.

I just had my first UFO experience.

I called my wife fat while we were making dinner.

Flying saucers everywhere XD

melvvvar's picture

before you kids get

(King Kong, 1,693
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:02am

before you kids get yourselves in a lather, realize that mr. eddie is an outlier. most of you will not be able to succeed without finishing college and slaving away for 25 years to sock away retirement wealth. the days of gut trading are over and even if you wanted to be a trader like him, you'd need crack programming skills to start and most of those guys at least drop OUT of MIT or caltech, which means they were IN at some point.

having worked with both bankers and traders of the modern school, i know that bankers are actually a hugely anti-intellectual bunch, but once you put enough time between getting through your first IBD job (for which you had such raging hard-ons) and when your life really begins, the parts of college where people in the tweed coats were telling you about stuff will have a lot more meaning.

In reply to melvvvar
TonyPerkis's picture

melvvvar: i majored in

AM
(King Kong, 1,616
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:08am

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk

That_Aston's picture

Nabooru also had a great post

CF
(Gorilla, 575
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:11am

Here to learn and hopefully pass on some knowledge as well. SB if I helped.

In reply to TonyPerkis
melvvvar's picture

TonyPerkis: melvvvar: i

(King Kong, 1,693
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:15am
In The Flesh's picture

"My education was only

HF
(Neanderthal, 2,881
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:15am

Head of Metal Website: www.headofmetal.com

https://twitter.com/headofmetal2012

In reply to melvvvar
D M's picture

melvvvar: before you kids get

O
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:21am

"WSO is like the 300 for anti spamage. None shall pass." -happypantsmcgee
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer

couchy's picture

althought this is changing

(King Kong, 1,386
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:24am
In reply to couchy
Edmundo Braverman's picture

couchy: If your highschool

ST
(Human, 14,702
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:27am

In reply to D M
melvvvar's picture

D M: melvvvar: before you

(King Kong, 1,693
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:35am
D M's picture

I see what you're saying,

O
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 10:41am

"WSO is like the 300 for anti spamage. None shall pass." -happypantsmcgee
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer

happypantsmcgee's picture

Never let school get in the

O
(Almost Human, 9,627
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 11:43am

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

In reply to couchy
bees415's picture

couchy: althought this is

(Monkey, 43
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 11:48am
In reply to bees415
GS's picture

bees415: couchy: althought

ST
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 11:54am
Ron Paul's picture

Eddie, in a few years watch

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 12:07pm
In reply to bees415
kidflash's picture

bees415: couchy: althought

IB
(Gorilla, 736
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 12:14pm
In reply to kidflash
BlackHat's picture

kidflash: Ya, some people

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 12:21pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

In reply to happypantsmcgee
That_Aston's picture

happypantsmcgee: Never let

CF
(Gorilla, 575
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 12:40pm

Here to learn and hopefully pass on some knowledge as well. SB if I helped.

In reply to BlackHat
bees415's picture

BlackHat: This. The

(Monkey, 43
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 12:42pm
In reply to kidflash
Going Concern's picture

kidflash: Ya, some people

(King Kong, 1,865
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 12:48pm

You have to play the game to find out why you're playing the game.

In reply to BlackHat
The Fisher Account's picture

i completely agree with the

(Monkey, 34
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 12:53pm
In reply to Going Concern
Senvik's picture

Going Concern: I heard that

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 1:53pm

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer

In reply to Senvik
UFOinsider's picture

Senvik: Going Concern: I

O
(Human, 10,458
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 1:57pm

I just had my first UFO experience.

I called my wife fat while we were making dinner.

Flying saucers everywhere XD

In reply to BlackHat
Senvik's picture

BlackHat: kidflash: Ya,

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 2:01pm

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer

In reply to UFOinsider
Senvik's picture

UFOinsider: Senvik: Going

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 2:03pm

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer

Husky32's picture

The problem is that everyone

(Gorilla, 595
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 2:04pm
In reply to BlackHat
jacksooon999's picture

BlackHat: kidflash: Ya,

(Baboon, 118
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 2:44pm
In reply to BlackHat
labanker's picture

BlackHat: School is the

PE
(Orangutan, 333
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 2:48pm
In reply to labanker
BlackHat's picture

labanker: The problem is, if

HF
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 2:51pm

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

WSOusername's picture

College is a joke. Everyone

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 3:12pm

GBS

In reply to jacksooon999
labanker's picture

jacksooon999: The notion

PE
(Orangutan, 333
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 4:01pm
Amphipathic's picture

I highly reccomend watching

 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 4:35pm
In reply to jacksooon999
couchy's picture

jacksooon999: The notion

(King Kong, 1,386
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:12pm
In reply to Senvik
Bondarb's picture

Senvik: UFOinsider: Senvi

HF
(Neanderthal, 2,356
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:28pm
In reply to Amphipathic
melvvvar's picture

Amphipathic: I highly

(King Kong, 1,693
 
Points)
 on 7/30/12 at 9:31pm
leonrox's picture

Personally, I think a higher

(Monkey, 41
 
Points)
 on 7/31/12 at 2:47am

I know that diamonds mean money for this art, but that's not the shape of my heart.

Aimez's picture

Edmundo Braverman: If that

CO
(Orangutan, 299
 
Points)
 on 7/31/12 at 6:01am

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