Would you date or marry a girl who is still a virgin and wants to wait till marriage
.......Would YOU wait till marriage before loosing it if you haven't already...
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No. If she has to wait till marriage, then that implies a lot of other things about her personality, beliefs, mindset, etc that are personally huge turnoffs for me.
This. If a woman is willing to wait till marriage there is something crazy about her personality, which means she is a HUGE no go.
Better yet, FUCK NO.
That's fucking stupid, let people have their beliefs. Who are you to say that it's crazy? If I really love her, I would wait.
that translates to "I'm sleeping with all your friends, but you have no idea"
lol
A lot of girls put on the chaste act when they want to lock someone down and a lot of dweebs will fall for it.
If you truly believe that a broke girl who’s spent the last 10 years partying and getting blackout wants to take take it slow with you because she’s some virginal angel who just hadn’t yet met “the one”, you deserve whatever you’re getting.
sex is too important a part of a relationship for me to find out we're not compatible after marriage. If someone cant accept that, we wont get on, thus no marriage.
Date, sure. Marry, no.
Do you buy a car without taking it out for a test-drive first? Didn't think so.
This reminds me of that one scene in Ace Ventura, where Jim Carrey wonders how to check if a girl is a virgin.
Why would you this? You're effectively saying you'd date a girl with 0% chance of having sex. There's another term for that kind of relationship: "friend".
If you know up front she isn't going to have sex until after marriage, and you know you aren't going to marry her without first having sampled the goods, well.... see the problem you have? You're stuck in a sex-less limbo forever.
I have met 2 girls who have said that they "want to wait until marriage", who were actual virgins (OP's girl is not). I decided to date them regardless, because I enjoyed their company. For the first girl, after about 6 weeks in, we ended up sleeping together. It should be noted, that I didn't bring up sex at all; she was the one who initiated it. The second girl gave it up in 2 weeks.
My point is, what women say, and what they want/do are very different things.
NOPE - your wife is going to be crazy enough, can't imagine what it would be like if you took her vcard too.
Even for religious purposes? If it was a woman who is so physically beautiful, amazing personality, fun to be around, intelligent, and loves you to bits and has had other sexual encounters in the past, just not penetrative V-Sex
Well, if that's the case, then provided that she's fertile, loyal, and not a religious nut job, I can't see any reason why not.
I'm assuming the "other sexual encounters" were with me. If not, the hypocritical whore can go fuck herself.
Unfortunately no they weren't with me. She said she's now a better christian and would not do what she did in the past unless in a marriage...
No. Fuck no. Fuck, fuck no.
Dated a girl for a couple months that didn't do anything beyond making out for religious reasons. She was awesome in every other way but I just couldn't handle it. It's not something I can put up with.
As someone said, that type of attitude carries a lot of implied meaning and reasoning I'm not comfortable with.
how do you know she's a really a virg?
Sure, why not? Personality is what matters.
Think about it. Whoever is more fun to be around is always going to take the cake. Since a lot of people on this thread seem to view virginity negatively, but does it really matter?
If you're given the choice between dating a chick who's a lot of fun to be around, always wants to go out and do stuff, but happens to be a virgin, OR a chick with a lot of "experience" but who is sullen/mean/a total stick in the mud, you're going to want to date the former. Don't pretend you wouldn't. Personality trumps all the rest (except maybe looks).
Agree. Personality is what matters
Yes. And 90% odds that they're a nutjob. Not hanks.
All my current friends have a great personality, I don't need another one......
nononononononono
Nope, never
Yes, always... I like girls who can stand up to their principles and not easily swayed by her surroundings. If she were like what you said "physically beautiful, amazing personality, fun to be around, intelligent, and loves you to bits", i don't see why sex would matter much. If you love her and like to be around her, then sex is just an extra add-on.... Personal opinion: I don't fancy girls who easily sleep around with men... And where else would you find a girl who's still a virgin nowadays? I say she's a keeper...
Question: Is she asian btw? If she is, then this whole virginity thing kinda makes sense.
No, she's black and an evangelical christian
Thanks by the way. I agree with you lol (obviously)
Sounds like you have low-T... probs a good idea to talk to a doctor.
Hell no. I am just stating my opinion. Ok, sex does matter to a certain degree. But, after marriage and stuff, what matters more is her personality and whether you could live with her 24/7 without going nuts... and i could always get an easy fuck somewhere else...
If she gives really good head and doesn't mind doing it on command, then it wouldn't really matter. This is assuming she's not a religious nut job and any other stereotype that comes along with waiting until marriage. If she can choke one down like a pro, she's probably going to be decent in bed, too. If not, you always have the former haha.
hahahahahahahahah
I think it's possible to test if you have chemistry without having sex. Perhaps make sure she's willing to experiment and have fun in the bedroom? I mean, I don't think you'd want someone who isn't open to new things. My boyfriend had to teach me everything cause I didn't know anything about the male anatomy. I was the girl who closed her eyes & covered her ears in those awkward health classes...
I don't blame her for wanting to wait till marriage. If anything, I wish I had done the same thing. I was with a guy for 3 years, we knew exactly what kind of lifestyle we wanted & talked about kids & etc. He proposed & I slept with him. He was a virgin too & we were each other's first bf/gf. In the end he left me cause he didn't know if what we had was love & his jewish parents didn't really help since they were always suggesting him to date other girls to know if what we had was the real thing cause they didn't want him to marry a non-jew. I thought I had found the one or whatever - I wish I had saved it. Because of this experience, I will no longer have sex with another guy till marriage. I can't respect myself anymore if I have sex with another douche.
So yeah, don't blame her for wanting to wait till marriage. She's just looking out for herself. Make sure you both have the spark or chemistry or whatever though. The last thing you'd want is a sexless marriage..
We connect really well and there are sparks...clear feelings when im near her and away from her and i think its the same for her
.
if she's super hot, super smart, on her way to becoming a lawyer or some shit, and will pay the rent and have my babies then YEA.
just put it in her butt until then...
what about if it was something not prestigious like trafic law?
She studied economics at university and got a 1st
that means she'll let you put it in her butt?
I mentioned her degree to point out she's not dependent on me financially, she is only 22 and trying to get a role as a junior analyst
^^^ lawl
i dont care if it's ambulance chasing as long as i dont have to work.
I'm wondering what we could say for you to think the other way. You came to this forum to ignore the naysayers and thank those that would support your clearly faltering belief (otherwise you wouldnt ask the question).
Every single resource regarding the positives of no sex before marriage are christian based organisations. I assume you are not a devout believer, or we wouldnt be having this debate.
Look at the evidence, only people who have a religious reason to rationalise this, preach it (or their parents do). There can't be any other positives to it, or there would be more takers.
Sadly, the statistics regarding successful marriages will also be very jaded, since anyone devout enough to not fornicate before marriage will also be in the divorce is a sin category.
Actually you are wrong. There was a guy who wanted to test the exact thing you just said and thought there was less rates of divorces in Christians. The results of his survey were surprising and turns out there is a higher divorce rate amongst them.
so she's a christian that doesnt do sex before marriage because... but takes it in the ass which is completely not against the fictional book they all quote.
snog marry AVOID.
That's in her past...she said she'll no longer do these things till marriage
well find yourself another girl and when she gets married she can come find you. :)
I'm very biased against religious nuts. Making decisions based on no evidence is a real burn I have with humanity.
LOL
sucks to be u
I think this thread has ended lol
thought you were joking when you said she took it in the butt lol
If I'm completely honest, I think she'll start initiating that she's okay with having sex before marriage..She's just not the type to naturally stay away from the ish lool...I just don't want to pressure her haha
yes, yes you do.
The test for this is to cut yourself, if the blood is red. then you do.
I am Indian. So this is actually preferable :P.
Most prestigious way to lose your virginity? Should I round the number of bitches I bang to the tenth?
This girl has been railed in the ass by another guy, but refuses to have sex with you. Your thinking about marrying her??????
This. It all makes no sense
This topic is bringing out the simps of WSO.
The intolerance ITT is distasteful, it sort of reminds of the sort of attitude men once had towards promiscuous women 50 years ago.
I've only been in 2 relationships and I waited a month before giving it up to the first guy. My current man is the real deal, and while he doesn't care that I had a previous relationship, I think it would've been special if he had been the only one. Like another poster on the first page of this thread, I wish I had waited.
I have plenty of friends who have chosen to wait, and I can guarantee that they are not nut jobs. They're confident, happy, socially popular, emotionally healthy women who are working as corporate lawyers, consultants and bankers.
And yes, we're all Asian (South Asian), since that came up earlier.
Maybe being narrow-minded about other people's ideas, and stereotyping all virgins as crazy religious freaks from small towns, is not a very smart way to think.
Also, if you think you can't train a virgin to be sexually compatible with you, you REALLY have no experience of life. Case in point: Boyfriend #1 pretty much took the tabula rasa version of me and molded me exactly to his liking. Took a bit of adjustment when I hooked up with my current BF, and we're serious as hell about each other even though we had different sexual tastes when we first got together. So if sexual compatibility is your argument against virgins, I think I just proved it isn't necessarily true.
one month? am i the only one who feels one month isn't long. I wonder how long you guys were talking before making it official.
Yes, it would have been a short time if we hadn't known each other. I had known him for slightly more than a year before we started dating, and he had been trying to convince me to date him for five months. I was strongly attracted to him from the beginning, but held out because he had a reputation for being a player/asshole/man-whore. He managed to convince me I was wrong, but it turned out my first instinct had been right anyway. You live and you learn.
I agree that virgins can have great sex after a bit of training. The issue most of us have is with women who are no longer virgins, who pretend as if they are and hold out on sex. If you're a virgin, and want to wait until you're married so that your husband is the only man you want to have slept with, that's fine, and indeed admirable. However, if you had sex before, you can't play the virgin card anymore.
Yeah, I don't get the "anal doesn't count" and "I got my hymen sewed back up" women either.
Except that you and bf #1 are no longer together, and while we can't prove that it wasn't for a whole host of other reasons which it likely was, you absolutely can't claim that it proves sexual compatibility.
I wouldn't say that breaking up and sexual compatibility are mutually exclusive, and I remember clearly that we enjoyed each other, but fair enough, I can't prove it beyond doubt.
you being one data point != all women can be sexually compatible
i mean i could definitely mold whoever but i'm talking about the rest of the people on this board. i think that's a very serious consideration prior to marriage and considering how likely divorce is over being unsatisfied with partner performance, i don't know how people do it.
One month? LOL.
I live in bible country. One month waits are for the whores. That's why you have to be juggling a few simultaneously.
How does this topic even merit 60+ posts? Unequivocal answer should be no.
This has been a very interesting thread. Personally, I would give it a shot. I know enough married couples, most of whom have kids, and none of them have much sex...so I think her personality and your ability to deal with it goes a long, especially after the 'honeymoon' phase is over.
Now, if I'm being completely honest, I would take pause with a girl that didn't do anything with me and even if she claimed she wouldn't do anything with me until we got married, I would probably push the envelope because I do think it's an important part of a relationship (more so on the front end, than the back end...no pun intended). When you first get married and it's just the two of you, sex is going to be a huge part of your life. Later when the kids roll out, not so much. If you are looking for someone to have great sex with the rest of your life...then don't get married, because people tend to get tired of one another and it's bound to happen eventually.
On top of all that above...I think it can actually be tough to have bad sex, especially if you have feelings for the other person because you just automatically have a certain comfort level and understanding of one another. Plus, as others have mentioned, you can get videos and books and training guides that teach you what to do...so I wouldn't be concerned.
Honestly, if I was with a girl and she refused to have sex with me, even after months of dating and all the 'intangibles' that the OP listed...I would tell her to dump me because I was a loser and weak at my game. I've had many girls that spew that line about wanting to be serious and take their time and they are the first to fall. It's probably been the case with 4 or 5 different girls that I met and had naked a short time later...and I'm no Cassanova...just a nice guy that wants to get it in, lol. I recently met a 40 year old, for the first time while at a brunch with some mutual friends. We exchanged numbers and the conversation quickly went from normal to sexual. She swore she wouldn't hook up with me because of our age difference...the second time I saw her she ended up back at my place.
As someone else pointed out above, most girls want to take you for a spin just as bad you do them...but they have certain thresholds they want to meet before moving things forward...most likely because they don't want to feel slutty or used. Prime example, I met up with the 40 year old from above a day after our encounter to return her camera and to have brunch. She voiced her discontent with my lack of cuddling after we had sex. I told her that I was sorry and that it costs extra. She said it made her feel cheap and I told her good...she just fucked a guy she didn't really know after only seeing him twice in her life...is there any other way to feel?
If a relationship got serious and you were going steady (Do kids still say that?) then my guess is most would give in...especially if they are just 'born again'. The real virgins would probably be more inclined to avoid it but being a nice guy...and not the asshole that just wants their virginity...can go a long way to making her feel comfortable enough to give it a go. My bet is girls think this through much more than guys do and because of that, it's of more concern to them. Despite the males here on WSO complaining about how the sex might not be good...chances are it will be more than enough for you to get off and, at the end of the day, that will be all that matters. That isn't the case for most girls so I would bet they are, at the very least, mildly concerned about how much the guy knows, if he can navigate her body, how big his dick...or isn't...and whether or not he is going to ejaculate 30 seconds after they start and always leave her unsatisfied. I guess my point is...I don't know many guys who complain about their girlfriend or wife or fuck buddy getting off too soon and leaving them hanging, lol. Girls also care about foreplay and intimacy. Most guys I know are like, "Holy shit, I think my dick's about to get hard...bend over and pull your thong down!"
On the surface I would have a hard time not moving a relationship forward if things were as great as the OP makes them out to be but, on the other hand, I've never been in that situation so I'm certainly speaking out of ignorance.
Regards
The maturity level in this thread is surprisingly disappointing.
Do you ever consider someone else's contextual background? That because someone has a different perspective than you, it automatically makes that person a "pscyho Christian"?
What about the thousands of things that you two have in common? For example, my girlfriend is ambitious, non-argumentative (no headaches), super bubbly, friendly, and geeky. She's a track athlete at her school and is majoring in Comp Sci at a tier 1 university. She's everything I could want, and more.
I've been with so many girls sexually, but the level of connection I feel with her is unbelievable. It's special, and amazing, and dare I say....soulmate material?
I really hope all of you get to experience that someday.
Because your biological clock is ticking. And marriage is NOT about love; you can love several people. It's about tolerating someone for 50 years, good and bad. And when you're so young, maybe it's hard to grasp that concept of time since it's double your current life up until this point. But when you get married, it's the small talk that matters. The habits you two form, the small pet peeves.
Yes, sex is a big deal and I'm sad that she's waiting till marriage. I'm sad that I might never get another blowjob in my life. But there's so much more there, and on such a deeper level.
Maybe I sound really old right now. Or incredibly naive. But maybe...I'm just incredibly rationale about how I view this.
To sum it up...
We're not supposed to judge a book by its cover. But the cover sells the book. But damn, what if it's a really fucking amazing book?
Sex can be a deal breaker, but hey, I encourage y'all to at least give it a shot. You never know.
You sound like an awesome guy. I wish you the most happiness with your girlfriend, and hopefully, future wife. I hope I find someone with the understanding and empathy you have in the future.
Had a reborn virgin ex-gf, she got that stupid idea after a few of her sorority sisters decided to be holly again. She started going to church on a regular basis and tried to convert me. Needless to say, sex was more rare than me winning the lottery.
On our 1 year anniversary she pulled that card on me and say that she no longer will have sex because of her believes and will wait until we are married. I told her to get the fuck out of my apt in the middle of the night. Wasted my $80 on going to Red Lobster with her sorry ass that night, bitch won't even blow me.
LOL
wish i had SBs for this dude
You did the right thing man, fucking unbelievable
Should have got some cheese biscuits to go....works every time
Yes, because she wont have nothing to compare me with...buy oral sex is a must..what if you find a schlong down there :S
Is anal off the table as well?
does she do anal? there are girls that just wont do vaginal
Yes but not with him LOL.
Sounds legit marriage material. Go ahead mate.
how the fuck do you spend 80 bucks at red lobster
she likes lobster and wine and I like pussy and ass, but only she got what she like and left me hard and blue.
It was a lot of money back in college especially when I had to support myself. Also, there was none of this $15 4 course meal going on back then.
I love Red Lobster. I realize it is the Applebee's of seafood but i don't give a shit it is delicious.
Cheddar bay biscuits, man.. cheddar fucking bay biscuits.
she obviously did not have enough wine bro. imagine if you spent 90 bucks....
Playa!!!
Awesome.
^^^ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Funniest shit right there!!
So let me get this straight. You get all the emotional bullshit of a relationship and none of the sex benefits? The bitch better be mad hot. Like MAD HOT. But then again hot chicks and virginity don't seem to go together that often.
hah, nice. 6 weeks isn't very much conviction.
If I were a man, hell no would I marry a virgin (maybe, only if she was willing to put out during the engagement). But the fundamental problem is that I don't want be someone's "only". If things go sour that is something she can throw in my face, and if the relationship is heading for divorce, I think she would resist even more because of the virgin thing than because she still loved me. As for dating, I don't date unless it's headed for marriage, so again, no. And if you start the relationship without sex, guess what she'll think is an optional part of marriage after you are together?
As a woman, men reveal their true personalities in bed. Would you really want to risk ending up with a man that cannot satisfy you? And I would never want to be a guy's first, why should I have to deal with all that awkward stuff? If you're a virgin and want to avoid slut-status, why not just keep your partnership to a low number and only in committed relationships? Count on one hand, and if that doesn't work, count on two hands. But please have sex, women have orgasms too.
As for - Blow Jobs are Back-Door Privileges.... those are even more sacred than regular sex. Girls that do that stuff, but say no to intercourse just to walk around with some holier-than-thou attitude make the rest of us sexually-healthy women want to smack them in the face. Regular sex is fun for everyone, oral and anal are things to "save" for the men who deserve it.
Marriage is a legal agreement. Sex is an emotional expression of love. I am not going to rush a major financial agreement because I want to express my love.
This is the best answer I've seen so far on here :)
cph for the win.
So you don't care if the person you marry has a great personality?
What is your definition of virgin (Clinton Jokes with mixed metaphors ensue)?
lol no mr superman no home
Hilarious post on the BB.com forum about this topic.
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=156634373
BUMP
Would you put a down payment on a car before getting in and taking it for a test drive?
Before or after you buy the $2K laptop for it?
Exactly! People are just like machines!
Exactly! You understood my analogy perfectly!
OP, please confirm that your gf took it up the butt by another dude.
it's actually not the virgins implying anything. it's actually you are implying everything. it's your right to choose but don't impose your thought on others.
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