Relationships while establishing yourself
Hello everyone,
I was curious to know how you feel about getting into a relationship or being with someone while trying to establish a career. What if that person does not have the same aspirations, but is a great individual? More importantly, if you really care about that person and she wants to get married, but that's not where you mentally at in your life. I would like to here some people thoughts about this matter.
perfectly fine. I assume since you're just getting launched he/she will not be dependent on you. just see how it goes for several months, be candid about what you do and your focus with it, and once you get to around 6 months, talk about the future if it hasn't come up. not marriage, but career futures, what that means, etc.
my girl has no desire to make the kind of money I want to make, but she's a hard worker and she is very good at what she does. I'm completely fine with it, and honestly I think it helps, she evens me out. I'm hyper-competitive (I want to win more than I want to have sex sometimes...sometimes), and I think if she was like that, our personalities would be too much for one house.
the key is, if she's lazy and unmotivated, you may have problems, if she just has different priorities, you could be fine. combinations like introvert/extrovert and liberal/conservative and yankees/red sox can work. what can't work in my mind is if she has a lack of respect and understanding for what you want to accomplish, same goes for you. if you don't respect her viewpoint, don't do it.
bottom line, it can work, but it takes work (like anything worthwhile in this world).
Are you reasonably attractive? If so, there's absolutely no reason in the world why you should submit yourself to working in IB.
Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Having kids and a successful marriage can easily be compatible with a career in banking. I have plenty of friends who are successful at what they do, and in happy relationships. True, time might be an issue at first, probably your first 2 years as an analyst won't be easy to date and enjoy life as much; as soon as you become an associate you'll have more time as you will start to delegate some of your tasks. You might end up in DCM or ECM, this can also be a bit more relaxed than M&A financials at GS... You still will work hard, but some of your week ends will be yours. You will never have to quit because you have kids.
For your background it is true you will be potentially be a minority at your workplace, but who cares? That should never be an issue. Your biggest worry should be that you will be in NY or London! And the dating scene is quite intense there. I've shared flats with a lot of girls in London, and with all the time in the world, trust me, their dating life is as hard or harder than for the bankers :)
You earning more than somebody else should not be an issue. As long as your boyfriend is happily employed somewhere and is stable in his life and happy with himself, it should never be a factor.
Now if you are looking to find the one tomorrow, and can't wait a few years before marriage. You probably should look into something else than banking; otherwise, put your grunt years in. And reap the benefits of enjoying a fulfilling career. Most of my friends are from Associate to Directors in banking and they all have a good life now (some associate suffer still a little, but at the VP and Director level life is much better). I personally work in market, and hours are amazing, and that's still considered banking and I have time to have a very active social life after work.
Long story short: go for banking, I really hope you do, as more women should be in the workplace they tend to think better than men!