Cold e-mail, lukewarm or even hot? Feedback welcome!

Good day chimps and gorillas,

So I am currently in a MO role and I am trying very hard to break into IBD. Unfortunately, I realised a bit too late that this is what I really want and now I kind of aiming to get this internship, below junior FT if you will, experience.

I understand that short concise e-mails is preferred and I have adhered to this and created following:

**Hi XXX,

My name is XXX and I graduated one year ago with a master's degree in finance. I have up until now started my career on the markets side within XXX.

I believe that mid-market M&A is tremendously interesting and I have been monitoring your firm for a while. ( here i write 1 sentence about the specific firm I apply to).

If you experience a high deal flow and are in need of a driven junior who can assist in tasks such as due diligence, valuation, modelling and administrative tasks I am definitely interested. Would you be available for a talk? I would be very grateful for the opportunity to talk about (the firm) and how I can position myself for an internship.

Attached is a copy of my resume.

Best regards,

TomFord**

Note that this is not written in english (since I am located in a non-english European country). I would like feedback on the general format rather than language here.

I also understand that in an American context, you should build rapport by developing a relationship. My gut instinct tells my that Europeans see "through that" and prefer a more direct approach, am I right or wrong?

Cheers!

 
Most Helpful

Hi XXX,

My name is XXX. I am reaching out to you because I have developed a strong interest in M&A over some time, I have therefore been monitoring FIRM. I have started my career on the market side within collaterals but the spark for IBD has been growing stronger.

I see that you have been in advisory since the start and I am curious how you experience your niche here in GEOGRAPHIC REGION and how a positioning into M&A might look like. I understand your hectic schedule, but if you have time for a short conversation I would be very appreciative.

Regards,

What do you guys think of this? This is less direct, and more invested in the person adressed.

 

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