What the fudge Goldman!?

I generally don't like to list things that make me mad. Otherwise, this server would crash quite often.

There are certain times, however, that watershed moments occur and and action is needed. Little things make a big difference and considering the way the whole street mimics Goldman, pretty soon we will all be told to wear pacifiers.

Goldman is setting another bad precedent. First they let the SEC extort them in broad daylight and now they are putting an electronic messaging muzzle on all 34,000 of their employees.

Now, I get that using POS to describe the SEC in a televised debate is not good for a BB's image. But this is going way too far. Way too far. It is stripping the essence out of Wall Street. You can't make Bergdorf into K-Mart! Ferraris are not meant to by hybrids! This is like making me watch a deliciously vulgar Richard Pryor stand-up routine on an airplane full of Franciscan nuns while flying to Denver.

Naturally, this brings up the inescapable arguments of whether "WTF" or "STFU" can be deemed excessive. Are we for real people? Is banning any outlet of testosterone really the way to improving the economic situation in this country?

Perhaps you jokingly email a colleague "Mexican coffee beans? GTFO...sell, sell, SELL"

Next thing you know, you're collecting unemployment and the federal government is taking you to court for defamation, deforestation and immoral deprecation. Who knows maybe they even deport you to Arizona.

Now, I am more then aware of the image problem bankers are having lately. Hell, whenever it rains the healthiest grass is guilty for growing. That's just how humans are. But taking the profanity out of internal communication does so much more then sterilize image, it also sterilizes drive, ambition and the lust for life that drives us to take risk and reach for success.

For centuries men have used profanity as a means of letting off steam and relating to each other on an informal comical level. Valuable tools when you are down in the trenches and make no mistakes about it gents, the trading floor is a battlefield and high finance is war!

We need more vulgarity, not less. We need the guts to get in our co-workers' faces when they are doing a lousy job and let them know, by promptly comparing them to solid waste. We need to be able to communicate like the apes that we are!

We here on WSO have experienced the panic that a simple pair of gilded testes can create! Everything is NSFW. The way things are going pretty soon WORK WILL NOT BE SAFE FOR WORK!!!

I want you to take two minutes out of your day and watch the following video.

Many of you have heard about it, or know the words. But listen to the feeling, find the dread in that means eye and connect to it. You may not see it now, you may be pacified by "being lucky to be here" and "those are the rules" but in time you will feel like this man.

This has got to stop. Monkeys to your battle vines, it is time we take back the Street!

I'm Midas Magoo and I should have cursed by now.

Comments (21)

Jul 29, 2010

+1

Jul 29, 2010

Great post, you SOB.

Silver banana..

Jul 29, 2010

Great post... used my last credit.

Jul 29, 2010

"work will not be safe for work"

great read

Jul 29, 2010

Great Post

"This is nucking futs"

-GS HR

Jul 29, 2010

I just got mad..... awesome post

Jul 29, 2010

Well then, let me be the first to dissent.

I agree with this move by Goldman. While a company should not have to go as far as to implement this policy (it should already be part of the culture), I don't see why this is as extreme as you are making it out to be. It is pretty clear by now that e-mail can and most likely will be subject to subpoena during investigations and the last thing you need is to give ammunition to those that are looking to attack you. Banning profanity from e-mail is just a first step in a PR campaign that will hopefully help Goldman should anyone have to subpoena their e-mails in the future. Maybe, just maybe, they will not have to defend why an employee can write "St, I sold these fking d****hebs worthless pieces of st and they just bought it because we are f**king Goldman Sachs.

If the firm feels confident using profanity in every day conversation, fine. Still, there is no need to leave a traceable history of profanity in discoverable documents for the public to see. If you have dirty laundry, maybe you shouldn't hang them in public.

Jul 29, 2010
MaturationOfShane:

Well then, let me be the first to dissent.

I agree with this move by Goldman. While a company should not have to go as far as to implement this policy (it should already be part of the culture), I don't see why this is as extreme as you are making it out to be. It is pretty clear by now that e-mail can and most likely will be subject to subpoena during investigations and the last thing you need is to give ammunition to those that are looking to attack you. Banning profanity from e-mail is just a first step in a PR campaign that will hopefully help Goldman should anyone have to subpoena their e-mails in the future. Maybe, just maybe, they will not have to defend why an employee can write "St, I sold these fking d****hebs worthless pieces of st and they just bought it because we are f**king Goldman Sachs.

If the firm feels confident using profanity in every day conversation, fine. Still, there is no need to leave a traceable history of profanity in discoverable documents for the public to see. If you have dirty laundry, maybe you shouldn't hang them in public.

Shane,

I am all for a professional work environment and yes, this is part of a public relations dance by GS.

Here's a potential escalation of events that is not far on the heels of "bad word" censorship.

The following is a thread between you and your boss. Enjoy. Roll you eyes. Consider the possibilities.

MD: Shane, how did your presentation to the board of XYZ inc. go? Did they agree to our usual fee structure?

SHANE: Actually, sir they are taking a hard line on their negotiating position. They feel that our participation in the bailout warrants us only taking half the usual cut. They seem to think they have us over a barrel.

MD: ..."usual cut"..."over a barrel"...Shane...we are not drug dealers or pimps. Your use of suggestive terminology could put us in a dangerous position were this email to get out. Please have your desk cleared out by the end of the day. Security will be prepared to escort you out of the building.

Aug 2, 2010
Midas Mulligan Magoo:

Shane,

I am all for a professional work environment and yes, this is part of a public relations dance by GS.

Here's a potential escalation of events that is not far on the heels of "bad word" censorship.

The following is a thread between you and your boss. Enjoy. Roll you eyes. Consider the possibilities.

MD: Shane, how did your presentation to the board of XYZ inc. go? Did they agree to our usual fee structure?

SHANE: Actually, sir they are taking a hard line on their negotiating position. They feel that our participation in the bailout warrants us only taking half the usual cut. They seem to think they have us over a barrel.

MD: ..."usual cut"..."over a barrel"...Shane...we are not drug dealers or pimps. Your use of suggestive terminology could put us in a dangerous position were this email to get out. Please have your desk cleared out by the end of the day. Security will be prepared to escort you out of the building.

Right there, you took the "slippery slope" argument and took it to its furthest application without any evidence of the sort. The article does not mention that Goldman is going to institute a policy where employees will be fired for using expletive language, or even double-entredres as you seem to have implied. The article states, "There are no set disciplinary measures for offenders, but habitual profaners will be summoned by their managers to discuss cleaning up their language."

I have already tried to make the point that I don't mind the language in a work setting with colleagues as long as the corporate culture does not have a problem with it (trading floor mentality). Yet, I do not believe that leaving traces of profanity in an e-mail should ever be acceptable even if the e-mail is internal. It's simply for the very fact that such e-mails are discoverable and will negatively impact the firm in the eyes of the public.

Whether you feel that firms should care about their PR image is up to you, but personally, I believe that investment banking firms (that depends on the trusts and confidence of their counter parties) should look to at least present a favorable PR message. Having your employees use profanity laced e-mail, especially about the products they trade and the people they trade with, may give the impression that Goldman can not control its employees, or is unaware of its employees action; neither view that an employer wants to serve as its public perception.

This policy is a means to correct that. I do not think that it is perfect, but I think it is required. At a time when just about every GS news is negative (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/ba...), it behooves the firm to come out with a firm commitment to improving their image.

Jul 29, 2010

Great post! I cannot believe GS is going to censor their internal emails, what is next?...reminds me of Orwell's Big Brother in 1984. What happened to freedom? This direction the modernized world is taking where if something isn't documented it doesn't exist is ridiculous, and it is going to bite us all in the ass. We are turning into a sterile society where we are worried more about image than actual results and the spice of life is being slowly removed...the rest of the world is noticing, they are laughing their asses off and they are aiming for the jugular.

Fuck!
Just had to throw that in.

~If money could talk, it would say "goodbye".

Jul 29, 2010

yarrrghghgh i'm gona go break stuff and say fuck a bunch of times

Jul 29, 2010

Goldman Sachs is going to start censoring internal emails?! Next thing you know, they'll implement a "business casual" dress code lol.

Jul 29, 2010

"And last year, J.P. Morgan had to briefly override its automated profanity detectors so it could write a press release that mentioned a charity called Feel Your Boobies Foundation. That is the name of a Pennsylvania breast-cancer prevention group, which got a grant from the bank." - WSJ

haha

Jul 29, 2010

I am an Intern at MS, and I can say without a doubt, using profanity at work has actually helped. I find my other more reserved intern friends bond less with the Senior guys. One time I was making a cold call and got hung up on, so under my breath I said, "Fu**ing Dic*head", sure enough the guy I work under was standing behind me, laughed and said, "That's some nice punctuation you added there at the end." As long as you're not to lewd in the office, you have nothing to worry about, Finance is an industry where the ability to shoot the shit with the guys beats even the best uptight intern.

My advice "Work Hard, Work Often, Curse Your Balls Off."

Jul 29, 2010

I disagree. It's one thing to be a vulgar asshole at happy hour, but to say that kind of stuff on a work email is just not acceptable. C'mon now. Bankers have always been self-righteous potty mouths and it's caught up with us.

This should be a lesson to all 22 year old entering the real world. Once you email, post, upload something , it's out there. There is no erasing it. Keep your work email appropriate. Save the F-bombs, S-bombs,MF, pump n dump stocks, hit it n quit it girls, you name it's for a conversation that doesn't come with a documented trail.

Jul 30, 2010

Ironic username for an MS intern

Jul 30, 2010

Excellent post. Fuck the PC censors. Finance is a war and sometimes in a war people get hurt!

Jul 30, 2010

They can just make up their own code words so that it will make no sense to outsiders.

Jul 30, 2010

yes, let's just say I got my name after interning with MS...

Aug 3, 2010
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Aug 3, 2010
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