I want to work at a hedge fund-- Am I delusional?

Im in the same boat as you. I would say; unless you have contacts in the business, probably not.

I would still go for it though, but also have IB options on hand. All IB jobs will give you some exposure to buy side if you are good and play your cards right. The most usual play is IB to PE or IB to HF if youre really really good.

Unless you have some serious contacts you won't be able to land an Investment role in a Hedge Fund. You will need at least 4 years experience trading and making good risk adjusted returns before getting into a Hedge Fund.

Believe me, you can get into whatever you want if you network hard enough. Im from a target school, my GPA is utter shit yet I got a VC internship as well as a hedge fund one for next year (albeit for two weeks). Just cold email and call everyone, get proper contacts in the industry, and be relentless. Best of luck.

Holy fuck, since when is a 3.7 at a target school "mediocre"

I will say that if you want to succeed on the buyside you need to cut out the humblebragging and/or get some self-confidence.