Congrats on the ROs. I Still Don’t Know Which One You Were
Another summer class survived and I think I’ve officially reached the stage of my career where everyone under 25 looks exactly the same.
A few days before the end of the summer, I woke up in an inexplicably good mood. Dog had finally taken a solid shit after several days of gastrointestinal warfare. Beautiful weather. Deals weren’t exploding. Life was good.
Walked into the office feeling unusually charitable and realized summer reviews were due.
Called one of the summers into my office and, completely seriously, had to ask: “Remind me what deals you’ve been working on with me?”
He tells me.
“Great. And you’re the analyst, right?”
Associate.
Excellent.
Anyway, gave him a great review.
Started going through the rest and realized I had basically no negative opinions about any of them. They didn’t burn the building down and were generally pleasant screen names on Zoom. At some point I apparently entered my Oprah era. You get an RO. You get an RO. Everybody gets an RO.
Fast forward and they start calling me individually: “Hey, just wanted to let you know I got the return offer. Thank you so much for everything this summer, really appreciate all your support.”
And I’m sitting there responding like a proud father while internally thinking, “That’s fucking awesome. Which one were you?”
It ended up creating this wholesome little RO lovefest where apparently I played a meaningful role in several young people’s lives because my dog happened to have a healthy bowel movement at the right point in the review cycle.
Congrats to all the summers getting ROs. And if you’re hitting the desk full-time now, some free advice: proactively reintroduce yourself to your VPs.
We like you. We fought for your return offer.
We have absolutely no fucking idea who you are.
Based on the most relatable and humorous WSO content, this post highlights a lighthearted yet insightful perspective on the summer internship experience and return offers (ROs). It underscores a few key takeaways:
Performance and Presence Matter: Even if you feel like just another face in a large intern class, your work ethic, attitude, and ability to avoid major mistakes can leave a positive impression. Sometimes, just being reliable and pleasant is enough to secure that RO.
Human Element in Reviews: The anecdote humorously shows how factors like mood, timing, and even unrelated events (like a dog’s health) can influence decision-making. While this isn’t something you can control, it’s a reminder that reviews are conducted by humans, not robots.
Proactive Relationship Building: The advice to reintroduce yourself to VPs when starting full-time is golden. Even if they fought for your RO, they might not remember every detail about you. Building rapport early on can set the tone for your career.
Stay Humble and Grateful: The interns’ gratitude for their ROs reflects the importance of acknowledging the support and opportunities provided by senior team members.
In short, this post is a mix of humor and wisdom, reminding interns to focus on their work, maintain good relationships, and not take themselves too seriously.
Sources: Advice for summer and return offer rate?, Return Offers and Signing Timing, How do Return Offers work, CS Internship 2023 Return Offer Rates?
I'm crying
Cyclospora is paradise
There is a no-RO intern reading this aghast, realising their entire career was jeopardised for the sole fact that their VP’s dog wasn’t shitting quite right that day
Look I don’t make the rules. Gut health was strong, class was strong. Correlation is not causation.
Indeed, a rare feel-good story this cycle
In the wake of all of the threads from young, disappointed monkeys who didn’t get the RO, hopefully this sheds some light on how random it can be. Hell, I saw the shittiest SA ever get the return because he wore a blue shirt (never white) and navy suit with blue socks every day. Prior to hitting the desk, he had heard the rumors that this one influential MD was obsessed with the Smurfs, and decided to play the game. It worked. Despite sloppy product and always showing up late, he “fit right into Smurf village” and got the RO. Eventually learned to shape up and turned out to be a half decent analyst.
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