Firm Thinks I'm Lying About Offer
Wanted to get your thoughts on this:
I'm in multiple lateral processes and ended up receiving an IB offer. A day after I got the offer, I mentioned it in a middle-stage round at another firm and asked to expedite so I could weigh my options. They asked where the offer was from, and I politely declined to name the bank. He flared up and said it was abnormal to not name the bank and that he would just check LinkedIn to see if I was lying afterward. I didn't name the bank since I met with the entire team I got the offer from and didn't want to damage any rapport for obvious reasons if this firm calls and they find out I was interviewing elsewhere and not accepting their exploding offer.
Thoughts on this? Thought it was super strange for a reputable firm to do this. I ended up declining the exploding offer and told the firm I was interviewing with that I wanted to stay in the process. They haven't responded to me since and were forwarding the email around. Can't understand why you would ever care this much about where an offer was from or why you would be this hostile to someone you're thinking about hiring. They were incredibly normal outside of this one issue.
Why would it have mattered if the offering firm learned you were interviewing elsewhere? Every hiring group understands that 1) lateral candidates will be involved in multiple processes, and 2) you accepting their offer isn't a given. If anything they may have been more inclined to sweeten the offer had they learned another group was pursuing you.
While I agree it was very weird of them to flip out, I think you may have been a little excessively cautious here. He thought he caught you in a bluff, and as far as he can tell (given you came back saying you wanted to continue the process) probably feels that he's been proven right.
I hate playing politics, so having the chance of the offering firm hear I was interviewing elsewhere just puts me in an uncomfortable position that I wanted to avoid. Given I met with some of the team in person and the head of the group, I felt like it would show I didn't have as much intent on joining as I mentioned.
I also agree with you that he probably feels like he caught me in a bluff, which is why they haven't responded. Funny because he's wrong. Just a weird situation, and honestly wouldn't want to work closely with someone like that.
Do not listen to this guy. You are not in the wrong at all for not giving the bank name. For all you know these guys could have called up the bank and messed up your offer, especially given how he acted initially to you not sharing. Protect yourself at all costs - anyone with 2 brain cells knows this.
Not surprised they aren’t moving forward with you, not because you did something wrong necessarily, but IMO blowing up to you just politely declining to share the bank name (again very within bounds) seems indicative of their culture. Prob wouldn’t want to work with them anyway
ignore this guy, 0 survival skills, you never know with which type of insecure miserable fucker you may be dealing with
with respect to your case, bird in hand worth more than 2 in the bush so wouldn't name the firm for a higher chance to get the job (still a gamble) while also exposing myself to the risk of somehow this retard contact the other bank and challenge whether they extended me an offer and how ur under interview with them
personally, i wouldn't give a crap if u interview with other banks, this is pure FOMO with 0 objective assessment on whether you will be a good grab for the team (technicals/personality/communication > whether ur interviewing or not with anyone else), so everytime u get asked this, know you may be dealing with an incompetent asshole (i may only give an indicative deadline until when I should have something final from them, and let them decide how much they want me in their team).
Bold move to continue with the process when you’d have to work with freaks like that guy
Was a top-tier group and would've been a solid jump in career. Hard to let go of that... but agree that culture is just as important.
For context, I did 4 years of IB and other stuff after I’ve been in the workforce for 10 years, and have seen situations like this play out..While the above posts are not entirely wrong in principle, none of us have all the context except you. The above posts are suggesting you simply light your (remaining) offer on fire and let this fizzle out. It will be rescinded today or tomorrow. Just tell them what bank / group it is immediately (right now, not later this morning, etc). I can understand why they “flared up” and got mad by you not telling them on some level. But it’s fine - just tell them if you want the job.
If you think you’ve ruined your relationship with them, still tell them and then just turn down the offer (it’s a small world, and you may want a different job at theat bank in the future who knows).
Why would you go back to stay in the process for this lol after such clear red flag behavior from them. I think 1) you played the situation correctly but also 2) you need to have bigger balls in the future. If you decline to say bc you’re seriously considering the other place, then stick to your guns. If it was never under real consideration, then you should feel open to disclosing. Never go crawling back. It’s also a bad look for you
You're not wrong for not naming. This is a small world and you need to protect the integrity of your process. If you're feeling generous you can let it slip if it's a BB/EB/MM, but that's not necessary.
In the future, try to keep the tone positive when confronted on the subject and use it to highlight the quality of your character.
Something like: "In order to protect the integrity of my process and as a courtesy to the other team, I am unable to name the firm. I can very much see myself as a member of your team and would not ask you to commit more of the their time and energy if that were not the case. While it is not my intention to create undue pressure, I must be realistic about my situation. The other offer expires EOD xx/xx; I am happy to accommodate any time and format the team may need to complete its assessment of my candidacy in that timeframe."
It's a tricky situation and there's no magic bullet, you might just be dealing with a big ego and it's best you learn that now. If they are serious about you they will make it work.
Certainly an overreaction to not being told where else you're interviewing. I always ask but its not a big deal if they decline to say where or even answer.
It's also perfectly reasonable to request an expedited process when you have an offer elsewhere with a ticking clock. Very reasonable to do this for strong candidates.
That said, I would only expedite if you gave me any indication that you were seriously interested in my firm. If I heard "weighing my options", I would status quo and let the chips fall where they may. Probably congratulate you on your other offer and wish you well.
Without an indication that the candidate wants to be here, I'd not spend time to ultimately be an offer shopped for better terms elsewhere or whatever. Does not reflect on me well internally to not have a pulse on the situation.
You could just tell them the bank you have an offer from (Bank A), and if you're worried about Bank B calling Bank A just preface it by telling Bank B that they're only welcome to call Bank A to confirm the offer after making you an offer. Usually they don't even do that, and they just want to know if you're sitting on a comparable bank's offer or if you're sitting on something much weaker. You could also tell them the class of bank (MM, BB whatever) but it's really on you to explain why you're being cagey.
Also Bank A assumes you're interviewing elsewhere, that wouldn't be news.
I think you're smart not to give out the name (literally who would tell them?) and it's a red flag how they reacted. I think you can safely avoid them. So sensitive ...
So now you have no offer anywhere...? I would've accepted the exploding offer given the uncertainty implied by the weird reaction. Red flag / not a good foot to start on if the guy is already questioning your character for no reason
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