You read correctly. What is the most mundane shit us monkeys do?
This is what I've got so far (in no particular order):
1. Manual data entry
2. Working group lists
3. Buyer logs
4. Logo slides
5. Weird custom transaction precedents like break fees.
Lay it on me. I want horror stories folks.
| +276 | Looking to raise a Billion Dollar Fund - College Junior | 41 | 8h | |
| +222 | It doesn’t need to be this way | 30 | 7h | |
| +154 | What to expect during your IB summer internship and how to secure the full-time offer | 8 | 10m | |
| +137 | Biggest gripe in IB: people with no balls | 37 | 8h | |
| +136 | Career Bankers, Was It Worth It? | 45 | 5h | |
| +84 | RBC M&A vs PJT RSSG | 14 | 2d | |
| +81 | I FINALLY DID IT, I GOT A FT OFFER! | 14 | 11h | |
| +68 | MD Can’t Unplug | 22 | 2h | |
| +66 | Vanderbilt ($$$) / Northwestern ($$$) vs UF ($) | 36 | 6h | |
| +63 | Did I mess up by correcting my VP Publicly? | 20 | 1d |
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You're in for a bad few years.
If you want intellectual honesty, you're in the wrong COUNTRY.
As George Carlin once said: America's #1 industry is bullshit.
company profiles.
My MD made me find out all the locations that our client has (there were over 40), find out the respective MSA (Metropolitan Statistical area) they fall in and proceed to and put dots on a map so we could illustrate their geographic presence.
did that before...and to make it even more enjoyable, senior banker wanted circles sized accordingly...definitely adding supreme value to client needs...this is why IBD analysts get paid the big bucks!
Circles are keys to success. Without them, the story just doesn't make sense.
Went to deliver some books to MDs house, got roped into fixing his television.
Bro -- My MD made me review his taxes in 2015. Wanted me to "double check" his accountant's work and make sure he was getting all the necessary tax breaks. I basically spent two days learning about what rich people do with their money while he was "working from home" until I was done. I was annoyed.
The worst part was he sold an apartment with the furniture included, and we got into a fairly involved debate on whether or not it was "inaccurate" to pretend his furniture was purchased/valued at $400k vs. $200k. So then he made me catalog his furniture using his iPhone which basically included pictures of him getting wasted with his friends in his massive condo in the last five years on all the pieces of furniture. Now I was just fucking irritated.
Finally, he made me write a detailed memo to summarize the "worst case scenario" on whether or not the IRS could 1) figure out we marked the furniture prices up, and 2) what the repercussions would be for doing something like this. To scare the shit out of him I only referenced horror stories of rich people getting massive late taxes interest fines/etc. (there were like 15 links with quotes in the memo, all mortifying to read about). In the end he ended up paying more in taxes than the original accountant version since I scared the shit out of him. My first thought when seeing the taxes paid number increase: I win Bitch.
Not banking, but for mundanity in excelsis in a finance job, 10 years ago I was an analyst at a long/short equity HF. We owned a company that made little model NASCAR cars. They were sold at little hobbyist stores nationwide. A couple times a quarter I had to call up these rube storeowners trying to get them to talk about their business in detail. Bottom line, there were a lot of dorks buying little model racing cars, but not enough to move the stock anywhere after we bought it.
Another company we owned was Build-a-Bear Workshops. Every once in a while I'd take a day trip to various malls for a channel check. Worried about being taken for a pedophile while lurking among the kiddies in these stores.