Afraid of losing myself (Goals/ambition) if I get in a relationship.
Anyone else struggle with this? My goals are pretty much my whole identity and in the past I’ve always ended up dumping my girlfriends or I just never let anyone get close. Have any of you been able to keep having success with your goals while maintaining a healthy romantic life?
Thanks
It's Saturday, I'm bored, so why not? No, I don't struggle with this. So yes I keep my goals while maintaining a healthy romantic life. If you're dumping partners because of this, you have some self relflection to do. Especially if you're the one dumping them and not vice versa let alone a mutual split. Whether it's confidence issues, not seeking the right kind of partner with shared goals and ambitions or just maybe you're one of those people that ultimately really does want to be single and dates for appearances sake but does want some special bedroom time like normal people. No harm in any of those, just be real about it.
Now to get off my phone and go back to chatting up women at the bar and finding out if any of them fall into example two or example three. Cheers.
Good luck with that. Tell the girls you are an audiophile at heart - they eat that sh** up.
"Hey girl, let me tell you about the new Wilson Audio floorstanding speakers while we do what should be done on the couch and you can listen to the graceful love songs that include The Four Tops all the way through to Yeah Yeah Yeah's. What? You thought I was about to roll in here like Patrick Bateman in a raincoat talking about Huey Lewis and the News?!" ROFL. For those that can't pick up on it, I totally get his joke and I'm laughing with him and nowhere near at him.
The right one will support your goals.
Perhaps you should evaluate whether your goals are worthwhile. And if you don't care about having a romantic relationship, than who cares? Focus on yourself and your career.
If having a romantic relationship with someone is important to you, then you need to reevaluate how your prioritize that versus your goals. This isn't really a question of "how do I do both" but "do I even want both." It sounds like you don't really want a relationship yet, or not enough to shift some focus away from your career goals. Which is fine! It's just kind of silly to look for some cheat code for this, when the answer is that only you know how to prioritize your life.
You're probably young, and you may be in a place where you don't really want a relationship. There's nothing wrong with taking time to focus on yourself and your goals and build yourself up into the man you want to be. Women require a lot of time, and unless you're with an understanding woman who wants to go where you're going and is willing to let you sacrifice your time with her to focus on your goals, you probably shouldn't seriously date. Your best case scenario is to find a woman who wants to help you accomplish your goals, but that can be difficult. If you often find yourself in a situation where your woman is competing with your goals, distracting you, and starting arguments, then it may be best that you take this time in your life just to keep your head down and focus on what you need to do. Women are all over the place, and they love an ambitious man that's accomplishing his goals.
It’s difficult…thankfully my GF seems to understand but at times it’s not easy. Sounds like you are the one to usually cut it off, meaning you simply aren’t ready or you haven’t found the right girl for you. Trust me, when you find a girl you really like you’ll make it work.
I work the same as always and my fiancé is super supportive. You just need to find the right person. She has held a real full time job while dealing with all of our house stuff, cooking, cleaning, etc so I can get more hours into work.
That basically creates the time I need to spend with her. :)
You have to work as a team and be on the same page! A lot of people are hesitant to be explicit about their goals in life and what they want...which is dumb because that's how you get a divorce lol. Need to make sure there's full alignment going in the same way you create a plan with the management team of a co you're buying or w/e.
Ill take a contrarian viewpoint here. I had a long term girl who I was planning to marry. She was my motivation. I worked hard so one day I could give her anything she wanted. The tide changed and she decided to go to grad school and abruptly broke it off without communicating much on why. Poof - my motivation gone. I think it all depends on what you attribute your motivation to. Are you doing it for yourself? For your family? For her/him? I'm still trying to figure out why I'm doing what I was when I was grinding for her. I think, now, I'm doing it for my family primarily and myself secondarily. Maybe consider what being in a relationship could add in terms of what motivates you... it could turn you into more of a savage.
Though i am not in traditional relationship type of person, i must say, the good thing being in a relationship should be this person is your motivation to be better and better. Earn more money, be better person, get rid of bad habit. If things go the opposite, in my opinion, it is toxic relationship. The only matter is whether it will kill you sooner or later.
Bro trick is to find someone better or more motivated than you so she ends up motivating you more
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