How to help a sibling?
Most of us are motivated, hungry and always looking to improve our lives. I’m struggling with a sibling who seems to be in a funk, is stubborn, and is unhappy because of his/her own actions. But than does those actions because he/she is unhappy. It’s like fat bastard in Austin Powers who said he is unhappy cause he eats too much and eats too much cause he is unhappy. Anyways I guess I’m asking how do you help someone that you love who just takes no accountability and is stubborn.
You haven't really disclosed all the details. How old is your sibling? If he/she is 8 or 18 or 28 or 38 it makes a big difference.
After my brothers cancer treatments he went through a few fazes, motivated to do everything, probably too much, then motivated to do nothing. There’s a great book, the name escapes me, but it talks about how physical stress activates the same portion of the brain that mental stress does. I love fitness, so I knew what could get him through this was hardening his brain a bit. Drove him to my CrossFit box day in/out, paid his membership etc.
He has taken that and ran with it. Total lifestyle change, a lot of people will disagree, but I believe, generally, fitness is one of the large keys to a happier, fuller life.
It's amazing what it can do. I initially got into fitness as most people do - wanted to be able to take my shirt off at the beach and not feel self-conscious. I'd say now it's only a byproduct of what I really get out of it. The mental gains I made with a consistent schedule were insane. Whatever stress or angst I'm feeling I can let it out when I step into the weight room. It's done so many wonders for me.
Hardest part is getting started. OP, if you're able to get your brother set up with a personal trainer and/or routine, you would be surprised how fast he will become self-sufficient. Best of luck.
Yeah the gym is great for mental health. A Muay Thai or BJJ gym is great too and provides Oxytocin to the brain as you’re in a community. I didn’t discover Muay Thai / BJJ until I was 27 years old. I wish I found it sooner.
I've considered getting into it. We've talked about this before, so you know I did recreational kickboxing from age 23 to today - love it to death. Feel no need to become some 'alpha fighter' but it's nice knowing that if someone decided to clock my wife as we're walking down the street I could break their arm in four different places. Furthermore, kickboxing is a completely different type of workout and has allowed me to grow mentally and physically in different ways, testing my discipline, stamina, and all of the like. I had a great instructor who recently retired last year - still have him over for a beer every once in awhile.
Good sh** bro
Help out family by being there for them and supporting them in what they want. But don’t loan them money no matter how hard they try. I personally haven’t dealt with it but have plenty of anecdotes on how that went, and it’s all shit. Money gets in the way of any relationship as you’ll be seen as a resource rather than a source of real help if you open that gate up. Just focus on being a basically good friend and providing clear support that way. Providing money is not an answer and shouldn’t be a solution ever in helping out any family, period.
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