How to stop stressing about future job

I strive to be the best in as many fields as possible (as I’m sure a lot of people on this site do). This started when I started going to the gym - I realised the improvement and ‘climbing’ of it cured my depression, and I’ve latched on since.

I’m a university student. I’ve noticed over the past year I get sucked into worrying about future job prospects (mainly about pay, but also free time so I can focus on other ‘fields’ of development like family, charity events, gym etc). I understand this isn’t healthy - first my expectations are probably too high (getting a spot in any high finance field seems to be super tough, even at a top target), but also because I’m not considering what I’d enjoy. Partially because I don’t know (don’t have any internships), but also because I’m overly obsessed with pay.

I would like guidance with two things if possible:

1) How to stop focusing on the future, particularly worries about my career

2) How to stop deriving happiness from ‘progressing’ from external things (e.g. pay) and instead switch to internal things (e.g. sense of purpose, gratitude)

I would like to mention it hasn’t fully occupied my life - I still have great friends, family and a girlfriend. Just I overthink a lot during my free time.

Thanks!

11 Comments
 
Most Helpful

I over think a ton. I went from being analytical about everything, to being a financial analyst full time after college. I was taught to analyze and it spilled over into my every thought and being. I analyze everything. Worse, I catastrophize, which is imagining the worst thing possible for every situation. I have to deal with this on a constant basis and also filter my language to not making people think I am over analyzing.

When I give my answer to the "biggest strengths and weaknesses" question in interview, I often say I over analyze things. My greatest strength is the ability to have a laser like focus and super attention to detail, but that also slows me down if I am using laser focus on the details when I should be focusing on the bigger picture. I'll admit I need a conversation with the manager or client to determine the scope of the project so I don't bury myself in the details and miss deadlines. 

Overall though, I'd say count your blessings every night before you go to bed. Take a minute to meditate on how many good things and people are going for you and give thanks to the world or your creator or whatever you believe in. As far as your mind goes, you'll get better at controlling its whims and fluctuations. The mind has solid neuroplasticity so you can re-program yourself over time to a certain extent. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
monkeyuser69420

Sounds like ADHD. Curious if you're diagnosed, if you experience symptoms, or if you have any further tips on how to succeed in finance with having this mindset/ADHD.

I don't think you understand ADHD. I have talked to my psychiatrist and I definitely don't have ADHD and he refuses to prescribe ADHD medicine. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

These may be two different things you’re trying to address:

Regarding pay and wanting to progress forward with your career or any other facet of your life, that’s very normal to experience at your age and even as you get older, your expectations are fairly realistic especially for someone studying business, and you should set goals to achieve what you want

Your happiness in life likely does not come from making money and seeing dollars on your screen increase every couple weeks when you get paid. And you’ve been able to find happiness for the past couple decades as a student, so whatever brings you happiness now is likely what you’ll enjoy later on. Additionally, your first maybe 3 paychecks from work are the ones you’ll find the most satisfaction from. After a few months of working, you probably don’t check your bank account too often anyways, just here and there mainly just to make sure stuff is in order. Similarly, with promotions and pay bumps, people often get excited for a couple of days, maybe a week or two tops, before feeling back to normal so hopefully you’re not just holding out for years just for these moments. Live in the moment and enjoy the present while you work toward incrementally reaching larger goals you may have 

 

Thank you for the response. I’ll try elaborate upon my perspective as to why I think they are linked:

Due to my obsession with ‘climbing the ladder’, I don’t want to settle for a lower paying job that I have a strong chance of enjoying, at least from my current perspective. For example, the Marines, firefighting or working for NASA - all things I have considered and believe I am capable of doing. My goal (e.g. top of the ladder) is to have ‘made it’ financially - for me, that is having a custom built family home and a portfolio to ‘retire’ off of if I so choose (not that I necessarily would), so in theory, me or my family would never have to work again for a reasonable lifestyle if we so choose. My number for this is $3 million. This is, however, a very rough goal, and will probably adjust with time (wether lower or higher). In this sense, I don’t derive happiness from the check in the bank (I have worked before and never felt happy about getting paid ironically), but rather the sense of progressing to ‘the top’.

The stress about reaching this goal is what spirals me down these job-fear periods, where I am concerned about the various downsides of each industry and whether I would actually enjoy it. E.g. can I handle the stress of trading or public market investing, can I hack the hours etc.

I am fearful that I won’t achieve my goal, and probably have a deep insecurity about not achieving success from dark periods in my path. If I fix this insecurity, I will have less of a desire to have a ‘high paying’ job and therefore fix my panic search.

 

Wouldn’t you want to fix the insecurity aspect so you could reach the goal of having a higher paying job?


You can’t let your fear of failure deter you from wanting to succeed. Strive to do your best, everyone gets turned down, we eventually grow numb to it. Think about interviewing - we apply to hundreds of places, then get 20 interviews, chat with over 60+ people, possibly get one or two offers, rest are all rejections. It’s a numbers game 

 

It's fairly typical for most people to want to optimize pay, free time and progress in various facets of life. You haven't started working yet, but you may likely become more fixated with how much you make once you've graduated given how much everything costs. Just set some incremental goals and gradually work towards achieving them. Just get started if you haven't done so already so you can start making some progress - update your resume, apply to jobs, get an offer etc. People don't reach their goals over the course of a few days, it takes time and persistence, and people surely fall on their face plenty of times, just get back up again and again. You can't sit around and wallow in self doubt or fear of failing, otherwise you'll likely never get anything done that you want to achieve.

On the other topic of deriving happiness: seeing progress can lead to happiness, but happiness isn't and shouldn't be derived solely from making career progress. It takes a while to climb up and even when you reach the top rung of 1 latter, you may realize you'll need to climb up the next latter, especially at larger companies.

 

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