I don’t want to live anymore and don’t see a way forward

I spent all of college cold calling to get a MM IB job, even transferred to a t10 and left all my friends to get a better chance at IB because I had a PE internship and I wanted a shot at PE because I saw it as the most viable way to fonancially help my family.

i then left that IB job before the one year mark due to some drama and fear of getting fired. In hindsight my job was likely secure and I was just spooked by MD’s language. But because of my fear of being unemployed with all the stories on WSO, I left for FP&A at a portco a few months back.

this was the worst decision of my life. I hate this job and have destroyed the direction I had for all of college and sacrificed all social life for

Makes the same base as IB, but I live everyday realizing I gave up my shot at PE just because I was scared. And i have no idea what im doing and just feel like a bo accountant 

is there any way back to the ib->pe route? Is a msf even a good idea with a spotty resume? My old mentors wont even return my emails after learning i went to fp&a. It just looks like i gave up

i think i’ve ruined my resume forever and thus wasted all of college and just dont know where life is headed anymore. I dont know how to get back on a path to financial/career success and I just feel so lost and have no idea if there are any ways back to the success i fumbled

please help. I dont know what steps to take. Is networking even going to help? MSF? Or is there no way back to the chance I fumbled

14 Comments
 

hello. literally just an intern so i can't offer career advice, but i just want to say that you'll be okay my friend. just the fact that you're on this forum trying to figure out what your next move could be, the fact that you're reaching out to people, the fact that you have enough fire power in you to know that you can do better, is good and inspiring. it's better than what most in your position would do. you'll come back, don't give up. find new mentors, keep networking. your grit will count for something. keep living, there is always a way forward 

 

This acct + op is me. Its been a long 2 years of grinding since but i am very thankful. Quitting banking was one of the best things that ever happened to me mentally and financially. Leaving this here to give new analysts hope

 

First of all, if you're feeling suicidal, I advise to just call 911 and they will take you to inpatient psychiatric care and likely give you some drugs to chill out. Some people might recommend the suicide hotline, but I think 911 will get you somewhere safe fast. 

Secondly, don't get so tied down to your job as your identity. People who only view their job as their worth are torn down if anything goes wrong. Get spiritual, talk to family and friends. 

Finally, you're reacting to stress in a negative manner. You have to learn to deal with stress in a positive manner through coping mechanisms. Some people go to the gym or have hobbies. One of my favorite stress relievers is a punching bag. A large heavy bag. Kick and punch the life out of it until you've got out all your stress. GL.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Also, regarding a degree, I like the MBA path more than an MSF. The recruiting pipeline out of a top MBA is solid. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

KoldKallKing

But you cant do pe out of mba without prior pe experience

Says who? Maybe you can say it is unlikely, but you can't say it is impossible.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

One issue you have to work thru, or get help working thru, is how you respond to unfavorable situations. Notice how you got worried and quit your job. Now you talk about quitting life. The first thing would be to start drilling into your mind that there is nearly always a way forward. That you are way better off than millions of others. Whatever works for you, other than the embrace of doom & gloom.

If you feel strongly that your life's purpose is to work in high finance (which I would find baffling but whatever gets you thru each day), work on your networking and perhaps you can get a break with smaller firms and maybe in a tangential role that could lead to something closer to your goals later. An M7 MBA would also help.

But, why is it you feel that only "ib > pe" is the way forward in life? There are numerous paths to success in life and you too can find what works for you and your circumstances if you are willing to look for it. You would have "wasted all of college" if you think a degree defines or limits you, or if you think early career mistakes are fatal.

 

Call 911 if you feel that way genuinely. Otherwise, get a damn grip. Yes, you haven't exactly helped yourself, but you need to grab your balls and start swinging.

You have one year of banking. Tart up your FP&A experience and try and be involved as possible in anything that might be something relevant to talk about.

more importantly, your post whiffs of paralysis by over analysis. Examine why you are interested to get your passion back, then think about how you can present yourself / make moves going forward to play the best hand you have... goodluck.

 
Most Helpful

Brother, take a deep breath - everything will be ok

Take a step back and evaluate your situation - what have you gained from this experience, what are the pros of your current situation, what would you like to achieve, and what seems like the most realistic path and timeframe to do so

Have you spoken to your old team to see whether they have the appetite to hire you back? Have you sought new mentors who might have made the same so-called fumbles you have and yet have managed to get their career back on track? Your situation's recoverable, don't panic

Aside from this, you seem somewhat prone to panic and anxiety - work on this

Speak to your doctor, speak to a therapist - see what it is that triggers you and work on developing a robust framework of healthy coping mechanisms

Finance can be a tough industry with some notoriously blunt and / or hostile people working in it - chances are that the MD who made those comments that initially spooked you was doing so irrationally (i.e. spurred by a lack of control over his / her own emotions) and likely forgot about them soon after

Nevertheless, you took it too quickly to heart, and it affected your decision making

Try and develop a little bit of grit and shrug off day-to-day nonsense that comes your way - it will help you significantly in the long term

Stay strong, and if you do need suicide related help, please reach out immediately to an official hotline or emergency service

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes" - Oscar Wilde
 

Brother investment banking is just a job. Learn to live. The 80-100 hours you work in investment banking is a waste of time. Please spend your time learning how to live and also spend time with your family and friends that is what matters 

 

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