I’m in Love With My Intern.

I’m a first year analyst at a large bank and I think I’m still in love with one of our summer interns. Her internship ended almost two months ago, she’s back at school now, and she’s already accepted an offer to come back again next summer. Nothing ever happened between us. I never told her how I felt, never tried to see her outside work, never messaged her in a way that crossed a line, and I was very conscious of the fact that she was an intern and I was one of the analysts giving feedback on her. She’s a sophomore, 19, and I’m 23.

I honestly assumed this would disappear once the summer ended. We worked together a lot and I figured I was probably just exhausted, spending too much time around the same people, and mistaking that kind of proximity for something deeper. But it’s been almost two months and I still think about her all the time. If anything, the distance has made me more convinced that I actually liked her and wasn’t just caught up in the summer.

We got along ridiculously well. She’s smart, funny, grounded, and just very easy to be around. A lot of it was completely mundane, talking late at night while waiting on comments, grabbing food with the team, walking out of the office at the same time, random conversations about school and life. At some point I started looking forward to work because I knew she’d be there. If she was staffed with another team I noticed. If she left early I noticed. When the internship ended I remember thinking I’d probably feel stupid about the whole thing in a couple of weeks but I don't

The part that makes me uncomfortable is that I had some influence over her experience that summer. I gave feedback on her, and I definitely went out of my way to make sure I was being fair. If anything I was probably harder on her than I needed to be because I never wanted there to be any question that she was getting favorable treatment. She was still one of the strongest interns and got the return offer completely on merit. I’m confident about that.

Now I’m stuck in this weird situation where there is technically no reporting relationship anymore, she’s hundreds of miles away at school, and we probably won’t work together again until next summer. Part of me thinks this is exactly when I should just let it go. She’s coming back, I’m still going to be at the bank, and even if there’s nothing technically wrong with talking to her now, it could make next summer awkward or create a dynamic I don’t want to put her in.

The other part of me keeps thinking that if we had met anywhere else, I would have asked her out without thinking twice.

There’s also another issue that I’m not particularly proud of. I’ve been dating someone for about two years. Nothing is dramatically wrong with the relationship, but it’s been flat for a while, and this whole thing has forced me to admit that. I care about my girlfriend, but I haven’t felt excited about someone in a long time and I hate that it took meeting someone else to make me realize that. I haven’t cheated and I’m not going to, but emotionally I’m obviously not where I should be.

I haven’t reached out to the intern since the summer beyond a couple completely normal messages related to work / congratulations on the return offer. I’ve thought about doing it probably a hundred times and haven’t because I don’t trust my own judgment here.

What I can’t figure out is whether the fact that she’s coming back next summer means this is something I should completely bury, or whether there’s a version where I deal with my current relationship honestly, give this more time, and eventually reach out before she comes back.

I know how ridiculous this sounds. I genuinely expected to be over it by now and I’m not.

Would really appreciate any advice for someone who has experienced something similar.