No longer wish to be a dateless virgin

Hello, 

       First of all, I would like to apologize in advance because I'm well aware this topic has probably been covered on this forum ad nauseum  - but I'd like to frame this post in the context of a post-COVID world (or still in the middle of COVID, but that's beside the point). I'm turning 23 pretty soon and it's made me think a lot about my life. For the most part, I'm happy with what I've accomplished so far and how things are going. I recently got a great job in NYC and will be moving there soon. And by great, I mean interesting work at a good company that is paying me 99th percentile income for my age. I worked extremely hard to land the offer, and also have a strong educational background and would consider myself to be pretty intelligent. I'm also super fortunate in that I have an awesome group of friends* (asterisk because there's a caveat, will dive into it later), great family, and great health (most important part imo). 

I should feel happy, but I'm not. I think it started with my friend group. Realizing that they are all guys (around 8 of them) made me realize things were off since it just seems odd that I've never had one friend that's a woman, and sure I knew I was behind my peers in that most guys my age have dated, not just once, but probably multiple women. Or at least went on a date. But it never bothered me because all of my friends were in the same situation; none of them had gone on a date, and obviously all of them were still virgins. Then, in the last 1-2 years, it started happening seemingly out of the blue: my friends started going on dates, getting girlfriends. This I guess was what started making me "wake up" to my odd situation. In all other aspects of life it seemed I was fairly successful, and then when it came to women it was....nothing there. If life was a video game, it's like I put all my stat points into education, career, health, friendships, family, and have literally 0 on dating. Nothing. Nada. Another thing is that even my few friends who still haven't gotten on a date have in common that they can point to at least one instance, and usually a couple, that a woman has shown interest in them. I, unfortunately, can't do the same. Not once can I point to a time or situation that a woman has shown interest in me. And I've probably met thousands and thousands of women at this point through middle school, high school, college, work, clubs, sports, hobbies, etc. It seems statistically improbable and tbh I'd probably laugh at my own situation if it wasn't so depressing.

It's bizarre because it seems the most common advice for guys in my situation is "take a shower, hit the gym, get a better job, make more money, go to a good college, dress well, get a good haircut, etc". Well....I've done all of this already. I guess when people think of someone in my situation, they picture a school shooter looking guy - a creepy, sweaty, dirty, guy with little to nothing going for him; I don't mean to sound haughty, but I'm the complete opposite. I take care of myself, I work out (was varsity athlete), I dress well, I'm ambitious, I've been told that I'm funny (not class clown but can be humorous in the right context), and overall a fun person to be around. And yet it seems like I'm always invisible when I'm near women. Like I don't exist. I don't really know how to describe it...it almost seems like they already write me off as a viable option before even getting to know me.

I'm not one of those guys (incels) that believes women only go for tall, rich, jacked dudes or whatever. Mostly because, no offense to my friends, they are pretty much all less fit than me, some still in college, others working minimum wage jobs, basically not so impressive guys, and they all managed to get a girlfriend still. I've heard the argument that even if you go to a Walmart, you'll see the funky looking men in there with gf's and wives, but it seems I'm not even able to get the attention of those types of women either...maybe because they are intimidated by me? Or am I just that fugly?

Is anyone else in a similar situation?? I genuinely don't know what to do here. Obviously dating apps have been a bust because I've heard they tend to be sausage fests and the algorithms force guys to pay up so unless you're super good looking or willing to shell an inordinate amount of money out (even this isn't a guarantee), I think dating apps are fruitless. And cold approaches seem impossible. At least where I'm currently at (a lesser known state), most women walk around in groups or with headphones on or basically just don't want to be bothered, and I fully respect that. Plus I feel like you need some decent indication that the women wants you to approach them (even just a smile), and I've never received this before. I don't think I've ever been flirted with before either.

Don't want to drone on for too long, just felt like I should give some context to my situation. I'm really hoping I can get some actionable advice here. I've heard NYC is pretty good when it comes to dating for single men, but at the same time it seems silly to imagine someone of my situation (zero interest from women) suddenly going to a different state and having success. That sounds like a miracle. Would be happy to answer any additional questions.

Edit: I apologize for the poor grammar, wrote this in haste and kind of sad rn :(. Also just in case anyone asks, I'm 5'10/160 lb's. Have a kind of "swimmer" build currently. Working on gaining more muscle