Why do people settle

Diminishing returns at that point. How much better can you do in your 40s when you already have $2MM salary and 35? Very little, if anything.

Because you don't want to be 40 and have kids.

Some people never settle. Nobody ever meets the absurd standards for a significant other they uphold.Then these same people get old and rich.

Then they realize they are rich but very lonely, that they have few hobbies or intellectual interests because they worked most of their adult life crunching numbers and talking about money. Then the reality that they banged too many girls when they were in their late 20s and early 30s kicks in, thus making the fulfilling and meaningful pleasure of sex built on connection utterly dead.Then comes the realization that all the good girls are taken by their buddies who "settled". The only chicks left when your rich and 40 have been passed around more than a beer bong at a state school and have fewer brain cells than plastic surgery invoices. Or they are 15 years younger and have nothing in common with you other than their love of money and prestige .

Settling is having the maturity to realize nobody is the hot stud they think they are. A real connection with somebody you find attractive that shares the same values as you has the potential to be somebody you form a lifelong relationship with. That, despite the common opinion of the times, is something worth exploring. Those long-term relationships are by almost all accounts more fulfilling than constant sex with multiple partners and using money to get somebody out of your league.

"Meeting five hundred people one time is far less valuable than meeting one person five hundred times".

I am young and have a number of successful friends who think that success means they can put off everything in pursuit of great accolades and fatter checks. They don't ever plan on settling down and want a body count of 100+ by the time they are 30. They probably will manage to get both of those things. But when hot sorority girl #134 just doesn't feel quite the same as smokeshow sorority girl #18 they will realize they should have "settled". I think it is a sad sad thing that people my age don't value meaningful connection. Everybody wants to talk about how success will bring meaning but then they shun everything thats meaningful while pursuing it.

The fact that the first thing you mention is income is a pretty clear indication that you don't "get it" and have very little understanding of what you're talking about. What does someone's income have to do with settling or finding "the one"? I would argue that very few people settle anymore especially with the advent of dating apps providing a much larger dating pool and ease for meeting new people.

1. A person is worth more than their income. I would argue that if your personality trait is your income, then your SO is likely "settling" for you.

2. Lifestyle. Yea I know guys crushing it who just continue to date young, attractive women. It's awesome. Especially awesome in early-to-mid 30s. 10  years later they're doing the same thing. Their friends have moved on. They're lonely. And life hasn't progressed

3. Meaningful relationship. As you get older, you become less connected with friends. Your relationship with your SO is even more important. Having someone to talk to and grow with every day. Dating someone 30 years younger than you doesn't provide that for everyone, and you may have so little in common that it just sucks.

4. Off of #1, you want someone who's with you for you, not your money. So if you're tying value and attractiveness to money, then you may end up with someone just with you for your money. It's a balance

But to each their own. Some are very happy to "not settle" and instead continue to date younger women who like dating the older man with money (borderline sugar baby relationship)

OP, what exactly do you mean by “settle” here? Whilst I agree that you shouldn’t settle down with someone you think isn’t right for you just out of obligation/pressure (either external or on yourself), I don’t think that’s what you’re saying here. You’re saying one of the following I think, and respectfully I disagree with you on both:

1. Settling in looks - if you’re saying why wouldn’t a 40yr old guy earning $1m+ have a gf/wife with model looks, then respectfully I don’t think you get what people want in a lifelong companion. Of course many (if not most) 40yr old guys could get gorgeous gfs/wives if they weren’t interested in personality/intelligence - but guess what, those are exactly the traits you do want in a wife. 

There’s a reason why if you look at most (if not all) successful businessmen/billionaires etc, they usually have wives who are pretty (sometimes very) but not supermodel-gorgeous. But they’re accomplished in other ways. Think about it - if you’re working hard in your job to make $2m a year, do you want to come home and hear your wife talk about what colour she painted her nails today or what her friends at the spa were moaning about? Also in my experience (I have dated a couple of girls who were model good-looking) these types of girls often tend to be very self-centred drama queens. Not all gorgeous women are like that of course - but chances are the ones who would go out with a 40yr old semi-sugar daddy will be.

And then you might say, well why don’t they get gorgeous wives who are also intelligent and great jobs? Well firstly that’s a very limited/specific dating pool - and secondly if you’re waiting till 40 then most of them will have settled down by then. And if you want to date a girl like that in her 20s - if she has a great job/money, why would she go out with an average-looking but loaded 40yr old guy?

2. You’re saying why wouldn’t a guy sleep around until he’s 40, refusing to settle down before then? There’s loads of reasons - but similar to the above, if you wait until 40 the hottie with a great career you met in business school at 28 is likely married with kids by now, and a 28yr old gorgeous MBA likely won’t be that interested in a 40yr old guy (as above).

Also bear in mind that even if you’re a multi-millionaire, if you’re late 30s and go to a club you won’t have girls fawning over you just because you have tons of cash (unless it’s a strip club). Even if you’re in decent shape there’s a chance you’ll look like a creepy older guy going after girls in their early 20s. Plus your body is waay less able to tolerate late nights/partying/excessive alcohol, trust me on this as a guy in his early 30s who’s starting to feel it.

So in summary OP - yes having a good job, money and being in shape will mean you can get women well into your 30s (or 40s if you want). Personally I get more girls now than I did in college. But please don’t think earning $2m a year is going to turn you into Brad Pitt - it won’t. And despite the fact that dating as you get older is undeniably better for guys than it is for girls, the dating pool still does shrink over time.

Also going back to my first point - if you only care about getting a stunner and nothing else - bear in mind looks fade. You’re looking for a lifelong partner in a wife right? So imagine that boring personality in 20 years when she’s not really hot anymore, yet you still have to put up with her inane conversation. Not quite so fun I imagine.

I personally know no man who is in a relationship with someone younger than them by 10 years or more. Keep in mind the majority of people are more “normal” and settle down with someone the same age as them

Not many women fit the ethnic purity my bloodline demands, and the ones that do often don't clear the prestige bar that my father expects of a noble maiden descended from conquerors, dukes, earls, chancellors, fuhrers, kaisers, emperors and such. I have met a few in my lifetime, but we were emotionally incompatible.

Hah.  Because people don't settle down with someone (in the sense of committing to a partnership) because they want someone to bang.  You find a meaningful connection with someone and realize that is the end goal, and that it's stupid to that extra girl at the nightclub, or one more Tinder hookup.  If what you want is lots of sex with lots of different partners, good for you and maybe your attitude is correct in that case, but most people (I think) are looking for a meaningful relationship and not a warm body.

Moreover, I think you way overestimate your chances as a high earning 40 year old.  Who is your target audience, here?  It's real easy to sleep around when you're 25 and everyone else is looking for the same one night stand you are.  It's a little harder at 30, when most of the people your age are partnered up but at least you can still hang with the mid-20s crowd.  At 40?  Your peers have lives of their own, and why is some 25 year hottie sleeping with a 40 year old when she's got a whole bunch of people her own age to pick from?  At some point, your $2mm a year isn't providing that much more than the 26 year old making 250k.  That guy is still able to buy a nice dinner, go out most nights, afford a decent apartment, etc etc.  And they're not bordering on "creepy old".

Everything about this post screams "I'm 19 and am having no luck with women in college"

I'm on the same page with you. don't plan to settle. I however do understand why others settle.

some of the reasons:

1) guys work a lot and don't have much time to search for new girls. some girls expect men to text them for a week before even meeting for the first time, and then take them out for another week or two before any sex

2) it's expensive to take out multiple girls. if you are trying to build some investments, you might want to settle with somebody until your investments start paying off.

3) a lot of men have erection problems, especially if they work long hours in a stressful environment. ED drugs cost a fortune (like $20 per pill), you need to time them exactly, like exactly an hour before sex - like how can you know an hour in advance for sure that you're gonna have sex if it's not your consistent partner you're hanging out with. ED drugs are not easy to get, have side effects, which makes sex less enjoyable, and don't always work, especially if you don't use them consistently.

4) girls want you to wear a condom if you are not their consistent monogamous partner which makes sex less enjoyable

5) many men are actually not in shape, are not good at talking to women, don't enjoy talking to women, are not tall, and are losing hair.

so, overall, it's a very niche experience to be tall, rich, successful, good-looking, with big hard dick, good at talking to women, enjoying talking to women, have plenty of time, not balding while being in your 30s. in 40s this pool gets even more scarce. in 50s more, and so on. but if you do belong to this pool, keep on rocking buddy.

I'm just a college kid and after reading this thread I'm scared asf I’ll not be able to find true love and die alone lmao

The problem with this website sometimes is people like the OP throw around crazy numbers/feats/achievements like it's nothing, or maybe just slightly above average. Making 2 million+, even at 35, is WELL above average, easily a 99.9th+ percentile income even in HCOL. Being in shape and also being a super high earner is much harder than you probably think. I'm not sure what "somewhat tall" means....6'0? So like only 15% of men? And a much smaller portion of that is going to be making 2M+ at 35 and be in shape. And finally, the statistics aren't too clear/available for this one but I think a good portion of men start balding at 30, and even their late 20s. So to have a combination of all of that....you are talking about the top 0.01% of men. What's to say these guys haven't settled down??

If we haven't scared any of the WSO ladies away already, would love to hear your perspectives as people who work the same shitty hours.

Likelihood that you, and 99% of this forum hitting 2mil / year by age 35 is slim to none. Self selection bias and the desire to equate hard work / smarts to annual compensation completely removes the most important element of all to making 2 mil / year versus something more reasonable and that's .... luck. 

Just like money, once you've got it, it becomes less exciting. A person who owns 5 ferrari's buying their 6th is 100% less happy than when he bought his first. The same is with the "chase" of dating around. At some point, you'll get tired of having sex with smoke shows who are dating you for your money. If that weren't the case, you might as well be a male pornstar to bang smokeshows or better yet just pay for escorts.

Settling = having a connection. When you get ill, who do you want taking care of you? Who will take care of you? Your 2 mil a year will certainly buy a great in-home nurse and the best medical care but guess what, when you're not working that high finance job you'll get replaced... then what... 

At OP, it seems like you have a part A and B question. 1A. why do people settle 1B. if they are settling with their "soul mate", what are the odds that its actually someone in their town city, and not someone on the other side of the planet. 

as @falconeagle said above (but I'll go a slightly different direction), what do you mean by "settle". If you found someone who had the exact personality you wanted, but they were a 6 in looks rather than an 8, is that settling? What about if you flipped it, would that be settling as well? Or is settling literally just getting married? That said, do some people settle --> yes. That's because, people settle in so many other things in life, why would you expect them to not settle in a relationship?

Dating, as it is now, is somewhat of new idea. Keep going back in time in, and you find people met other people less and less, not like we have now. Problem now is, there's so many things people have on their "checklist" for a husband/wife, its harder and harder to date. Think about when your grandparents (if you're from the US as I don't really know other countries), you think they worried about if they had hobbies in common, or liked to travel, or had the same political views?

Couple points why people settle/get married (not exhaustive):

1. most want to. Someone people don't want to get with a bunch of chicks, it's not high on their list. Or they would rather have kids and a family young. 

2. As said above, some people get married just because they don't want to be single, or because their friends are all getting married and they think they should, or they just don't want to date. 

3. Sometimes, people get married because its a mutual benefit. It's like when an older rich guy has a trophy wife. They might not like each other, or spend time together, but she needs him for his money, and he needs her to showoff at events and stuff. 

Finally, "soul mate odds". Again, define what you're talking about. It's like having a job, if out of college someone said to you they would give you a job that is 96% of what you want, would you take it, or would you think you can find a 100% job. 96% is pretty high. Now start going down the line, 94%, 89%, thats still pretty high. 

it burns you out.

I think you are confusing settling down and ‘settle.’  Settling down isn’t a Pejorative 

Why would a person like that ‘settle?’  for some objectively bad partner? I have no idea, ask a psychiatrist. 

Why would the person you describe  ‘Settle down?” Because of many of the reasons laid out. Because by 40 you no longer think like a 20 year old.

 Also, having that kind of income, you have branched out and met many different people in many counties from many schools, lived in multiple tier 1 cities domestically possibly internationally … 15 years  post grad is a lot of life. (It goes far too quickly…)  This is counter to your idea that you’re settling down w/ someone in your city, country or same school.  You interests and hobbies and network allow you to meet the quality of person you’d want to settle down with. 

The person you describe wants to date their equal. They’ve experienced enough personal growth to eventually realize what they want in a relationship.

A smoke show is great but when you finally realize what love looks like(and probably realize you’ve ignored true love/been blind to it  b/c of your focus on work etc, you snap the fuck out of your delusional narrative and get straight with building a life with this person. Even for Chads, there are limited opportunities for true love… they don’t come around often. 

The amount of support the right partner can give you, can propel you to reach the next level… and at that kind of income, you’ve probably hit a few bumps along the way, and if you havent you will. And coming home to the right woman, makes all the difference. 

There are an infinite number of potential partners out there. Everybody by definition "settles" when they choose someone to be with, at any age.

Settling isn't quantified by your partner's looks, rather their character.

I think people get married/settle by 35 because they feel like it makes their social image look bad to their peers if they don't. A lot of people think that getting married and having a family by a certain age makes them look like they "made it". Personally, I don't believe in this mindset and I would rather just never marry anyone unless I absolutely found the one. But, a lot of people care about others opinions and want their status/image to make them look like they are on "track" with their friend group. It's kind of like why do people go to college, join a frat, not go eat lunch alone etc. People want to fit in. It's called herd mentality.

I don't care if someone does this because it's their life, but as I have gotten older I've realized that marriage doesn't provide much benefit to men, especially if you have money. For now I'm fully on the casual dating train unless something drastically changes with me. Also, I wouldn't want to marry a girl unless she's a virgin, so the chance of finding an American chick who is a virgin but also not socially awkward is very low.