Elusive Hapiness - Can we ever be happy?
It's pretty obvious that most of the people on this forum are incredibly motivated by money . My question to you all is how much have you actually pondered why you are drawn to succeed in terms of gaining material wealth? Do you think money will make you happy? Many studies have found a rather weak correlation between wealth (past a certain point) and happiness. I've been thinking about this a lot for some time now.
I've come to the conclusion that it is largely genetic and that some people simply have higher expectations than others. These people, many on this board, expect a certain lofty goal and therefore think they will only achieve happiness if they achieve that goal. Some may go as far as saying they will never be completely content until they become billionaires.
Have you ever considered that this incredibly high ambition is simply an evolutionary advantage for reproduction and survival and will actually never result in hapiness? It is evolutionarily advantageous to think you will not be happy until you achieve some great feat (exp. hunting a lot of game)..
HOWEVER, it is not evolutionarily advantageous to ever be happy for a long period of time, no matter the reward. For example, it would be advantageous for you to feel happy once you've hunted a lot of game, but after a certain point, you need more ambition again to keep hunting. Furthermore, there are very few humans who have ever accomplished enough that they will no longer need to work for the rest of their lives to survive. Therefore, all of us have it hardcoded into us that the only way we can be happy is if we strive for the top, but once we get there - if we get there- we might still never feel content.
Are we being fooled by our own genetics, and are people like us who have super high ambitions actually worse off because we have higher expectations which we will likely never reach? Consider Romney. The guy started a successful fund, but that wasn't enough. He needed to become president. He lost and was obviously devastated. I have another friend who is perfectly happy with being a PA (physician assistant) for example. Once he finishes PA school, I presume he'd feel as happy as I would feel if I'm running a hedge fund. He, however, would arguable have a lot less stress and a higher quality of life. However, my genetics simply do not allow me to strive for being a PA or a nurse, no that there's anything wrong with those professions.
Isn't this all pretty depressing? Or more interestingly, are we striving for something other than happiness?
It depends on how you define happiness. If you mean happy, as in a pleasant feeling, that will always come and go. Personally, I seek to be fullfilled in what I do, and then the ups and downs don't phase me too much.
one thing.....genetically motivated to be a PA? I am family friends with one of the guys that helped create the credential, and he's far more successful than many people in finance, so I'm not sure what you're getting at. Wealth =/= success, they are two very different concepts, despite what you may be currently telling yourself.
We're all just hamsters on a wheel, brother.
Get complacent and you feel as if you're wasting your life not living to your potential. Stay too ambitious and you risk mindlessly chasing a carrot on a stick, moving from goal to goal with no respite as life passes you by. Where's the happy medium?
A lot of people try for wall street and fail and are miserable. PA guy PROBABLY made the smart move in the end. Easy to find employment (big shortage). Easy work. 100k/year. And if he lives in the right city/town he'll probably be the big shot among his friends and prospective women. e.g. nobody in seattle talks about wall street.
Hell I'd go so far as the say the % of "happy" PAs is much much higher than wall street employees. Mostly because it AIN'T just the money. It's the relative success (money) compared to your peers or the people you hear about everyday. You can't go one day in finance without hearing about the big shots that you'll PROBABLY never be, and quality girls in NYC aren't impressed with your job unless you're akin to that hot shot trader she heard about the other day, which you will PROBABLY never be. (btw by "you" I mean any WSO'ER including myself- not you personally)
So yeah- don't chase money. Chase money adjusted for (1) probability of getting it* and (2) it relativity to the rest of people in your social network**. At least that's what I've figured out.
*for wall street that's very low. For PA- get into PA school and its done. **for PA, you still have doctors above you. That will suck. But wall street is much worse.
Interesting perspective, Readline. Right now I'm in a position where I either choose some sure thing FLDP offers in flyover country that pay close to 100k in low cost of living areas, or the pursuit of more "prestigious" finance jobs in NYC where the cost of living and quality of life are, to put it mildly, horrible. On the one hand I know that option A would keep me relatively happy, but I'm more impressed with people who take option B, as they're revered within my professional network. And a couple have done extraordinarily well.
I can't help but think that even though the likelihood of me failing in Finance is high, I should at least try it for a couple of years and use it as a springboard of some sort. Your post has given me pause, though. I'd likely hate it, which would rule me out as a "winner" within the field.
Interesting perspective, Readline. Right now I'm in a position where I either choose some sure thing FLDP offers in flyover country that pay close to 100k in low cost of living areas, or the pursuit of more "prestigious" finance jobs in NYC where the cost of living and quality of life are, to put it mildly, horrible. On the one hand I know that option A would keep me relatively happy, but I'm more impressed with people who take option B, as they're revered within my professional network. And a couple have done extraordinarily well.
I can't help but think that even though the likelihood of me failing in Finance is high, I should at least try it for a couple of years and use it as a springboard of some sort. Your post has given me pause, though. I'd likely hate it, which would rule me out as a "winner" within the field.
Exactly but if you take away that desire to make money and take away the metaphorical wheel then we are hamsters sitting in a cage. Those hamsters live a miserable existence and die early.
Kind of terrifying that ultimately, there doesn't seem to be a point to any of this, whether you're out there grinding it out or being a slacker. "Happiness" really is relative.
Jesus, I gotta get off this website. I always seem to stumble upon depressing shit. I was happier when I was just psyched about making an upper middle class income as a former Big 4 auditor. Since finding this site, I've learned a lot, but also get depressed about the relative lack of money I can expect, yet even the prospect of post-IB money doesn't intrigue me all that much.
Think I'm gonna use one of those Chrome add ons to block the site for a little while lol
Haha, I haven't found a place that serves a better ego check than WSO.
Too many people get sucked into other people's vision of happiness or worse, some marketing guy's vision of what happiness should be.
If you actually go after what you want, you should be happy. Yes, there are ups and downs, but in general nothing can keep you from being happy except yourself. Your parents' opinions don't mean shit (I don't care what culture you're from), your friends opinions don't mean shit, only your opinion means anything. You get to make the decisions as to what you do with your life. If being happy means you have to be ostracized from your family, welp, decide what's more important to you and suck it up.
That is all unless you're a spoiled twat that expects everything to line up for you because you want it. If a kid who gets one meal per day can find happiness with a tire and a stick, I better be able to find happiness somewhere in my smartphone, laptop, at the bar, with my friends, in the good food I'm eating, or what have you.
If I can't find happiness with what I have, I'm a worthless piece of shit and I need to seriously reevaluate my life. Actually, if that's the case, I should seriously consider suicide.
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