In Uncertain Situation - Need Advice
Hi everyone, so I find myself in an uncertain situation and would appreciate advice.
I am interning at a large PE fund this summer with potential for a FT analyst offer for when I graduate. I recently found out that one of the associates joining the fund from banking is someone from my school that I had a bit of an unfortunate history with.
Basically when I was a freshman in college, I got into a dumb drunk party fight with this person's friend. Since then (was probably the single most stupid thing I did in my life) I have never done anything like that (I actually don't even drink anymore) but I never got the chance to apologize or clear things up.
I am concerned that when I am interning this summer, this person will remember me from my past mistakes and will hold them against me, potentially harming my chances for a return offer. I'm scared that even if I do a great job as an intern, this person could be a voice against me when the team decides who to give FT offers to (potentially even leading me to develop a bad rep with other coworkers). I am also concerned that any attempts I make at apologizing (if this person even agrees to talking) will be futile given that it will seem like I am just sucking up.
What advice do you have for this situation? What should I do? I recognize the error of my ways but also don't feel like it should lead to me potentially missing out on my dream job, especially with how long ago that was and how much I have changed since then. Especially concerned given the increased uncertainty regarding return offers for interns in large cap PE vs banking (I know the return offer rates at some places are <50%). Don't want to be left looking for a last minute FT job.
Two paths here I'd say: 1) figure out if he actually remembers any of this. Is this a situation where the guys not going to remember a small incident from 3 years ago that he wasn't even directly involved in? Don't know the exact situation, but maybe you're clear... if not, 2) you need to be upfront about apologizing for it. The reality of the situation is that he will definitely mention the incident to others at the firm (assuming it was egregious enough for him to care to remember) so your only way out is the way he tells them. He can either say "yeah this guys a douche and we definitely shouldn't hire him" or "yeah funny story he got in a fight with my friend back in school but wasn't a big deal and seems cool now". Best bet of getting the second reaction is getting out ahead and telling him it was a dumb drunk mistake and that there's no hard feelings.
Got it, thanks for your advice. I would love to reach out to him to clear things up, but don't really know how to phrase it (or when the best time to do it would be.. after internship starts or before).
Also he's a banking analyst now so he's probably really busy, don't want to seem annoying. How should I go about it?
well if he’s on the desk at the same time as u just ask if him if he wants to get a coffee and then if it’s a big deal it will come up. If not, you have a good chat and he fucks w u. I wouldn’t put anything in writing especially in your work email.
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I would reach out to the guy like "hey, it's been a long time, why don't we catch up?" and then bring the story up by saying something like "I was a real douche, very sorry about it"
Guy doesn’t want to talk - what do I do?
Then just forget about and move on, nothing else you can do
How big is this Associate? Could you take him in a fight too?
Kind of depends on the fight.
Small drink skirmish with a tertiary friend of his? Would he even remember?
Or did you knock his friend out cold right in front of his face or something?
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