Roast my cold email - for alumni
Hi....,
I hope you’re doing well. My name is ...., and I’m a sophomore at ......, planning to major in Statistics. I recently learned about your experience in Healthcare Investment Banking and was inspired by your journey.
I’m reaching out because I’m interested in pursuing a similar path and have tried to explore this space through past internships, which I’ve genuinely enjoyed. I’d love to connect and learn more from your experiences—both at ...... and throughout your career—and hear what inspired you to specialize in Healthcare. I’d also be grateful for any advice you might have as a ......... alum navigating the industry.
If you’re available, I’d greatly appreciate the chance to chat and can adjust to whatever works best for you. I’m generally free after 12 PM throughout the week. I’d be happy to send over a calendar invite to make scheduling easier. I’ve also attached my resume if you’d like to learn more about me.
Thank you so much! I look forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
....
too long
Way too long. One paragraph max. 3-4 sentences.
Yeah first thought that pops into my mind is: I ain’t readin all dat
“planning to major in” —> just say “studying”
Hi .....,
I hope you’re doing well! My name is ...., a sophomore at ....... studying Mathematics. I recently learned about your experience at PWP and was inspired by your journey.
I’m reaching out because I’m interested in pursuing a similar path and would love to learn more about your experiences and what led you to focus on the ..... group. Any insights or advice you could share as a fellow ... alum would be invaluable.
I’d greatly appreciate the chance to chat. I can adjust to your schedule and am generally free after 12 PM throughout the week. I’ve also attached my resume if you’d like to learn more about me.
Thank you so much! I look forward to hearing from you.
Best,
.......
what about now?
Delete the entire second paragraph
Just introduce yourself, say you’re interested in banking and their firm, ask for a time to chat, and provide a general schedule of what works for you.
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