Actual horror story I heard today - wrong client
Long-time lurker, seldom poster. So now I'm a second-year analyst at BB. Heard this story today. So priceless I had to post it.
A few years ago, a certain MD calls his entire team together at Friday afternoon at 3, and spends the next 2-3 hours rambling off random things off the top of his head. Turns out he has a meeting the following Monday with Time Warner. The pitch is bullshit: "strategic alternatives".
Translation: do every analysis about every plausible and implausible thing TW can do, and chances are they'll roll their eyes and say thank you, but you still have to put together a 100+ page deck, and your entire weekend is ruined.
MD then walks out, and says, "Oh, I'll be out in the Hamptons, cell service is really spotty, but I'll drive back to Manhattan Sunday night and give you comments then."
Translation: even though your weekend is ruined, I'll kill your Sunday night too.
Team spends the Friday night, Saturday, Saturday night, and Sunday in a truly heroic effort pulling together a long 100+ page deck on possible "strategic alternatives" for the the MD. Analyst pulls all nighters. Associate pulls all nighters. VP pulls all nighters. The deck is sent off to the MD at 6 PM Sunday.
MD emails back at 2 AM, "Oh hey guys, actually the meeting is with Time Warner Cable, not Time Warner." (Time Warner Cable is a completely different company from Time Warner.) Monday morning, MD emails the team again, "All right guys, I called and we're going to reschedule the meeting for Tuesday (i.e. tomorrow). Let's get a strategic alternatives deck for TW Cable for then."
Translation: Your time and efforts are meaningless to me. Fuck you all. After staying up all weekend doing this painful slog of unnecessary work that will go nowhere, you're going to go do it again.
I heard the team went to HR for this, and the MD eventually got completely biatched out.
Scary thing is, I know this MD, and have had the privilege of working with him briefly. I would totally believe this story.
Cool story bro
Umm....no, don't believe it. The same MD likely wouldn't be covering each of those companies or ever get them confused. They are in completely different businesses, different competitors, different relevant industry multiples, etc.
An MD in M&A may cover both.
But yeah don't really believe it as it seems implausible on too many counts.
Based on how this was written, the industry coverage banker would have been involved and likely generating this work product. Typically a M&A banker wouldn't pursue this type of meeting without involving the coverage guy(s).
good story, gave me enough laughs
I know at which bank this happened..... True story
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