Being Gay in Investment Banking - London

edited because of the PC police.

Avoid it, I am sure that it wont help in the dynamics. Everyone wants to share something in common, appetite for good looking girls is truly something that most IBankers have. To be honest, most girls in banking are hot, better % than in any other job. Breaking bonds that fast can have a lasting effect in your career or staffings.

previous two posts are from fucking idiots.

close friend of mine is lesbian, and was open about it with her bank from day one - not openly stating she was a lesbian tbf, but wouldn't lie about spending time with her girlfriend, that kind of thing.

you're gay, why bother trying to hide it? just be yourself my dude. i think it will be less of an issue than you think it is.

Wasn’t there a Goldman executive who got fired for hiding it a few years back?

Are you starting at the same place you were for the summer? If so, that doesn't sound like the best place to come out. Honestly, just tell the people your close to like 2-3 months in and it will eventually spread. Don't make a big coming out statement.

I personally don't know any gay men in investment banking. Most likely they exist but don't talk about it. I'm lesbian and was out at every place I interned by mentioning that my last vacation was with my gf or that we watched the new movie together. I haven't had an issue so far. But as you mentioned in an earlier comment, there might be a difference in the experience of gays and lesbians.

Here is a https://outstanding.involvepeople.org/100-lgbt-executives-2019/</a">list with 100 LGBT+ executives. The banks with out executives are: Standard Chartered, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, Macquarie, Credit Suisse, BNP Paribas, Citi, TD Bank Group, Bank of America, RBC, HSBC, Northern Trust.

Here are two articles about gay people on Wall Street, one from https://nymag.com/nymetro/urban/gay/features/911/index1.html</a">1999 and one from https://www.institutionalinvestor.com/article/b15yww7r3f1jpm/gay-on-wal…</a">2017. Maybe you can glean some insights.

Edit: Similar https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/being-gayles-on-street</a">thread a few months ago.

dont say it not because its a taboo but it is not anyone’s business. you don’t wanna be defined by being gay but by work. you don’t want to become the gay analyst, you want to be become x insert first name who is known for their professionalism. especially at first. it is not about being gay but about how much you want to let people in your life. My best friend from work is a lesbian and she never wants to announce it because there is never any occasion to do so, so there is no need.

One ED and VP in my team are both gay and open about it. I think that most people are open-minded when it comes to being LGBT+, though you are in banking so your private life shouldn't take over professionalism - ie don't be that gay guy (basically the stereotype that does not accurately represent what being gay actually is) with purple hair and that has very girly mimics.

Also close to an associate that is gay in financial services (Big4 TAS/MM M&A type) - happy to chat about this in PMs.

dude screw all these prior posts. you are awesome the way you are. don’t let anyone else stop you or intimidate you from being the truest version of yourself. it’s 2020 not 1990, being gay in the US is fine.

Nobody cares, people will just judge your job performance. Principal in my PE fund is openly gay and married to a man, nobody F. cares and people went to his wedding. Good for him if he's happy

Can't speak for London specifically, but I don't think anyone will care if you're gay. I wouldn't try to hide it or make a big statement about it either way. If it's a BB I would imagine they have LGBT events, so may be worth getting involved there. Only thing that matters is how good of an analyst you are.

send me a PM

I can't speak on IB but I hope it wouldn't be all that different from CRE brokerage/Capital Markets in the following comparison: Nobody cares if you are an asset to the team. This is true whether you are straight/gay/married/single/whatever. You do not have to disclose if you don't want to but I am of the opinion that being true to yourself is beneficial both personally and professionally in the long-run.

I would not flaunt your relationship status or preferences but I would discourage anyone from doing this routinely regardless of status/preference. Professionalism is important. On the same coin, I would be confident in who you are and would not hide or lie about it when you feel it is appropriate.

One of the most popular team members at my firm is openly gay. He crushes his work and always has a great attitude in the office. As a result, he is one of the most well liked (and productive) members of our team. I can't be certain your firm will be the same but if they are not, I sincerely hope you find a place that is because in 2020 it is absolutely ridiculous for your sexual preference to have any impact on your career trajectory. Be confident in who you are and kill your work.

There are a few openly gay males at my bank (EB in NY), including some very successful MDs, and there is no zero issue. Nobody cares as long as your abilities and work product are there. 1% of the most recent partner MD class at GS identified as LGBT and 2% of the most recent MD class identified as LGBT

You have nothing to worry about. Be yourself

If I were in your position, I would just go about my day and not hide anything. I would also not make a point of telling anyone. If someone asks, tell them the truth. If they don't, why bother? I think that way it makes it a non-issue for your coworkers. You won't seem dishonest or self-conscious for hiding it, nor will you come off as attention or special treatment seeking by making it a formal announcement.

How does liking the D have to do anything with IBD, or work in general?

The reality is as long as you don't make being "gay" as your primary identity, nobody is really going to care. There's an analyst in the class above me who was gay and he was chill about it and nobody gave two shits.

You be you OP.

so.. in my team there are a few MEN who are known to be gay. If you want to trust me you are gonna be fine. Let’s think about this: are you gonna tel your desk “neighbour” that you like pasta with pesto? If things don’t come out specifically on that topic no one would give a shit about what you eat etc. The same should be with you being gay. You like men, I’m so fine with it but I don’t really see the point of making a big deal out of it. I never talked about my gf on the job, only if people explicitly asked me. You should definitely follow the same strategy. That also means that if guys see a good-looking woman and your mates make a comment about her, no one stops you from saying that she’s pretty. I am straight and sometimes I admitted that a man was good looking. Anyway, just to sum it up, don’t get into the office and say it out loud. I am the most open person in the world and some of my best friends are gay but I just don’t see the point of that “i feel special cuz of it”. Feel free to be yourself tho, IB is not only a place for douches luckily

As well as all of the positive comments above, i would consider questioning whether you would want to work in a place where you are forced to hide a core part of your identity to your coworkers, because I don't think I would.

I think most of the institutions are very LGBT-friendly these days. I can't speak for London itself tho, since I'm based in Asia. I suggest you be yourself. HOWEVER please note that personal details and your home life generally have limited place in the workplace. Aside from hanging up the picture of the family somewhere on the desk (got to keep my mind on why I'm grinding and who I'm really working for) I try to keep my personal life well outside of the workplace. No one wants to hear about personal life problems with a gf/wife/bf/whatever, irrespective of our orientation.

So in sum: Can you be openly gay in ibanking? Yes.
Are the banks progressive? Yes, if nothing else because they are scared of lawsuits.
Are all of your co-workers going to be equally open minded? Most will be, but humans as a species are total assholes and you'll likely encounter some particularly egregious assholes in this industry. So you never know. Does anyone want to know about your personal life, irrespective of sexual orientation? Not at all.

I’d love to tell you OP to come out and be open with it, as I would suggest in any other industry. But IB is still a very static and lagging industry in terms of social issues. I’m not talking about different roles in investment banks but IB/cap mkts specifically, deal teams. I doubt you’ll find any colleagues at the analyst/associate/vp level who are openly gay. There’s prolly more risks than benefits. IB is very much about relationships and IB doesn’t have the most forward-looking ideologies. But if the benefits of not having to hide with your own personal mental health outweighs that then so be it. Just be prepared to fight an uphill battle.