Deferring Offer?

Hi all, 

I currently have an offer for summer 2021 as an IB intern at a top BB, which I'm thrilled about. The only problem is, my girlfriend is 1 year younger than me. If I accept a FT offer for after graduation, I will have to leave school and her for NYC and do long-distance for a year. I assume the long hours and stress of IB compounds the difficulty of doing long-distance. 

Is there any way that I can defer my offer by one year to synchronize our lives? What is typical BB policy on this and can I end up getting my offer rescinded if I mention wanting to defer to HR? Do any of you have experience doing the long-distance thing while working in IB? This has been stressing me out a ton so would appreciate any insight you guys might have. I think Citi (I don't work there) had a program where incoming analysts can defer for a year to do some sort of charity work. 

Tl;dr: an IB internship is a dream opportunity I busted my ass to get but I also fear that it could destroy relationships in my personal life

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Comments (8)

May 12, 2021 - 12:06pm

All of this depends who or what you value most. If you believe that the relationship won't survive a LDR, I'd probably concur. Lost many gfs due to moving around and distance.
If you believe that these kind of job opportunities will come often in your life, then go ahead. If you are from a target or have a good network or interview well, it might be the case. Or it might not be.

My personal opinion is that a relationship is worth something if you know her well and it was positive so far. You are both young, so unless you made some kind of pact to get married one day - there is also a chance that you two won't work out in the long run.

Best of luck.

  • Intern in Consulting
May 12, 2021 - 1:44pm

Every poor decision I've ever made has been putting a female first over myself or my close friends. Thought I would marry the chick I dated for two years through high school and college, but surprise surprise, she ended up becoming a bitch. Who knew?

If your relationship can't survive long distance and IB hours it probably won't survive later anyways. Best advice is to take the offer and try to make it work but make sure to focus on yourself. There are SO many girls out there. If you can defer, I guess you could do that but what happens if you break up and wasted a year instead of just biting the bullet and seeing if your relationship is as strong as it actually is?  

  • Intern in IB-M&A
May 12, 2021 - 6:38pm

If you can't do just one year of long-distance, she ain't the one - no offense. Delaying graduation or deferring the offer is just stupid.

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  • Analyst 2 in IB - Cov
May 12, 2021 - 6:50pm

My gf was 2 years younger than me when I graduated and we did 2 years of long distance and survived if that helps. I wouldn't delay your start date or jeopardize your career. You've known this is coming for some time now so you've had to have some conversations about it already. Realistically if you can't survive long distance for a year, you probably wouldn't last in the long run (even if you were both in NYC, it would be like a long distance relationship because you're working so much)

May 13, 2021 - 2:29am

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