Dream Power Couple: MD banker wife & VP PE husband???

I don't think any VP working in PE does 40-50 hours per week

Pathetic post, no cap

Cringe post lol

Yeah I'd probably get a nanny / fuck-boy-you-can-bitch-around (your choice) if I'm at that income level

Dont get the negativity. Definitely a concern an overachiever 21-year old would have: trying to plan her entire life out

This is so cringe, I can’t even...

You are going to be miserable if you try to plan your life with this kind of mindset. I recommend you change it.

This kinda sus

shut the fuck up and go birth babies!

I can’t tell if this is a serious post or not. Absolute cringe

Good idea, but personally I’m to marry a CEO of a Fortune 500 company

I think some of you seriously overestimate the compensation of private equity. Yes the carry potential is great but it’s just that potential. It’s long dated compensation with a vesting period that ultimately may lead to $0 cash flow (in other words don’t expect to see a single dollar of that until at the earlier Year 5 assuming the fund actually clear it’s threshold). The all-in cash compensation is still massive but the real dollars is on the back-end.

Additionally, your typical PE professional is not “stay at home dad” material nor do they want to be. You’re always “on” when you’re in finance regardless.

Bankers worrying about clients and converting business development to deals and PE guys worrying about their LPs, the next fund raise and whether leveraging that random ShitCo to 7x was a smart move.

You’re presumably what? 20 / 21? Enjoy life and pursue whatever career you want whether it’s IB or PE. Not everything has to be planned out like you’re preparing for IB SA interviews. You’ll realize soon life is not that clean cut.

Intern in IB - Ind:

Hi WSO,

I’m actually quite active here but want to keep at least my WSO personality anonymous on this one. I’m a female from a target school just finishing up my summer IB internship at a top BB (MS/GS/JPM). People from this group regularly exit to the top MF/PE firms after their analyst stint and naturally Im starting to think about my own professional future.

As it comes across to me, everyone wants to exit to PE for a combination of reasons. The most common ones I see are: higher compensation (really when carried interest kicks in), marginally better hours (50-60 can be the norm depending on seniority, live deal or not etc., and most notably, the whole “not having to be some client’s bitch”. It seems that the men on this forum want to be the on the investing side, actually calling the shots rather than being a glorified salesmen their entire career. (Yes, Im sure you really like the market and shit too but that’s not really the point) It also seems to me that there’s not many women in PE, and maybe the hyper masculine culture maybe has something to do with it— who knows/who cares.

When I think about my own career, I don’t really see myself gunning for PE after my two year stint. For one, I think it’s incredibly risky and even more competitive than banking in the long run. I don’t mind competition per se, but I also don’t think making half a million a year as someone who stayed behind in banking all the way to the MD level is necessarily chump change either. I also am pretty confident in my ability to move up the ranks to MD at my current place should I choose to do so— and really don’t mind...being in sales? I am quite relationship driven, extroverted, good looking, competent, and while I’m intellectually stimulated by finance, I don’t feel like I have desire to be an investor myself. I’ve also a few examples of women at BB firms that have stayed in banking and are MD’s around age 30 (some with MBAs and some without), with their husband and kid(s). I believe that’s the path I want to take for myself

So here’s where the discussion comes in. Wouldn’t the perfect finance power couple be a wife who is a MD at a top BB and a husband who is killing it PE? In terms of family, my thought process is even IF my hours at the senior banker level are still awful banking hours, my husband who would work in PE would ideally have more free time (working 40-50 hours) and could kind of pick up a little extra in terms of nurturing our family? I know the super macho WSO frat stars who think women should birth babies and shut the fuck up are about to chime in, but I would think there are some “family guys” out there that wouldn’t mind being the “stay at home dad” type? By this time I’d imagine WFH would be even more normalized, so who’s to say both us wouldn’t have considerably more time at home for family.

Furthermore, since my husband would probably still be making way more money than I did, he could still feel like the big-man breadwinner of the House, so it seems like a win win.

Curious to know your guys’ thoughts on this. Would you be happy in a situation like this? Don’t think this is feasible? How does your idea of family structure determine your opinion? Women in banking— your input is also strongly appreciated. Looking forward to the conversation.

I'm not going to MS this post because I think you are asking a feasible and interesting question.

Before I get into the meat, I will just say that as another poster mentioned, PE is hardly as glorious as some are making it out to be. It is typically a pay cut for some period of time and the long-term benefits aren't realized for a considerable amount of time, which presents risk, among other issues. On top of that, many of the PE guys I know (including those in the MM) are still responsive over the weekend, late at night, etc., so let's make sure we acknowledge that its demands are far from a typical corporate position.

Lastly, as competitive as banking can be, it's hard to envision private equity not evolving into something worse in terms of work-life balance over the next decade. There are more and more funds, more capital needs to be deployed, shrinking supply of attractive assets - all of which signifies considerable downward pressure on forward-looking returns (which impacts the value of carry). In addition, to differentiate, there has to be people willing to work harder (close deals quicker, more internal diligence, more portfolio work) to generate superior performance.

As a parent, let me weight in the the following thoughts:

Like you, when I was young, I envisioned marrying someone that would be incredibly successful and we would be a power couple. I ended up marrying someone that thinks about life considerably different (opposites attract) than I do and desires to work in a field with a much better work-life balance. My wife chose to continue working post-children, and I supported that, even if it doesn't always seem to make the most "sense".

My wife grew up with a mother and father that were in demanding fields (lawyer, physician) and was raised in part by a nanny, who she was not fond of. Therefore, she is more demanding of my time and attention that I dedicate to the family than a typical spouse because she grew up wealthy, but without some of the memories and enjoyment of her parents. She still holds some of that resentment to this day.

You are describing a dual professional track that will require a considerable amount of assistance (e.g., nanny, grandparents, etc.) to raise the children. There's nothing specifically wrong with that, and I know some people that have kids don't actually enjoy being a parent. However, most do, and often times the biggest regrets from those in any demanding professional field is the lack of time spent with their family, particularly when their kids are young and growing up.

In 2019, I traveled a considerable amount of time, particularly over specific months. If the COVID situation gave me anything, it was a profound enjoyment of watching my kids grow up much more than I otherwise would have been able to do. The funny and invaluable moments are impossible to enjoy via FaceTime or simply on weekends.

In short, many people realize that there is much, much more to life than money, notoriety, influence, etc. That doesn't mean a traditional family life is for everyone, but if that is something that you think you want, you will enjoy it even more once you meet your kids.

Sorry for the rant.

I feel like they would be two competitive people and both work pretty hard, so the release via sex would be great.