Hot Finance Girl tells her JDate story

Scenario: Lonely Man in Westchester on JDate IM's Hot Finance Girl and She Declines his IM.
Solution: Lonely Man in Westchester decides thats its a good idea to privately J-date message Hot Finance Girl and asks why she would do such a thing as to decline his IM just by looking at his picture. Hot Finance Girl (while claiming she is always really busy) decides to have a little fun (because that is exactly what her life lacks right now)

If you have the time, this might be entertaining for you

---Original Message--- Lonely Man in Westchester

I am just curious why you declined? If it is because you are busy that is fine or is it something else? Could you please tell me because I am trying to figure out how the woman mind works when it comes to online dating?

---Original Message--- Hot Finance Girl

You know, I appreciate the asking for feedback as I used to do that during the hundreds of interviews I went through when I was in school and i was always so happy when someone actually took the time to draft a reply so here is me spreading the love back

1. This time - It's not me, it's you - i declined you because you didnt really seem like my type

2. i make quick judgements and decisions - some would call it a gut feeling, others might use the word judgmental. either way - it usually works in my favor - -> ie: if i time a trade (or date) right but other times it doesn't (the latter) but its shaped who i am - so hopefully no hard feelings.

3. Unlike my search for a job - i dont think a search for someone to date should be a planned decision - you kind of just learn by yourself how to navigate people and what people fit you.

4. Having said that, i did join this site about a week ago and invested real monetary value into something my friends claim "could work" - never in my life have i put money into something that "could work" but the Jdate representative on the phone sounded cute and threw in a 2 free weeks (guilty...)

5. i still laugh at myself for doing this and cant quite take it seriously and not sure i'll actually end up meeting someone but who knows... "it could work"

6. Every girl is different so theres not really a " ... this is what you do with a girl you meet online" manual. i am a girl online and I don't know what to do. if you do come across a manual, mind kindly just sending over a copy of the manuscript?

Hope theres an answer in there that you were looking for.

Good luck in your quest for love!

---Original Message--- Lonely Man in Westchester

I will admit the reason i contacted you is because you are very attractive. I also know that you can't judge a book by its cover or from reading a profile. The only way to truly get to know someone is to talk to them and maybe put them on the spot with a quesiton here or there to see the non-thinking gut answer.

So while i apprecaite your long and thorough response I have a problem with the fact you determine I am not your type just from pics and a profile. To be honest i found people that judge from pics and profile are purely superficial and only looking for six pack abs and money. Maybe if you took the time to chat with me you might look further into who a guy is and not what they took a while to type and post.

Good luck on your search and if you change you mind and would like to see if I really am "your type" I am here to chat.

---Original Message--- Hot Finance Girl

While I appreciate the initial complement (superficial or not), the second insult is just plain mean. I already admitted that I judge a book by its cover so not sure why you're still perplexed. To give you more detail on how how I came to my decision in declining your im - I will explain reasons why I declined you:

1. First glance - not that cute (aka I cant see myself romantically getting involved with him)

2. Second glance - "I'm bored so lets read the profile for kicks and see if he's at least funny" (i value funny to a whole other level)

3. Third glance - "nope not funny"

4. Fourth glance - your profile: "Looking for For: Marriage, A long-term relationship, Marriage & Children" vs. my profile: "Looking For: A date"

5. You live in Westchester, thats not exactly trendy LES (i just moved to the city and have a busy life, rather not complicate it more by having to commute to Westchester unless its for my manager's 4 year old birthday party

6. There is one thing i did like - the volunteer firefighter thing but still not worth a trip to Westchester

7. This one killed it - "Most of my friends are in long-term relationships, engaged or married so I am hoping the same luck can happen to me."

8. Most of my friends are partying their a$$ off in NYC and while I do hope to cut that portion down, I dont want to get rid of all of it. i like partying my a$$ off from time to time. I work hard, 24, single - not even close to being ready in the search for a husband. I havent even made my first million yet. I need to get my career established - so that comment about looking for six packs and money (while i do enjoy a six pack) - I could care less about how much money someone has. My parents moved their whole life to America for opportunities for their kids and raised me to get an education to be able to support myself and not rely on men. well i went to town on that advice and got myself to wallstreet and hopefully can see some 7 digits in the near future. so ill date a social worker making as much as I did when I waited tables in college, because i know i will have myself to thank for the future lavish lifestyle I hope to have established when I am your age.

Anyways, prob wasted to much time already (completely representative of how I live my life and prob could of made a trip to Westchester by now). hah. oh and just to get this straight so there is no misunderstanding or reading between the lines. I AM NOT FLIRTING. I AM NOT AT ALL INTERESTED IN YOU (not even a little) I did this purely for my entertainment and so I can copy and paste this in email to all my friends

But hopefully it can help you out (even tho you are a mean person) and that way I kill two birds with one stone. Entertain my friends and talk some sense into a lonely man that lives in Westchester.

Goodbye. No luck from me this time.

---Original Message--- Lonely Man in Westchester

You know what bothers me. You put more time into both of your responses then your profile. I am one that looks at the whole profile (not just pics) at first glance and maybe if you put most if not all of what you said to me in your profile I probably would not have IMed you because obviously we clearly have nothing in common.

Good luck with the "judging books by their cover" thing. In my years and my last relationship, I have learned that - it does not end successfully.

bye

---Original Message--- Hot Finance Girl

Heres a couple of reasons for my short profile ( I like to list things)

1. I have a short attention span (and therefore other people with similar short attention span type qualities will appreciate not reading a long profile). which makes me question why you imded me in the first place which either
   a. My theory is wrong (not possible - I am a woman which ultimately defaults to me being right)
   b. You thought I was hot (which is superficial, ironic and hypocritical all in one)

2. I like to be in control of the situation. I would rather filter people more than they filter me. Good people (like good covers) are hard to come by. and if you give someone more than just a cover (like more sample pages) than you're letting them do more of the filtering and therefore make a decision faster (not on your terms). I would rather someone just spend there money (time) and buy what they think is a good cover (my picture and my short paragraph - which i like to think i summed myself up pretty good) and then i get to decide if I like their cover (plus some sample pages)

The facebook generation really doesnt value privacy and likes to just pour everything out online.

This allows me to put myself more in control (more options) to make a decision (usually quick) on if I like what I see. in that case being - someone looking for marriage that lives in Westchester (although a volunteer firefighter) is not something I like to see.

Hope that put a grin on some of you (and no offense if you are a lonely man in Westchester but that is a f'in long a$$ drunk taxi ride away

Disclaimer: Lonely Man in Westchester (30/M) and Hot Finance Girl (24/F) have remained anonymous for security reasons

Feel free to leave comments and all is welcome - both support and rants (Lady Gaga style)