I Feel Like Such A Loser
So basically, in college I was a complete screwup. I got bad grades, didn't do any meaningful ECs, no internships and just spent the whole time partying at a non-target. Towards the end of college (late first semester senior year), I realized that I am really passionate about finance, how competitive it is and how my stupidity the prior terms may have screwed me up for life because I graduated with a 3.3 from a non-target in finance major. After this, I got my act together and started really learning everything I possibly could about finance, got my grades up as much as I could at that point (went from a 3.15 to 3.3 in my final year) and tried cold calling tons of banks/setting up informational interviews. This unfortunately didn't work and I then had to turn to family and tapping into every distant relative I could find. One of them has given me a shot at a no-name MM bank and said that he will give me an interview. I did well in the interview to secure a spot, but now its up to me and while it's still unlikely that I'll get a FT, I at least have a shot and I might be able to leverage this into something worthwhile later on.
While I feel really lucky to be in this spot, I still feel really bad. The only reason I'm anywhere right now is because of family, and if it weren't for their connections, I'd be a Starbucks Barista or something right now. I feel like I haven't earned anything and that there are tons of people smarter than me who deserve to be where I am more. Has anyone ever felt this way, and what would you say is the best way to overcome this feeling of worthlessness? Honestly, I feel embarrassed that I can't get anything myself, and have to rely on my network to get my anywhere, especially when all of my friends are getting offers through their own hard work and merit.
If it weren't for connections, a lot of people wouldn't be where they are...
Grab some sack and make the most of it
This business is ultimately about who you know. You think MD's win deals because they got a 3.9 in college? No. It's because they play golf with the CEO or belongs to the same smoking club as the CFO.
You were given a spot because they saw that you probably are smart and that you know how to interact with people. You have an opportunity to prove yourself. Use it.
Don't beat yourself over it. You got bad grades because you had a very bad work ethics, not because you were not smart. So you should not say that other people deserve your job because they are smarter than you The fact that you acknowledge your mistakes and face your failure is great. You started to fix the problem by improving your grades during your last semester. Sometimes, we can't make it on our own. We must accept the help of friends or family.
We all have our demons, and failure is sometimes an option. The brilliant CEOs ,CFOs, and inventors who at some point screw up in college would have never make it far if they had spent their days thinking that they don't deserve better.
Don't dwell on your past mistakes. Your relative is giving you a second shot so take it positively and use it as a mean to prove yourself. Focus on the job, not on your school transcript because once you start thinking that you are not worth it, you will go to work with that loser attitude and it reflect on your performance.
When you are used to failure, it becomes difficult for you to understand that you can succeed. You have a chance to turn things around, work hard to be successful where you are, excel and boost your confidence.
"I did well in the interview to secure a spot, but now its up to me and while it's still unlikely that I'll get a FT"
Please tell me you followed up and will continue to follow up after the interview.
Well, my internship hasn't started yet. They said that if I'm spectacular and I mean OUTSTANDING, they will hire me, but it's very unlikely that they will extend an offer because they said I need more experience first. They did say that if I do well, they'll give me some recommendations/contacts so that I can transition to the firm after getting some other finance experience. Unfortunately, all they are hiring me off of is the interview and grades and since my grades aren't that good, I need to prove myself elsewhere before they take a chance on me. I'm also trying to contact more firms and see if there are other family members who might be able to help me out.
you might have to bite the bullet for a couple years, build up some work experience and try again. not the end of the world if you dont get into IB this year
Cheer up OP. Other options and opportunities are available. For one, you could work in areas of finance outside of IB. Maybe you'll be even happier in S&T, PWM, or some other area. If not, maybe you can use an MSF or an MBA to get into IB (or some other area of finance that you're interested in). Or maybe you get a non-finance job that you love and play the markets in your free time. Anyway, my point is
No matter who you are, there are always several different careers, industries, and lifestyles that could make you similarly happy overall. The hard thing, is finding out what those things are for you, specifically.
“I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature.” -- Rockefeller
Also don't forget not to overestimate your competition. Interviewers will expect you to work harder because you have less impressive resume and thats exactly what you should do. Good luck.
Use the opportunity but keep the humility. Many folks are where they are because of family etc. What's worse; they don't recognise it!!! I know so many folks who are oblivious to how instrumental their family/circumstances/etc have been in allowing them to achieve. You will ultimately be a happier person if you take this piece of humility along with you and help anyone you can along the way. The alternative (folks who feel unduly entitled to career advancement and higher pay) will never feel truly, fully realized. best of luck.
Well, it's not gonna help worrying about what's happened right? So how about really doing spectacular at this internship and getting that offer?
Maybe instead of feeling bad you should be reading to get ahead. Besides, I've heard 80% of the ibanking work got jobs through networking/connections - and you did say you aced the interview right?
First of all, you should not be ashamed that you had to rely on friends and family. At all. Out of all the people working in Inv Banking as analysts/associates, how many do you think got a foot in the door because of friends? Because of family? A lot. Sure, some of them are there genuinely because of their hard work and merit, and the fact that they looked really good on paper and hence got chosen for interviews, but for the remaining 80%, it was because they networked a ton and hence had somebody ready to pick their resume out a pile. It was because one of their frat brothers from college was already an analyst or associate in the group. It was because their dad/uncle went to college with an MD in the group. Everybody always got help somewhere - nobody ever becomes successful based solely on their merit. It's always merit and a little bit of help.
The past is the past, the future is the future. keep it that way you are worrying about something you can't control(unless you have a time machine and can change the fact you didn't care in college). So take this as a gift a blessing whatever you want to call it. Run with it and do the best you can.
In the grand scheme of... umm, LIFE, you're fine.
What I suggest is stop taking people on this forum too seriously as it's full of college students who like to give advice about what constitutes success in life and what doesn't. It's not a representative cross-section of our country; and not only that, it's not a representative cross-section of the well-to-do portion of our country. Stop feeling bad for yourself, you'll be fine.
+1. Not trying to be rude to anybody on WSO, because (lord knows) I love you guys. Just saying, it's easy to get too caught up in the importance of all this stuff, and therefore it's too easy to overemphasize a lot of this stuff.
I just finished blowin 1.3 billion of my inheritance on expensive booze, ridiculous art and a bunch of yacths which I crashed into small marinas trying to impress women and Im left with no qualifications..
So come back if you are real problems.
Should have spent some of that coin on an English course.
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