Just need someone to tell me straight

With recruit for 2023 SA starting soon, I'll be grinding my ass off and literally have no social life. There's a girl who I've been talking to casually, who I'm not sure I entirely feel anything for. Do I let go and live out my fateful destiny of perpetual single-hood?

I know I already know the answer, but I've been struggling with telling myself the reality of my situation.

(Note: I've never been in a relationship before and she just seems like the perfect girl, hence making it all more difficult)

Comments (16)

Nov 16, 2021 - 11:36pm

Technicals for SA positions are not THAT hard. It is the easier questions out of each section in the 500 Q&A give or take depending on what you're going for. So that is not like taking on a part-time job or anything, even if you are SPED…

I'll only speak for myself, but quality over quantity on the networking calls. Even if you were on the quantity side of that argument, how many networking calls can you actually have in a day? Not to mention, can you get enough people to actually respond to you to have said amount of calls?

Stand-alone neither technicals nor networking are bad. Together they do take some sacrifices in time, but like sacrificing going to a basketball game here, or not drinking on a specific night there. Not "I can't form or build any personal or romantic relationships" level of sacrifice for SA recruiting lol.

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Nov 14, 2021 - 11:15pm

The myth on here that you need to put life on hold for recruiting is absolutely insane. Sure, recruiting is a grind and you'll have networking calls and technical prep, but if you're spending more than ~20 hours a week on recruiting you're doing it wrong. I think realistically that number should be  

Even if you're at a nontarget, I still think any more time spent recruiting is just diminishing returns. IB technicals are not that hard that it's a full time job to learn them. You only have so many alumni/banks to apply to that you can't possibly spend that much time networking. Would love to hear from someone who spent 40+ hours a week recruiting and understand what you were actually doing…

Nov 15, 2021 - 3:04pm

When you die, you won't be thinking "damn, I didn't answer that working capital question from my GS interview correctly in 2023." Come on Notebook let's go.

  • 2
Nov 15, 2021 - 3:22pm

As others have said, recruiting shouldn't take up all of your time.  But it's a lot easier to get into the industry, grind for a year or two, and come up a bit before you start looking for anything serious.  Your dating pool will also by then have established their own careers and grown up a bit, and will be easier to find partners that appreciate your work life at that time.  You should be dating around and having fun at that age.  And no, she isn't perfect, nobody is.

Nov 15, 2021 - 9:51pm

You won't be perpetually single. She seems like the perfect girl right now, but everyone seems perfect at the start in the honeymoon phase. You both know not much in reality about each other, you're more in love with an idea of who you think she is.

I wouldn't be surprised if she's truly great in reality too, but there's time for women later. You can only apply for summer internships right now. Sure, your entire life shouldn't revolve around applications, but don't underestimate the amount of time and effort it takes to nurture a blossoming relationship. It only works if you're already in an established relationship. So, now is quite frankly the worst fucking time for you to think you're falling in love with someone.

If it's truly meant to be, you can pursue it after you get your offer. Minimise your distractions and protect your sanity until then. After that, feel free to do whatever the fuck you want. 

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Nov 16, 2021 - 2:08am

These comments are sad lmao. I spent 1-2 months grinding for FT OCR, then 100 hrs tops lateraling to IB. I had too much fun my first 2.5 years of college, got a bit lucky and had other tailwinds helping me break in (not family connections or target school). BUT this thread needs a counterpoint.

  1. banking is just a job. not like it guarantees anything other than minimal free time and upper middle class income. unless you need to support your family, it isn't the be all end all
  1. college is a great time to have a first gf. lots of free time, proximity, minimal external bs. the list goes on. think with your dick for christ's sake
  1. while it's true that having a successful career will make dating easier down the line, that only goes so far. dating this girl will teach you something whether it works out or not. unless you're a super late bloomer, approaching and developing a connection with girls will not get much easier as you get older. whatever you gain in social status will be offset by having zero fucking time
  1. at the end of the day, banking is all about relationships anyways. no one becomes successful in banking/pe just by grinding technicals. for all you know, putting yourself out there with this girl could help you develop confidence, interpersonal skills, etc. that'll go way further than technicals even in an analyst interview. banking technicals aren't that hard. there are way more students who can pass them than can shoot the shit with an MD
  • Analyst 1 in VC
Nov 17, 2021 - 1:40pm

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